DeathWatch No. 98 – Before Your Secta Interrupted Us?

This is Issue #98 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

“What is this I hear about temples in the city being converted into shrines?” Immanis’s eyes were narrowed, not in shrewdness, but in a mocking amusement. He paced his private study, happily drunk on aetheris, the long line of his robes flowing around his legs as his bare feet padded along the stone tiles.

“I know nothing of it,” Jet tried to say, flushed pink, holding a glass of aetheris he never did much more than put near his lips. Every time, the burn of it made his eyes water; he didn’t know how Immanis could get it past his lips. He paced as well, half-circling Immanis — they never quite came within arm’s reach. He watched Immanis move, studied the whorling patterns of his tattoos and paint, the jewels he wore. He licked his lips, swallowing, praising and cursing what he couldn’t understand, all at once. He could not rid himself of the taste of salt, of blood and aetheris, of need.

It had been days, and that taste remained.

“Even as we try to hush up the rumors, no doubt everyone knew I had been stricken with a poisoned sleeping sickness. That the Westlanders had done it. The ones who burned the fields and villages. That they possess weapons we fear — except for you. My brother, Guardian of Ilona, the people are flocking to you, because you brought me back to life, are they not?” the prince wondered.

“It seems true,” Jet sighed.

“You do not seem happy for this, my Jet,” Immanis noted, the sparkle in his eye not teasing so much as simply amused.

Trying to keep his voice level, Jet said, “I can barely leave the palace as it is — flowers are thrown at my feet, and people throng about me. There are songs!” Jet’s expression of helpless irritation was more than comical; when he noticed Immanis’s amusement, he crossed his arms over his chest and truly began to sulk. “Immanis!” he exclaimed. He set his thickbottomed glass down with a jarring ‘clank’ against one of the bookshelves in the study, and sighed heavily. “How am I to attack those who hide in the shadows when I can no longer hide in them myself?”

“You do realize you made it infinitely hard on yourself when you adopted this glorious persona with the mask, yes?” Immanis asked, smirking.

“That was your sister’s idea,” Jet grumbled. He was so busy feeling somewhat sorry for himself, he did not notice Immanis crossing to him, barring his way. He looked up at the last moment, startled, and flinched as Immanis leaned into him. “Majesty,” he breathed, his eyes falling shut. He glanced away, uncertain of how to behave.

They had not been alone together since the morning of the feast set out for Plaga. Not since Jet had awakened Immanis with a kiss, with fire, with a hunger he felt gnawing at the back of his mind, something that had been birthed and loosed but never named. Something that made him think of Kieron’s pale skin, alight with fever, Kieron’s lips against his, sudden and clumsy, Kieron’s hand curled into his.

Something that made him feel all at once beloved, and yet both betrayed and betrayer, as well.

“Hush, my brother. You have spent days without rest, running off into the city,” Immanis said, How he longed to soothe the pain evident on Jet’s features; his own wore a sympathetic plea. Let me help you. He reached up to touch Jet’s cheek, to turn Jet’s face toward his own.

Jet flinched, and then looked apologetic, almost all at once.

“Why do you recoil?” Immanis wondered softly, moving to touch Jet all the same, deciding to keep moving, to not let fear get in the way. He cupped Jet’s cheek, the pad of his thumb sliding against Jet’s lips. “Why do you tremble?” he asked, earnest. “Is it fear? Are you frightened of me?” Immanis’s voice was quiet, and he cocked his head to the side.

“Not of you,” Jet whispered, reaching up to curl a hand around Immanis’s wrist.

Abomination.

He saw the look on Kieron’s father’s face, over and over again. He remembered what it had been like to be hauled bodily away from Kieron, when he believed he was saving him.

Unworthy.

He remembered the way it felt when he begged Kieron not to leave without him, and still woke alone the next morning.

Filth.

He remembered Hoyt Redwell, and every other Academy student, and teacher, and parent, and the way boys’ fraternizing had been policed, regulated, how hard it had been to reconcile the feelings he had with his desire to be a good young man, proper, deserving of pride and honor, not knowing until it was too late that Kieron had those feelings, too.

Immanis leaned in, laying his forehead to Jet’s, and whispered “Then let us finish what we began, before your Secta interrupted us?”

Jet shook in ill-concealed fear, his eyes widening. A part of him wished then that Immanis’s power would work on him, could make him do as he was bid. He found he could not move, though he wanted to, and his breath grew shallow; tight — he felt almost cold, cut off and smothered, and he pulled Immanis’s hand away from his face, feeling his own shoulders tense up.

“My Jet?” Immanis said, dark eyes watchful.

Jet felt his own heart break as he turned his face away, closing his eyes. “Forgive me, brother, I–”

Immanis withdrew, lifting his hands away and up, as though to show himself unarmed. He laid a fist over his own tattooed chest, and said, pained, “I had heard you go always right for the heart, Guardian.” He turned and left his own study, his head high, his eyes cold and hard to hide their hurt, bare feet silent on the floor, the rustle of his robes trailing after him.

Furious and miserable, Jet picked up the glass of aetheris and drank its entirety. The glass, he crushed in his fist, clenching his teeth against his own cry as the shards pierced his skin. He threw the shards into one of the braziers, and the spatter of his blood and aetheris smoked against the coals, hissing violently, the flames flaring up.

He stalked out of the study and left for his room; no servants between the two places dared stop him, for the look on his face promised death as much as his mask ever had.

* * *

NEXT

Posted in Deathwatch, Fiction, Serial | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I Imagine Some Day

I imagine some day you
will believe me when I tell you
my paper skin
can take no more of your tears.
Someday
when you wipe your eyes on me
and your crying is over
and I am thick with a rime of salt,
heavy enough
that the crust of it weighs down my wings,
the crystals of it will tear me open,
and I will be laid
both bloody and broken,
wet with your weeping,
unable to fly free.

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

From Clay

I would love the way you wounded me
even if I did not love you;
only some kind of divine perfection
must know how to bleed a man that much
and still leave life remaining.
God,
you,
the perfect sadist,
make me want to live just a little longer,
to suffer just a little more.
I’d burn churches in your name,
and hang upon your cross,
and forever be a cannibal of your flesh
if only you would destroy me,
bring me down to ash,
to build me up again, from clay.

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Your heart with my heart

Your heart fits with my heart,
wounded hand in wounded hand.
Your heart lives with my heart,
broken sigh with broken sigh.
Your heart beats with my heart,
staggered pulse to staggered pulse.
Your heart dies with my heart,
desperate lie by desperate lie.

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

DeathWatch No. 97 – Shall we not wait for his Majesty, the Prince?

This is Issue #97 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

“You told him what?” Lucida said, trying to keep her voice low. “Gemma! Immanis has been unresponsive for weeks! He is… he is lost in sleep! He does not wake, does not answer — he is not coming to dinner!” Lucida paced, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes, struggling to keep her temper. “Did you just leave Plaga in the feasting hall?”

“Do not scold me as though I am a child,” Gemma warned Lucida, looking irritable. “Of course not. I showed him to it, and back to his rooms so that he could make himself further presentable, and manage to get there again on his own, and I sent Secta to Jet, to let him know he must hurry. And I know very well how Immanis lies in sleep. But I also know that our Guardian has visited him many times. That he is with him even now. Immanis will wake, Lucy,” Gemma said quietly, her dark eyes shining. “Our Guardian will wake him. I have seen it.”

Lucida pulled Gemma into her arms and laid her cheek against her lover’s shoulder. “I believe you had a dream–”

“–a vision–” Gemma interrupted.

“–and I believe Jet would carve the sun from the heavens if he could, but I do not believe he can bring light back to my brother’s eyes,” Lucida said sadly.

“Have faith, bellamea,” Gemma whispered, turning to kiss Lucida’s temple. “I am not talking of Jet. Jet is but a man — the Guardian is the blood inside him. It is what makes him more than a Westlander,” she said, rubbing Lucida’s back. “Now hurry; or your grand entrance will not be fashionably late, but will be insultingly so.”

Lucida fell silent, thoughtful. When she got ready, she dressed and put up her hair, painted her face, and played pretend that this would be a fun evening. In fact, she simply felt lonely and angry, and wanted to spend the night curled up in her bed, with Gemma in her arms.

When they walked to the grand hall, Jet was already there, talking with Acer and his men. Lucida and her retinue swept toward them, and each woman found an officer with whom to talk and flirt, though Gemma stood close to Jet, watching him with her dark eyes.

“Majesty,” Jet said, bowing low. Lucida stood before him as he straightened, and she caught a brightness in his eye she hadn’t seen before. She felt the anger she held melt away as she smiled for him, and when he smiled in return, she tried not to look too astonished, smirking faintly, reaching to offer out her arm. “Shall we to dine?” she said to Plaga, when he rose from his bow.

“Shall we not wait for his Majesty, the Prince?” Plaga wondered, narrowing his eyes and looking about the hall.

“My brother–” Lucida began, pursing her lips.

“–has arrived,” Immanis called, from across the hall as he walked in, chin lifted, a knowing smile curving his lips.

Sancte mi, qui vivificat mortuos,” Gemma intoned, and as she went down to her knees. “Praise to the Guardian who gives life to the dead,” Gemma whispered as she looked up at Jet.

“Dead?” Acer said softly.

Dressed, painted, masked, looking for all the world like a doll celebrating death, Jet held Lucida to him tightly, but reached forward and laid a gentle hand on Gemma’s head. “Accipiet benedictionem meam. Levare cor ad gloriam Ilona,” he said quietly, smiling down at her as she smiled up at him. Receive my blessing. Lift your heart to the glory of Ilona.

Gemma looked to Acer, smiling faintly. “A mutual enemy attempted to poison our beloved Prince. The Guardian protects Ilona, so too, he protects the Prince.”

Lucida dug an elbow in Jet’s ribs and smiled brightly as she whispered, without moving her lips. “And what in aetheric blazes is this?”

Jet answered her in the same fashion, though it was easier with the mask. “You said theatric. Dramatic. I’m just running with it. Thought you’d like it, but I can tone it down if you–”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Lucida said, half-laughing. “I just didn’t expect…this. You’ll have to explain yourself to me, later.” As she fully took in the sight of her brother, however, her eyes went wide, huge; she leaned back against Jet, her heart thundering. “I-Immanis,” she said. “You…”

“I am well, my sister.” Immanis promised, dark eyes flashing. He was magnificent in his royal dress, painted, tattooed, jewels at his throat, a sweeping corona of carnelian and glass crowning the long, glossy black of his hair. “It was the Guardian who revived me.”

“It was foretold,” Lucida said softly, taking a step away from Jet, to be enfolded in her brother’s embrace. She hid her tears well, holding him tightly, whispering secrets against his skin as she embraced him. “Gemma had a vision,” she said, loud enough that their small group could hear it.

“When?” Immanis wondered, releasing Lucida and moving to take Gemma’s hands and squeeze them gently.

“Days ago,” Gemma murmured, her expression beatific, “Majesty — it is a small thing.”

“And have you had any visions since then?” he asked, releasing her, his dark eyes on her, hungrily curious.

Gemma stared up at Immanis for a long moment, looking stunned and exhilarated, and perhaps even a little hesitant. “No, Majesty,” she whispered, shaking her head. Gemma backed away, watching those eyes, and stepped into Acer, who carefully stopped her. She blushed, bowing her head, and Acer bowed to her, low and admiring.

“Be sure if you do that you tell me of them,” Immanis told her. When Acer rose, Immanis was watching him thoughtfully. The Prince looked to Jet, then Lucida, then Gemma, and then gave Acer a subtle nod.

The young Lord nodded in return, looking eager. He gestured for Gemma to accompany him to the table. The other officers and various ladies in waiting, other ambassadors, and palace courtiers went to the feasting hall.

Lucida did not miss the exchange; she grabbed for Jet’s hands and squeezed them tightly, holding back a look of both fury and jealousy, her smile growing tight, looking far more like a baring of teeth than a grin. “There are gifts of Ilona I am not prepared to give,” she hissed under her breath, simply for Jet.

He squeezed her hands in return and one hand reached to caress her cheek. “Just breathe,” he whispered. “Not even things carved in stone last,” he tells her. “Come. The feast is ready,” he whispered.

“I will not lose her,” Lucida answered as she let him lead her away. “Promise me you will not let me lose her, Guardian. I would rather die.”

Jet paused, looking down at Lucida, their eyes meeting, and his heart broke for the look of misery on her face.

“Promise me,” she whispered, begging him without shame.

For better or for worse, Jet nodded. “…I promise you, Lucida.”

* * *

NEXT

Posted in Deathwatch, Fiction, Serial | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment