DeathWatch No. 118 – Please Don’t Do This

This is Issue #118 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

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* * *

Sha, Nathan, and Jules barely had time to look confused before the nearly-one-hundred surviving members of the Maxima moved as one. None of the soldiers flinched as they did as they were commanded — the only differences were the ‘how’. Knives went for hearts, throats, bellies, eyes.

Every.

Single.

Soldier.

Every last man and woman (and in some cases, cadets who were little more than children) who had been serving under Julianna Vernon O’Malley staggered and fell to the floor, bleeding.

For some it was nearly instant. Strong men could slice open their own throat, ear to ear, and bleed out in a matter of seconds.

The Ilonans, at first shocked, began to applaud. They cheered in their own tongue. Here was a spectacle worthy of their Prince, worthy of their having to deal with these wretched enemies being in their presence.

Gemma, half lost within the guards and crowd, grabbed Secta’s hand and squeezed it tightly.

He looked to her, raising a brow.

“There are ninety-four,” Gemma said quietly.

“You counted?” he wondered, giving her hand a gentle squeeze back.

“I felt them all,” she said. “It is as though I am cursed to know the Westlanders’ miseries,” she murmured. “As though their hearts can equal ours.”

“Be careful,” Secta said. “Our Guardian was once a Westlander.” His eyes wandered over the horrific scene, unflinching, seemingly unmoved.

“Once. But he’s died again and again and burned that part away,” Gemma said. “Now he’s ours. Only ours.”

Secta swallowed dryly; in his mind’s eye he could see the crimson water, taste the copper tang in the air, feel the dead weight of his master’s body in his arms. He shuddered, squeezing Gemma’s hand in his, and turned to watch the outsiders coming undone within their misery.

“No. No! NO!” Jules screamed, panicking, and ran for the closest one as he struggled to jam the knife into his own chest. She slipped in the blood of those who were already dead, and reached for the knife, fighting with the soldier. “No — stop! Stop this! No, NO!” Her voice was high; she could not contain her own distress, and she was desperate to save at least one life, stop at least one senseless death.

It was futile; no matter how she blocked him, he kept trying. “Pavel,” she pled, one hand grabbing for the knife, the other touching his cheek, turning his face to hers. “Don’t do this. Don’t let him do this to you — no no, stop, stop pozhaluysta, please please no, no,” she begged, her tongue slipping to Kriegic as she struggled. “You have a wife. You have a son. They love you, Pavel. They love you. Please don’t do this,” she said to him. For all her determination, however, Pavel was simply stronger. He finally wrested the knife from her and slashed it over his own throat, frantic. The spray of blood washed over Jules; she couldn’t even turn her face in time, and was bathed in it. He dropped the knife and collapsed in her arms as she put her hands over the wound, struggling, wild-eyed. She looked around at all the dead, all the dying — a quarter of the people in the room, while the rest knelt in terror, in blood, watching their comrades do the unspeakable, or stood close by, looking avidly fascinated, pleased even. She then looked back to Immanis in horror, and though she tried to speak, instead all that came was a rough keening noise, from somewhere low in her throat.

“This,” Immanis said triumphantly, his lips pulled back in a faint sneer. “This is what the Ilonans felt, while your ship sailed into the Valley. This is what mothers and fathers knew, as you rained fire down from the sky, over their farms, their families, their flesh. This is deploro.”

“I am almost sad my Mistress has missed this,” Gemma whispered to Secta as they remained watching from out of the way. “She enjoys watching the pain of those who have wrong us.”

“I am glad my Guardian is not here,” Secta said, frowning slightly. “I have a terrible feeling about what is to come.”

“Bastard!” came the cry from Sha’s left. She looked shocked, flinching, and turned to see Nate, seething.

“My prophecy has yet to unfold,” Gemma noted, looking at Nathan with worried eyes, watching him after his outburst.

“This is the act of a coward!” Nathan roared, rage and loss in his eyes. “This is the sick cruelty of a man punishing many for the actions of one. We tried to stop Abramov!” Nathan said, stalking toward Immanis, his hands curling into fists. “We blew up his fucking ship! We aren’t the ones who did this to your people!”

“Nate — no,” Sha began, reaching for him, her eyes widening. She tried to get a hand around his wrist, tried to stop him, tried to anything — she would have grabbed him by his dislocated shoulder, but guards grabbed her and pulled her back. She struggled with them, even as Nate stood before Immanis, his dark eyes raging. “Let go,” she hissed at them. “Let me stop him! Let me go!” One of them drove his fist into her stomach hard enough to make her bend double, gagging. She drew breath back in with a whoop and a cough, shook off one of the Ilonans, and landed a blow on the other that broke his nose.

Ilonans tried to draw nearer, to watch; wedding guests slowly closed in around the groupings of Centralites — Sha’s fistfight against the small group of guards piqued their interest. Several of them even began to place bets on whether she would best the guards.

Sha drove her heel down onto the instep of the one that went to grab her again, snarling. She finally stopped when a third guard fisted his fingers in her wild curls and pulled her head back to expose her throat. He held the point of a blade to it, and dug it against her voicebox, hissing quietly, “Be. Still.”

* * *

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DeathWatch No. 117 – Are They Loyal To You?

This is Issue #117 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

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* * *

“I am…” Sha paused, looked distinctly pained, and said, “…was Captain of the TS Jacob, your majesty,” Sha said quietly, looking Immanis Venator full in the face. She showed no fear, but wore respect for the man, without trembling from anything further than exhaustion. If she’d been any less composed, any less iron-willed, she might’ve wept — not out of fear, but exhaustion and loss. That ship was the last thing she’d had linking her to her father, and the coat that went down with it was the last thing of her brother’s. She felt more alone in this chamber of hundreds than she had in a long while.

“I was Quartermaster of the same, your majesty,” Nate supplied, following Sha’s example. His jaw was clenched, otherwise, but he kept himself from glaring; he knew damned well they were caught, and there was a high likelihood they weren’t getting out of this. At all.

“And I was Quartermaster of the Maxima, your majesty,” Jules said, her voice gone dull. She looked around for Coryphaeus, wondering if he’d changed, if he’d been invited to the royal wedding where she and her friends were being paraded in as a new set of slaves. She looked down at her feet for some time, but then looked up toward Immanis.

When she did, he responded to her statement, as though waiting for her to acknowledge him. “Ah, the Maxima,” Immanis said softly. “Your Captain attempted to murder me,” he said to her, his voice low, his eyes bright with something that nearly seemed like amusement. “He is dead now. My sister put an end to him, after his violent outburst.”

Jules said nothing in reply, but pressed her lips together until they were a hard line. She looked down, unwilling to meet the Prince’s eyes once more, once his attention was fully on her.

Immanis stepped down off the dais, and walked to stand next to Jules, looking out over the sea of soldiers. He was unwilling to be ignored. “Tell me, what is it that a Quartermaster does?”

“The captain runs the ship. The quartermaster runs the crew,” Jules explained, glancing from the Prince to the soldiers and cadets out on the marble floor. “It was my job to make sure the crew were well-suited to their tasks, got what they needed. I handled placement, sleeping, distribution of supplies,” she said quietly.

“Ship-mother to the soldiers?” Immanis purred.

“You could say that,” Jules said, her voice quieter. She grew more nervous, her heart in her throat; she didn’t like the way Immanis began to pace, stalking around her and looking her up and down. He had the air of a cat playing with its food.

“Are they loyal to you? As children are to their mothers?” Immanis wondered of her.

“Moreso, for some,” Jules said, trying to keep the pride from her voice. “We trust one another,” she said, and tried to leave it at that.

Immanis nodded, looking out over the people in the hall. “Tell your soldiers — those who survived the Maxima, those loyal to you, to rise,” he said.

Jules turned and let her eyes settle on the faces watching her, took a long, deep breath, and called out, “Maxima v’stante!” The sound of them all getting to their booted feet was a brief thunder in the hall.

The Ilonan guests of the wedding watched in awe and excitement; they had not had such a show as this in ages.

“Kriegic,” Immanis chuckled. “You’re a tiny thing for such an angry, ugly language.”

Jules didn’t know how to respond to that, and so she did not; she waited, looking out at the faces she’d known for years now, dirtied, bloodied, exhausted.

Immanis called out to his own soldiers and guards, and had them all walk amongst the crew who were standing.

Jules knew the word he used–knife–but no one was being harmed. Instead, each man and woman waiting down on the chamber floor was unbound, and given something. She couldn’t tell what it was until the Prince’s men left the floor.

Every soldier and cadet standing held a short, sharp knife.

“You know the Ilonan tongue, yes?” Immanis wondered of Jules, turning to look at her.

Jules found herself pinned by the dark eyes of the Ilonan Prince. Something about them was both enveloping and inflaming. She felt her cheeks flushed. “Yes,” she answered. “Yes, your Majesty.”

Immanis said, “What is ‘deploro‘ in your tongue, then?”

Sha watched, breathless, her heart in her throat. It wasn’t like Jules to be docile. Where was the spitfire screamer who wanted to flay the Ilonans alive? Where was her fury?

“Helpless,” Jules said, strangely captivated by Immanis’s gaze. “To be… to be helpless.”

“You do an injustice to the tongue,” Immanis said, stepping close to her. “It is not merely to be helpless. It is to wail, bitterly.” He reached a hand and touched her cheek, gently.

Sha was stunned at the gesture. She trembled as she stood at the foot of the dais, watching Immanis next to Jules, watching his fingertips touch her.

Nathan looked ready to vomit. He clenched his fists and his jaw and struggled to remain still, breathing steadily through his mouth.

Still, Immanis kept talking quietly. “To weep in anguish. To be consumed in grief, while unable to change the situation. You currently feel helpless, do you not?”

Jules was silent, but gave the most subtle nod, fear shining in her eyes.

He nodded to her, approval and praise on his features, as though he loved Jules for that admission. He turned to look toward the sea of soldiers and cadets. “Maxima ubitsebya!” he commanded them, smiling grimly. The Kriegic word was not known to everyone listening, but its command was understood by those that mattered.

It was certainly known to Jules.

Her eyes widened, and the world felt as though it were in slow motion as she turned to look at Immanis, her expression all shock and horror.

Kill yourselves.

* * *

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Someday.

Occasionally
he sees how the cycle could end.
He thinks of all the ways it might work:

A gun to his head.
A tire iron to hers.

He imagines what it would be like
to be free:

What joy he would taste.
Nothing at all but blood

as he drops to the ground,
boneless and gone
before his eyes even shut.

Maybe it will be wonderful.
Maybe it will be nothing.

For now,
all he does is dream of the day something changes;
for there to be a promise of better than this.
Until then,

he courts the razors
and the bullets.

He talks sweetly to the poisons
and he kisses the dangerous ones
who could take all his choices away from him,
if it came to that.

He knows this too shall pass.

He thinks to himself
‘Someday.’

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Jagged Edges

Believe me,
no one wants more than I
to feel your lips
on mine again.
Believe me,
there is nothing
I could even hope for,
nothing else I could want.
I live and breathe
and ache for you.
I submit to you.
I reach for you.
You are not there.
You’ll never be there again.
I’m alone in ways
I did not know
existed.
If there were
a way for me to
come back to you,
to slip under your skin
but feel you inside me all the same,
I would have done it
a hundred thousand times before now.
Believe me.
It is over.
Believe me.
It is no more.
Believe me.
It is lost.

Believe me — so am I.

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DeathWatch No. 116 – You Are Far From Abandoned

This is Issue #116 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *
Immanis’s eyes fluttered shut, and he leaned back against Jet, briefly, a low, pleased laugh in his throat. He turned to breathe in the scent of his chosen brother, sighing just loudly enough that only Jet could hear. “Oh, perfection, my Black Stone,” he purred. “Go. Go and deliver unto my sister the wedding night of her dreams,” he murmured. “Give to her what I know no one else can,” he said quietly. “I will examine these precious gifts to decide who will become prey and who will become prisoner, and who will become the briefest flash of entertainment. I must of course show gratitude to all the wedding guests who remain to keep me company while my most favorite people abandon me,” he chuckled.

“You are far from abandoned,” Jet murmured quietly. “But do you not wish me to wait here with you, while you choose your toys?” He turned his painted face out toward the audience chamber, where he remembered kneeling before Immanis so long ago, watching Eisen’s blood spill. He looked out over the sea of faces, watched their expressions shift from exhaustion to fear to fury and back to fear as they stood, hungry, miserable, wounded, waiting, not knowing their fate. Some of them looked up. Some of them were either too afraid, angry, or exhausted to do so. He could not find it in himself to see their humanity; to him, they were beasts of the vilest sort — supplicants to some awful death-machine that fed on the destruction of innocent lives.

Those soldiers destroyed thousands of civilians, and he felt no regret in giving them to his Prince.

They were soldiers — they would pay the price for their part in the slaughter.

“Go,” Immanis said, his voice low yet urgent. “My resolve to send you along cannot possibly last. This gift is far greater than you know. I must savor it while you are away from me,” he murmured, and he laid his bare hand against Jet’s wrist.

The sudden humanness of the contact made Jet’s cheeks burn beneath the facepaint. He shivered, staring to Immanis, silent but yearning.

“My Prince,” Jet said just as softly, obeying as he chose to.

Immanis glanced over at Jet and nodded to him; what was left unspoken hung between them heavily, leaving a not-unpleasant ache that settled low in Jet’s belly as he turned away, and moved to take Lucida’s hand.

Lucida curled her fingers in his, coquettishly batting her long, dark lashes. She laughed aloud at Jet’s raised brows, saying, “Come and away with me, caro. It is time you and I had nothing to focus on but one another.”

Both Secta and Gemma watched the two of them with nothing short of pure adulation, staying near to one another as though in comfort.

Lucida and Jet looked out over the sea of wedding guests and their offering to Immanis, smiling. Lucida could see the whites of Jet’s eyes past his painted mask; she wanted little more than to take it off him, and see how he had handled the exhausting day of pomp and ceremony. She gave his hand a squeeze, and smiled a real smile, only for him.

The multitudes of Ilonans cheered for both Lucida and Jet as they strode down from the dais and out of the room, through the throng of prisoners who were made to kneel and press their foreheads to the floor, hands bound behind their backs. Each step they took echoed against the mosaic stone floor, and the resultant outcry of love and celebration filled the hall, reverberating against the stone

Though neither of them knew it, when Lucida’s trailing skirts brushed past the branded shoulder of a kneeling soldier, it was the closest Jet had been to Kieron in over a year.

Jet didn’t look down, and Kieron did not look up, and once again, they were apart.

* * *

“Centralites and other citizens of the Allied territories!” one of the criers called. “Lift your heads and look upon him, Prince of Ilona. He is ruler of the free lands, and father to all the child-countries you call home. He is Immanis Venator.”

The remaining crew of the Jacob and the Maxima looked toward Immanis, lifting their heads from the floor. They remained kneeling, sitting back on their heels. They all stared up toward the dais, toward the man in body paint, tattoos, knives, and fine silks.

“Who speaks for you?” Immanis wondered of the group. “Where are your leaders?” His voice was low but loud, powerful and yet somehow oddly, smooth, like a strange honey that sweetened his words, even as they were threatening.

Sha sighed, clearing her throat, and carefully moved to stand. Nate did as well, as did Jules.

Kieron watched them, trembling, and swallowed roughly, wincing when any movement pulled at his stitches. He turned, looking toward the door where the Guardian and the Princess had left, feeling his heart in his throat. He had nearly cried out when the train of her wedding gown slid against his wounds, and now his mouth was full of blood for how he’d bitten his tongue to silence himself. He swallowed it back with a grimace, and turned back to see what was happening at the dais.

“Come and stand before me,” Immanis directed, gesturing to the foot of the dais. He stood, magnificent before them, all radiant presence and determined power. Up on the dais, he was taller than everyone, even in his bare feet.

Sha walked slowly, carefully, picking her way past the kneeling bodies of her crewmembers. Now and then, she let her fingers trail over someone’ shoulder, someone’s neck. We’ll be all right. This we’ll be fine. We’ll get out of this one; we’ve been in worse scrapes. It’ll all be okay.”

Nate and Jules joined her, without hesitation, standing shoulder to shoulder with her, their chins high, eyes focused.

“One ship. Three captains?” Immanis wondered of them, one brow raising, an almost smug look on his face.

* * *

NEXT

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