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I’m Catastrophe Jones, general ne’er do well and hopelessly semi-functional semi-adult. I make shit up and sometimes I manage to write it down. Sometimes it’s an in-depth exploration of complex concepts given syntactical arguments via specific diction.

Sometimes it’s dick jokes.

I’m not a pervert; I’m a recovering English major.

I’m prone to drama, and fits of self-discovery, but it’s likely you already knew that.

If you’re visiting this page right now, you’re either looking for fiction of some sort, or you’re desperately confused, so without further delay, assuming you’re not confused, let’s get to the fun stuff — all the menus you need are right up top, for Fiction, Poetry, and Other Stuff.

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