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You’ve found Catastrophe Jones, general ne’er do well and hopelessly functional semiadult. She makes shit up. She writes it down. Sometimes it’s an in-depth exploration of complex concepts given syntactical arguments via specific diction.

Sometimes it’s dick jokes.

She’s not a pervert; she’s an English major.

If you’re visiting this page right now, you’re either looking for fiction of some sort, or you’re desperately confused, so without further delay, assuming you’re not confused, let’s get to the fun stuff — all the menus you need are right up top, for Fiction, Poetry, and Other Things.

Over on the right is the subscriby-widget. Feed it an email, click the button, and get a surprise.

PSSST. If you’re looking for DEATHWATCH, BOOK ONE? It’s up under ‘Fiction, Ongoing’ — but if you’re the kind of person who needs that hit RIGHT NOW? Click here to start reading. Also? I like you.

PSSST (AGAIN). If you’re looking for DEATHWATCH, BOOK TWO? It’s ALSO up under ‘Fiction, Ongoing’ — but if you’re the kind of person who needs that hit RIGHT NOW? Click here to start reading book II and find out what happens next!

PSSST (Last time, I promise) If you just need the latest and greatest DEATHWATCH? Check out the ‘Recent Posts’ on the right over there.

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