DeathWatch No. 92 – Oh My Little Bird

This is Issue #92 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

The roar of the wind around them both was beyond deafening; Jules pulled herself up to the wheel, then grabbed the hinges.

Kieron watched her, but the wind was making his eyes water, and the tears were half-freezing on his cheeks. He could feel his own blood freezing against the latch, where his fingers held, and for a brilliantly crazy moment, he wondered if he could relax his hand, and stay held there. His arms were just getting so damned tired.

Jules strained, gritting her teeth, and got her gloved hands on the jamb. She hauled herself back into the ship, and braced herself in the doorway, looking for a way to get Kieron back with her. She glanced over her shoulder, and saw him there, hands clutching the latch, bloodied and torn and freezing. She looked back to see what she could use to haul him back in. There were hanks of rope, parachutes, and oxygen masks along every other hall (no Captain ever wanted to assume her ship would go down, but no Captain ever left preparations for it up to chance, either), and this one was no different. “HANG ON!” she called to Kieron, and grabbed for a rope, but knocked down a chute and a mask as she fumbled in the roaring wind. She hauled them over one shoulder, and grabbed for the rope again, but when she turned around…

…Kieron was gone.

“Nathan,” she whispered as her heart skipped a beat. “Oh, my little bird. Forgive me.”

And with that, she jumped.

* * *

Kieron fell, tumbling, toward clouds that were lit up in brilliant wonder. He saw the ship, the massive hole in the back end of it, and how the screws turned lazily as it drifted. The wind roared in his ears, so much air mocking the way he couldn’t catch his breath.

His vision began to grey, and he mouthed the words to an old meditation from the Academy, a sort of prayer on serenity. He was so lightheaded, so close to hypothermia and hypoxia he thought he was hallucinating when a figure streaked toward him out of the night. Like some avenging spirit, Jules flew to him, and stopped him from spinning in the sky. Her red hair was wild, a flame that haloed her face, radiant even in the night.

When she put the O2 mask to his face, his head cleared just enough that he could panic. He tried to grab hold of her, his heart in his throat, his eyes wide. “Jules,” he rasped. “Jules, we’re falling.”

She wrestled herself free and shouted in his face, “Hold right the fuck still! Don’t y’be makin me punch you so I can save us both! So what if we’re fallin? Didn’t Nathan ever tell you this is what we used to do for fun?”

They slipped into the storm clouds, a pair of broken birds disappearing below dark waves.

No one aboard the Jacob knew they were gone yet.

He went still, and they both grew soaked as she worked quickly, counting down, strapping the chute to his body, giving them both doses from the O2 tank, trying hard to hurry, even as her hands felt numb. “We’re still gonna hit fast, Brody, ’cause we’ve only got the one chute. You’re a featherweight and so’m I, but we’re apt to break limbs if we’re not careful.”

“Nah,” said Kieron, giddy from the O2. “We’re gonna bounce right off that balloon,” he said.

“What?” Jules cried, twisting to see. “No time, no time–” She tucked her shoulder and wrapped her legs around Kieron, kissing his cheek. “Hold on, boy. Just you fucking hold on to me.”

Kieron seized Jules, saying, “F’I’m gonna die, was nice of you to make sure I didn’t go it alone.”

“Shut it, cadet,” she hissed, and with her tucked shoulders, they veered away from the ship on the way down as she secured the chutepack around Kieron.

When she pulled the cord, time seemed to stop. Kieron heard the whipping roar of the unfolding silk, and he tightened his grip on Jules, reaching to put a hand behind her head and cradle her against his body. The sudden jerk as they slowed down made his teeth clack together. He tasted blood in his mouth, and felt like laughing. All around them were the sounds of the storm, the sounds of war, and they were floating down through it, a feather on the tempest wind.

They weren’t dead yet, at least.

The giddy joy in his chest dissipated in and instant when another sharp jerk nearly tore Jules from his arms. In a flurry of motion and roiling stormcloud, as the black and silverblue mists cleared, they could see their chute was caught in the rigging of a ship. They’d avoided one merely to fall into another.

They dangled alongside the sleek boards, and Kieron finally relaxed, giving in. “Looks like we’re caught,” he noted absently. Everything still felt surreal. Only three minutes ago, he’d been standing on board the Jacob, talking to Jules outside the head.

“Like fuck,” Jules hissed, and she began squirming in Kieron’s arms. “Let me go,” she said, fighting like a hellcat. “Let me go now, Brody. Brody, let me go.”

“What? Jules, you’ll–Ow. Stop that! You’ll fall, fuck, OW! Damnit!” Kieron protested.

“No. No, I’m not — I won’t. You let me go, Kieron, NOW. It’s a fucking order!” Jules said, the whites of her eyes gone huge, her heart thundering in her chest.

“I’m not letting you go!”

“Do it!”

“No!”

The terror on her face almost brought about Kieron’s own panic. She struggled with him, and her fist connected with his cheek. He cried out, cursing as a stitch pulled, and blood ran. She went stiff, recoiling in shock. “I can’t,” she said. “I can’t be goin back to them, Brody. Don’t you make me. I can’t do it again.”

Again.

Kieron blanched — Abramov had mentioned it, but only briefly.

They hurt Yana.

He held her tight, and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, saying, “Okay. It’s okay.” He nodded to her, and reached up to undo the clasps holding the chute to his back.

“What… what are you doing?” Jules asked, looking up at him in bewilderment

“We’ll go together,” Kieron said. “I’m not letting you go, Jules, I can’t do it. I could never forgive myself. I could never look Nate in the eye again.”

“So you’d just… fall with me?” she goggled.

Kieron shrugged. “It’d be quick, yeah?”

“Quick as fallin asleep,” she said. “Only, don’t do it. Don’t,” she said, reaching up a hand to curl her fingers around his. “We’ll figure it out, right?” she wondered, tears in her eyes.

Kieron was quiet and agreeable as he nodded. “Okay, sure.” He rested his head against hers and looked at the side of the ship as they swung there in the cold and wet. “Tropaeum,” he said aloud. “Jules — do you know how to speak the blacklands tongue?”

“You tryin to distract me, Brody?”

“Depends. Is it working?”

On the shipdeck, they were finally noticed, and crews were working on a way to bring them back aboard, reaching out with catchpoles and nets.

“It means winning, I think,” Jules said, her cheek to Kieron’s. “If you see him before me, tell him I love him, yeah?”

Kieron nodded, his hold tightening around her, even as they were dropped on the deck, and into the grasp of armed, shouting soldiers.

* * *

NEXT

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Blaze Of Glory

How often I thought of you, the peaceful one,
a graceful being of pure serenity.
I dreamed of dancing into your life,
a flickering flame, a burning song.
I wanted you for my own,
but lacked the form that would claim you.
I would have seized you
if I had not been so sure
I would crush that which I loved
above all else.
I would have worshipped you,
flung aside the gods
and made you a place in the heavens.
I would have made your eyes stars,
and your breath the celestial wind
that whorls the sun and moon through the sky.
I delight in your smiles, in your joy,
and though you are not and never will be mine,
I am content that you are content,
and I wish you nothing but happiness,
even without me
and that,
my purest darling,
is love.

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DeathWatch No. 91 – Watch Over Him

This is Issue #91 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

“Majesty. Guardian. A thousand pardons,” Secta said, buttoning down his shocked (and ridiculously amused) expression as quickly as he could. He cleared his throat, looking away and moved to get out of their way as quickly as possible.

It didn’t matter; the spell was broken. Jet withdrew from Lucida, panting. He stared at her for a long moment, then shook his head, and turned away to shut himself in his baths, calling back to her, “You should ready yourself. Dinner will be ready, before long.”

Stunned, Lucida stared after him, fury and heartbreak hardening her pretty face. She stomped her foot in impatience, and turned to go back out the door they’d tumbled in.

Secta was there, opening it for her, looking apologetic. “Majesty,” he said, looking pained. “Forgive him, he–”

“He does not love me, yes, I know,” Lucida spat. “The whole of the palace will know, Secta, if he does not learn to act, as I have had to.” She worked hard to cover her hurt with a mask of annoyance.

“My apologies, Majesty, I was going to suggest he simply needed more time. I imagine had I not startled him, he would’ve been content to… ah… act,” Secta said, clearing his throat.

“Perhaps,” Lucida sighed. “Watch over him, Secta. He is fragile, still, for all his invincibility, and Ilona needs him.”

“Yes, Majesty,” Secta murmured, shutting the door after her. He then went to the bathroom door and knocked. “My Lord–”

“Go away, Secta,” Jet rasped, his voice low, rough with distress. “I do not wish your services.” His head was pounding, and his blood roared in his ears; he gritted his teeth against a peculiar sensation, a tightening in his belly he could neither name or dispel.

“I could bring you a woma–”

“I do not want a woman!” Jet shouted in return.

Emboldened by the tone of his master’s voice, which bore far more misery than fury, Secta opened the door, and stepped in.

Jet was leaned over the washbasin, hands on the marble, his painted face bowed. Blood and tears ran tracks over the marks that had been so carefully done; he turned and looked at Secta, rage in his eyes. “I said–”

“I heard you, Lord,” Secta said softly. “And perhaps it is exactly that which pains you. I needn’t bring you a woman,” he said, his voice gentle in its offer. “If your blood cries for something else, perhaps–”

“Leave it be, Secta,” Jet hissed.

Secta stepped forward, and put his fingertips on Jet’s cheek. “Lord,” he whispered. “Forgive me, but it is my one duty to ease you,” he said quietly.

“You cannot help me, Secta,” Jet said, reaching up to catch the groom’s hand, even as he turned his cheek to it, desperate to lean into the touch.

In that instant, Secta too leaned forward, and pressed his cheek to Jet’s, whispering against his skin, close to his ear, “But I can, Lord, if you let me.”

The feel of Secta’s lips near his ear was an overwhelming rush of heat, of need, of confusing, conflicting desires. Jet’s eyes widened as he took in the meaning beyond Secta’s words. He shivered, standing quite close, his cheek against that of his groom, breathing raggedly for long moments, listening to his blood rush in his ears, an ocean of rage and desire, until he could finally say, “Leave me be. I cannot.”

“Jet,” Secta purred. “If I am not mistaken… it is in your blood. You must.”

“What I must do is my duty,” Jet snarled. “You overstep, and your offer, were it to anyone else, would see you executed.”

Secta pulled back, blushing hotly, and gave a quick bow. “As you wish, Lord. All apologies. I will remove myself from your presence until you have need of me. If you have need of me,” he said stiffly. “Your clothes and ornament are laid out. I will be outside your doors should you require me.” He left with all speed, his head down, bowed, his eyes looking away from Jet.

Jet watched him go, and locked the door behind him. He then paced, back and forth, for nearly a quarter of an hour, trying to calm himself enough to wash up so he could get ready for the evening’s feast. When he couldn’t find his own calm, when he remained in pure turmoil, he simply strode out, walking past Secta, refusing to look at him. All he could think of, all he could imagine, was the heat of skin on skin, the scent of aetheris, and the burning ache in his scarred hand.

“Lord?” Secta said, fearful and hopeful all at once.

Jet did not answer the groom, but ran, only one thought in his heart.

It is a gift of my blood.

* * *

Jet let himself into Immanis’s room; rushing past guards without comment — they had no need to stop him, and no curiosity as to the rush. The room had been freshened; it smelled cool and sweet — he strode to Immanis’s bedside, and pulled back the sheets, baring Immanis’s tattooed body. He pulled off his shroud, revealing his flawless skin, and the knives of black glass he now kept strapped against it. He crawled into the bed, touching Immanis’s cool skin with his own, took his brother’s hand, and straddled his brother’s hips, the fever of his body warming them both.

He sat up and took one of the glass knives, and put it between their joined hands. “Iuvo. Obsecro,” he pled. “I am begging you, my brother, come back to me,” he breathed, and with that, he cut their palms, and pressed the wounds together. The flat of the blade he first put to Immanis’s lips, and then his own, kissing it before putting it aside.

The searing heat of his reopened scar throbbed from his hand all the way behind his eyes as he leaned low and pressed his mouth to Immanis’s, tasting blood and aetheris and hope and pain all at once.

* * *

NEXT

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Spindle (it just doesn’t mean what you think it means)

He
asked if
he
could come over.
He
was old enough to be
my
father.
He
asked if
he
could show
me
something.
I
told
him
yes.
I
was naive.
He
was hungry for it. That much,
I
knew.
I
liked the attention until we were alone together. Until
he
said
he
wanted to teach
me.
Until the knot of the necktie tightened around
my
wrists. Until
he
said that it was about mastering fear and doing what
he
said, because
he
would know best, and
I
would like it and
he
would take care of
me.
He
put
me
on
my
back, and held
my
fists over
my
head.
When
I
brought them down
he
would force them back up.
He
was huge. Stronger than
me.
Older than
me,
and most importantly,
I
thought
he
was more powerful than
me.
He
spread
my
thighs and put
his
face between them.
He
sounded like a hungry animal.
He
made
me
come — and that made
me
think
I
wanted it. Made
me
think
I
was broken. Made
me
think
I
deserved it.
I
was queasy. It was an orgasm, but confusing.
I
was wet but shaking, and not with desire.
I
didn’t know how to say no once
I
had already said yes.
I
got quiet.
I
was afraid.
I
did everything
I
could to make sure
he
finished and left, told
him
I
didn’t want to lie to
his
wife, and once
he
was gone,
I
made a single phone call.
You
probably don’t even remember the details but
you
probably saved
my
life.
I
had decided then that because
I
was so obviously
self-
destructive, that there must be something wrong with
me
and if
you
hadn’t named him as wrong and promised
me
I
was all right
I
would never have managed to climb back out of that bathtub and into
your
arms.

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Crisis

This brittle thing we had —
like lace gone to ash
from a slow burn.
Pretty thing,
but look at it twice
and it’s dust.
I don’t understand
why you had to turn it all
upside down —
was it something I said?
Something I did?
Something involving
how I didn’t feel like
worshipping your pointless cock
night and day?
Or,
like most things involving you,
did it have nothing to do with me
and everything to do with
the dissatisfaction you’ve felt
since crossing some invisible,
unbearable line
into your middle years?

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