The Autumn Queen No. 14 – Captured

This is #14 of The Autumn Queen. To start at the beginning, go here.

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* * *

So many things, all at once.

My beating heart.

My panting breath.

Red shadows.

A blinding light.

Pain.

Then, nothingness.

I woke to the taste of stone and copper, my limbs too heavy to be of use. I could see little but rough, red-tinged walls, and my head was so heavy, I could not lift it. Cold beyond thought, I wondered at everything, even my own name. Moving my eyes brought enough exhaustion that they closed again.

When next I could open them, the world surrounding me resolved into a large, empty hall of rough-hewn rock. My hands and feet wore heavy manacles and heavy chains that snaked off into even darker shadows. I’d been stripped of my armor, and now wore only the padded underthings meant to keep the metal from chafing my skin.

The world rang with sound and stench, bells and burning.

I could taste the battlefield, still, on my tongue.

I sat up, wincing at the sound of the links rubbing and falling over one another, and licked my lips, struggling to wet my mouth so I could breathe better.

The sound of my movement brought a visitor, who held a torch down in front of him well enough that I couldn’t see his face.

“Unchain me,” I said, but my voice was broken. “I am the commander of…” I was silenced by a gauntlet pressed against my lips, the cold kiss of metal stinging my split lip.

The torch-bearer knelt beside me, and spoke.

“Not anymore,” he said. I knew who it was even before he moved the flame enough to let me see his face.

“Send word to Her Majesty,” Kellis called, turning to shout into the darkness. He looked back to me, and the only recognizable thing I could see on his face was madness. “The prisoner’s alive.”

* * *

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Don't Get Me Anything

“Getting to be near that time again.”
“And?”
“Don’t get me anything–”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“–because it just makes it awkward when–
“Seriously, wasn’t gonna.”
“–you have something for me and I don’t–wait, what?”
“We went over this last year. You said don’t get you something. I didn’t believe you. I got you something. You didn’t get me anything. It was awkward. Won’t happen again.”
“Oh. Okay, you sure?”
“Totally.”
“What is it?”
“What’s what?”
“What did you get me this year, in case I got you something, so you didn’t look like an asshole?”
“I didn’t get you anything.”
“The scarf?”
“I didn’t get you anything, I swear.”
“Oh, it’s bigger than the scarf, isn’t it?”
“Nothing. I didn’t get you anything. You told me not to. I believe you this year.”
“Oooh, way bigger than the scarf.”
“It’s not anything!”
“Okay, if you say so.”
“I fucking say so!”
“You don’t need to get all freaked out about it.”
“I’m not freaked out. I just didn’t get you anything!”
“If you’re not freaked out, you should probably stop shouting.”
“…I hate you right now.”
“No you don’t.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Don’t get me anything.”
Now I do.”

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Don’t Get Me Anything

“Getting to be near that time again.”
“And?”
“Don’t get me anything–”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“–because it just makes it awkward when–
“Seriously, wasn’t gonna.”
“–you have something for me and I don’t–wait, what?”
“We went over this last year. You said don’t get you something. I didn’t believe you. I got you something. You didn’t get me anything. It was awkward. Won’t happen again.”
“Oh. Okay, you sure?”
“Totally.”
“What is it?”
“What’s what?”
“What did you get me this year, in case I got you something, so you didn’t look like an asshole?”
“I didn’t get you anything.”
“The scarf?”
“I didn’t get you anything, I swear.”
“Oh, it’s bigger than the scarf, isn’t it?”
“Nothing. I didn’t get you anything. You told me not to. I believe you this year.”
“Oooh, way bigger than the scarf.”
“It’s not anything!”
“Okay, if you say so.”
“I fucking say so!”
“You don’t need to get all freaked out about it.”
“I’m not freaked out. I just didn’t get you anything!”
“If you’re not freaked out, you should probably stop shouting.”
“…I hate you right now.”
“No you don’t.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Don’t get me anything.”
Now I do.”

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UnOrigami

She stretched,

r e a c h i n g

to claw one hand
over her right shoulder,
to try to rub out the
knot
that had tightened
between
her neck and
shoulder blade.
No matter how she tried
to flex
or press
or touch that

spot,

she couldn’t

r e a c h

it well enough
to ease the tension.
Everything felt like
there had been a windup key
punched
into her back,
right there,
and someone was
twisting it,
jerking the gear

>notch
>   by
>     notch,

the spring coiling tighter
and tighter.

At some point,
it would

pop,

and the thrumming of her insides,
thousands of pounds of pressure
humming and singing,
would spray
outward,
an explosion of
muscle and bone

un-
-folding

like an origami creation

,esrever ni

until she was
a flat piece of flesh,
thin as paper,
unrecognizable,
white on one side,
red on the other.

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All The Words

All the words
in the world

and I can chew them up
and paste them back down
again,

with pencil on paper,
with ink,
with ones and zeroes.

I can translate them

and I can say them
and I can sing them
and I can imagine them

and I can give them color and form.

All the words
in the world

and I can frame them,

gild them,
chain them,
festoon them

with baubles and sugar cake.

All the words
in the world

and I can crack a whip

and make them do nearly
my every bidding,

call up images
that evoke brilliance and sweetness,
hope and joy,
power and knowledge.

All the words
in the world,

and I know all of them,
and have tasted them
all on my tongue.
Not one of them
is good enough
to name what my heart knows
of you,
what it has tasted
of you.

Not one,

not a bible’s verse,
not a king’s speech,
not a bard’s sonnet.

They all fall short,
far
short.

They are my greatest gift,
and they are nothing like worthy.

Love me, anyway,
and I will spend my life
trying to make a new language for us,

one that will capture
all of what my heart
feels,
and how much of that
is yours.

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