DeathWatch No. 71 – A Hunt

This is Issue #71 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

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* * *

Feeling refreshed, if somewhat on edge from his terrifying dream, Jet knocked on Lucida’s door.

“One moment!” Her voice seemed higher than normal — strained.

Frowning, Jet let himself in; she did the same to him so often, he imagined it was no high offense, and in his concern, he hoped it was a trifle — perhaps she needed a lacing unknotted before she felt ready to join him with Immanis at dinner. He shut the door quietly behind him, and came into her main rooms, where he found himself staring at Lucida writing furiously, pausing to scratch something out and then crumple the paper and throw it, then get a fresh sheet and begin again. She wasn’t even dressed for dinner.

“Lucy?” Jet’s voice echoed the concern on his face. “What, ah… what… are you doing?” He slipped closer and moved to look over her shoulder. Her flowing script began on over several dozen existing pieces of parchment.

“Lucy?”

“Shut up,” she said, but there was no venom, nor love. There wasn’t any teasing — she didn’t even so much as look at him.

He leaned down to see what she was writing, and she twisted, irritation and anger on her face as she snapped up at him, “What.” It wasn’t even a question.

He reached out a hand and put it to her cheek, then leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You look upset, can I–”

“Of course. Be my guest. Do you know how to compose a carmenamorem?” Lucida’s expression was dry, angry, and yet oddly hopeful.

“I don’t even recognize that w–oh. Wait. Amorem. Amorem — a love song? You… you’re writing a love poem?” Jet couldn’t help it; his expression was terribly amused. Of all the things he’d imagined Lucy asking his help for, hiding a body was higher on the expected list than writing love poems.

“Fates help you caro, but if you smile at me right now I will cut it off of your face,” she snapped.

Jet’s expression quickly grew sober. He stood up, cleared his throat, and shook his head, saying, “I’ve written letters, but not… no. I’m sorry — ”

Lucy shook her head, sighing, and shoved the papers from her desk, putting her head in her hands.

Immediately, Jet knelt again and moved to gather her into his arms “Ah — bellamea, stop. You’ll ruin your fine things. What is it? Why are you upset you cannot write a love poem?”

“Because my Gemma receives them from an ardent admirer, and she will not admit it, but I can tell they delight her,” Lucy said. “They made her glow,” she said, looking forlorn. “I love her. I want to give her that joy. I did not know she would love them, or I would have learned to do it already.” Lucy’s face was the picture of sulky jealousy; she even pouted over the issue, frustrated.

“Who is the admirer?” Jet wondered, petting Lucy’s hair.

Shrugging, Lucy answered, “We do not know. Some noble fop here in the palace, likely. The writing is affected, but it is both written and written well.” She sighed, adding darkly “Someone means to make her swoon. I should like to make them swallow their own manho–”

Jet shuddered as he kissed the top of her head and said, “My sister, my Lucida, my light — Gemma is a lucky woman, that you love her. I don’t know the first thing about writing love poems, however.” He was all apologies as he hugged her, and said, “Let’s get ready for dinner, hmm? Immanis has news, and perhaps you can ask him if he knows how to do such a thing. Has he ever wooed a woman before?”

“Seduced,” Lucida said, sighing and rolling her eyes. “But not wooed.” She got up from her desk and walked to her closets to dress herself for dinner.

Jet watched her; she was half-naked or near-to most of the time she was around him — he’d grown used to much of it. “Don’t forget — this is not a private dinner. You should–”

Lucida walked back into the room.

Jet’s jaw dropped. He repeated, “You should–”

She was wearing a dress that was more bare than bead, with the thinnest of skirts fluttering about her thighs. “Dress for the occasion?” she said. “It’s summer, my Jet, and the people will be sitting at my table, dining on my food. I’ll wear what I like, and neither you, nor the Prince of Ilona will make me do otherwise.”

“That’s… yes,” Jet said, nodding, dragging his eyes away from her smooth skin and the glittering beads adorning it.

Lucy was not to be denied; she stood near Jet and ran her hands over his clothes, a silken outfit in black, with a heavy sash, lending him the look of a shadow; he’d taken to dressing that way both in and out of the palace walls, and it pleased her. The clothing was simple, but remarkably well-made, both durable and easy-to-move in, silent when he walked or ran. “You’re dressed well, caro; I imagined I shouldn’t allow myself to be upstaged by my little brother,” she laughed.

“Little?” Jet retorted, rolling his eyes.

“Ah, caro, I can only have one bigger brother, and that will always be my Immanis, yes?” Lucy said, dark eyes glittering.

“Fair.” Jet’s voice was amused; they left Lucy’s rooms together, and proceeded to the great hall, where Immanis was already entertaining his guests.

“And here they are!” Immanis cried as they entered. He welcomed them both to his side and kissed them each on the cheeks, embracing them. “We were all just talking about you.”

Jet felt something knot in the pit of his stomach, but he didn’t let anything show on his face.

One of the servants pressed heavy, cold goblets into his and Lucy’s hands.

Lucy’s expression tightened, similarly; she laughed daringly and said, “Oh? Something good, I hope, but if not, something terrifying.”

One of the guests excitedly clapped her hands, all but squealing. “I just think it’s so amazing–”

It set the room to fluttering around Lucida; she bore it well — she loved to be the center of attention in so many ways; the women cooed at her, and she looked to Immanis for some kind of explanation. While waiting, she took a deep drink of what she’d been given, hiding a pained expression behind the goblet.

“I merely informed them that I had officially chosen Jet as my champion,” Immanis said, raising a goblet to toast them both. The tang of aetheris was in the air; Jet recognized the smell, suddenly, as the guests raised their own glasses, all looking wide-eyed with wonder.

“Brother dear — what has that to do with me?” Lucida laughed.

“Oh,” the guest who’d spoken earlier gushes. “If I were to be married to such a magnificent beast of a man?” She laid a hand to Jet’s chest, where his shirt was open, and splayed her fingers. “Being wed to the guardian spirit of Ilona? How awestruck you must be!”

Jet looked at Immanis, then back at Lucy, who’s teeth were bared in a smile that was all joy to the guests of the party, but Immanis himself blanched faintly when he saw it directed at him.

“Oh, of course! I live my life in perpetual awe,” Lucy cooed, all but simpering at the woman, who had no idea Lucy was envisioning biting the rings out of her nose and spitting them back at her screaming face. “I’m so overwhelmed, we haven’t even begun the planning. I’ll have to conscript an entire army to handle the arrangements. It will be such an occasion, it will take over a year to plan!”

Jet allowed himself to fake disappointment; he smiled at Lucy and reached to give her hand a squeeze.

“Fear not,” Immanis said. “I have already made many of the arrangements, my precious Lucida. There will be a great ceremony which envoys from every city-state will attend. I will bind your union, and then we will have one hundred days of games, feasting, and revelry!”

A great cry went up amongst the guests; they clapped and called out, delighted. Immanis was not yet finished with his announcements, however; his eyes gleamed as he handed off his goblet and moved to cup Jet’s face in his hands, saying, “The hunt, my brother.” Lucida’s eyes grew wide, and Jet’s heart skipped a beat as their brother declared, “We will at last have a hunt.”

* * *

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Better Than Before

Based on a musical that never happened, but was equal parts tragic and hilarious.

* * *

Fresh start. New, clean moment.
Deep breath. Forget the fire.
Nothingness. Forget the ashes.
Climb on out; time to get higher.

Building from the bottom up:
that’s where we are, now.
Making something from the nothing you’ve got:
this is where you are, now.

Build the tower; build the wall.
Build the castle; build it tall.
Keep it strong and keep defending;
arm your people — enemies are sending
weapons made of bone and hate.
Take your time; it’s not too late
to start again.
It’s not too late to start again
and hope this time the end is better than before,
hope this time the ending’s better than before.

Crawl out of the hiding space
Out of the shadows; find the sun
Let the light shine on your face
You deserve this — you’re the one

who’s building from the bottom up:
that’s where we are now —
making something from the nothing we’ve got
this is where we are now.

Build the tower; build the wall.
Build the castle; build it tall.
Keep it strong and keep defending;
arm your people — enemies are sending
rebels made of bone and time
to steal whats yours and steal what’s mine,
so start again.
They’ll steal it all so start again
and hope this time the end is better than before,
hope this time the ending’s better than before.

Make your castle a fortress
bar every window and door
keep the madmen away
that’s what castles are for

Build our tower; build our wall.
Build our castle; build it tall.
Keep it strong and keep defending;
arm our people — enemies are sending
soldiers made of steel and stone,
to break our hearts and break our home
so rise again
and hope this time the end is better than before,
hope this time it means the end of war
hope this time we won’t have to kill many more.

Let’s hope this time the ending’s better
than before.

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That kind of love

She sleeps next to me,
not a comma but a semi colon;

she is an abrupt pause
in the bed,
leading me to stop
when I wake,
to regard her
for long moments,
lost,
lingering in the warm scent of her,
before I can begin again.

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How Sharp It Felt

This one lover of mine,
we talked the other night,
while he laid in bed,
after finally turning off the laptop.
He sent me pictures of his face
as he laid in shadow,
his features illuminated
by the cold white glow of his phone,
and I sent him pictures of my eyes,
bright and blue,
which he loves to look at.
I listened to his breathing change;
I listened to it catch.
I listened to the familiar sound
of slick skin on skin,
and I let my voice get low and hungry.
I told him all of the things I missed.
All of the things I wanted to do to him.
I whispered to him
about keeping me
a dirty little secret from his wife.
About me keeping him
a dirty little secret from mine.
If they knew what we wanted from one another —
if they knew how easy it was
for me to get him to the edge of forever
with just a few words…
If they knew how sharp it felt
to remember his hand curled around my cock,
his hand around my throat,
his mouth on mine,
lips cold from iced whisky and soda,
if they knew for half a second
the joy that was
the way his eyes would light up to see me,
how could they deny us something so easy,
so natural,
so much a part of their own lives,
like breathing,
as being?

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DeathWatch No. 70 – Told You The Floor Was Cold

This is Issue #70 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

As he roused, Kieron felt himself held in warm, strong arms. He muttered sleepily, his lips muffled against a stubbled jaw. Breathing in, he smelled leather and sweat, and he frowned as his own embrace tightened, trying to comprehend what he was sensing, what was going on around him. He was blissfully warm, and aware of a tight heaviness in the pit of his belly. “I have to piss,” he mumbled. “Jet,” he said, releasing his embrace. “Leggo,” he murmured, and he carefully began to detangle himself, yawning as he put a hand to the warm hip laid to his. He opened his eyes to pale dawn creeping in the portholes, and then suddenly he stiffened, his breath caught. “Nate?”

“Shit, and here I thought you’d forgotten my name,” Nate chuckled, releasing Kieron easily, rolling back. He laid in his own bed, languid and watchful, without a care. “Watch your step. Floor’s cold,” he warned easily.

“Uh-” was all Kieron could manage for a moment. “I’m… I’m not–”

“Go. Piss. I’m not going anywhere. It’s early enough I don’t need to meet the Captain for another half an hour,” Nate told him. “We can talk, or not talk, when you come back,” he offered.

“Uh-uh… uh,” Kieron stuttered, blinking and feeling rather flummoxed. “Okay? Okay. Oh… kay. Sure.” He nodded, slipping out of the bed, and then commenced making pained noises as his feet hit the cold boards. “Gah!” was the most coherent utterance; he immediately withdrew his feet and tucked himself back into the blankets.

When his body fit against Nate’s, the quartermaster curled him close without hesitation, saying, “Told you the floor was cold.”

Kieron went still for a long moment, and then said, “I’m not cold anymore.”

“Do you want me to let you go?” Nathan asked. His breath was warm against Kieron’s cheek.

“I — uh. I don’t…” he whispered, his voice shaky. “Half of me wants to freak out right now, and half of that’s because I actually do have to take a piss,” he said. “Other half of that’s screaming that I’m a cadet, and you’re my superior officer, and this isn’t a hypothermia situation, and it’s not an emergency, and what the fuck am I thinking?”

“Shh–shhh, fuck, Brody, it’s not that complicated,” Nate laughed, sounding anything but concerned. “If you’re warm enough, then you put on fresh, dry clothes, and deal with your wet ones. I’m not looking for an early morning shag, n’if I were, I’d be inviting my wife to my bed. You’re lovely and all, but you’re a bit young and inexperienced for me. I’ve already done my experimenting. I don’t want to be with anyone else who doesn’t know what they want, yet. Besides, storm’s passed. We’re likely to be headed back toward the Ridge soon. Maxima done fucked everything up, truly. S’a lot to get done before we dock. Paperwork and planning. Debriefing. Then it’ll be up to the uppers to see if you have to put in for a completion or if this’ll count as a full tour, all things considered. So you’re fine. You’re still naked, but you’re fine.”

Kieron swallowed fear and pride and anxiety and hope all at once, and struggled not to choke on them. He laughed, pulling away, and said, “Well, thanks for making sure I didn’t make that awkward.”

“My pleasure,” Nate laughed, shaking his head.

Kieron slipped out of the bed and said, “I’ll have to steal some dry clothes, though–”

“That set of drawers,” Nate said nodding to one corner. Once Kieron began to dress, Nate got up to do the same. He felt the younger man’s eyes on him, and said, “Got any questions, or just can’t help but stare?”

“Shit — sorry, I.. that’s a lot of tattoos. And scars,” Kieron noted.

“I earned the scars. And tattoos,” Nate said, shrugging. “Most of the airmen have ’em.”

“Scars? Or tattoos?” Kieron’s half-smile was almost cheeky.

“Both,” Nate said, smirking in response. “Tattoos are just scars on purpose. Something to remember yourself by. You should see Sha’s,” he said, his expression taking on a faintly marveling tone. “On second thought–” he said, looking surprised at himself. “Don’t even mention I said that. I’m not looking to get keelhauled.”

Kieron shook his head as he said, “Neither am I; consider it forgotten.” He laughed with Nathan, and finished dressing himself. The clothes were looser than his own, but if necessary, he could simply wander back to his bunk and put on his own fresh ones — at least this way, he wouldn’t be naked or shivering wet on the walk there. He brushed his hair and teeth, but kept looking back at Nathan, eyes searching for details, taking in the pink and silver weals that sprawled over his back, knotted at his shoulder, tightened the skin on the outside of his left thigh. And as for tattoos… Knots and buckles, gears and pulleys, springs and dials, anchors, birds, bullets, swords, maps and compasses — the lines in black and navy were a patchwork against his skin, hidden easily beneath his uniform, designed to be showing only occasionally, when work allowed for a cuff to be rolled back, or a collar unbuttoned.

“Seriously,” Nate said dryly, turning to look at Kieron, dark eyes twinkling, “You got anything you want to ask me?”

“Nothing that wouldn’t come across as desperately personal,” Kieron said easily enough, shrugging. “You’ve been… I don’t want to be rude.”

“I’m offering, Brody. What, you think I’m fucking shy?” he said, laughing loudly as he spread his arms to show himself off. “M’not always proud of the things I’ve done,” he said. “But I’m not ashamed of the man I am,” he says to Kieron. “So if you’ve got a qu–”

“That heart,” Kieron blurted.

“The Kriegsman,” Nathan answered quickly enough, before Kieron could even point to which one, but Kieron noticed the faintest change in Nathan’s manner.

“…what was his name?” Curiosity hung heavy in Kieron’s voice; he didn’t know anyone too much like himself, like Jet. He didn’t even know if he felt what he felt, or what it meant, or how it worked, but the love held between two others… that was more accessible, at least.

Nathan’s ears turned the faintest shade of pink. He answered, “Danival,” and smiled faintly as he continued to put on his clothes.

“You loved him?” Kieron said, holding tightly to his uniform jacket.

“I still might,” Nate said, shrugging.

“Maybe I’ll get one,” Kieron said, after a moment.

“A Kriegsman?” Nate teased, and finished getting dressed.

Kieron’s eyes rolled; he laughed as he said, “A tattoo. Thank heavens I have a spare pair of boots.”

As they headed out of Nathan’s chambers, the quartermaster leaned close in the doorway, his body heat easily felt against Kieron’s skin. “One more thing,” he said, cocking his head to the side as he blocked the doorway.

Kieron’s breath caught as he looked up at Nate. “Yeah?”

“Earlier,” Nathan said, “you were talking about how much of you wanted to freak out.” He paused, but then said, “That’s only half, all told. S’the other half want?”

Swallowing roughly, Kieron answered in the only way he could: honestly. “I… have no idea.”

* * *

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