DeathWatch No. 68 – This Makes Us Warmer

This is Issue #68 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

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* * *

Nathan led Kieron belowdecks, and helped to guide the shivering young man into his own quarters. He latched the door to keep it from flying open while the ship continued to rock and sway, buffeted by the storm, and sat Kieron on a stool. Then he began removing his clothes. First, the coat came off, and hung from a peg. Next, each boot, then the socks, then sword and gun belt, next was his vest, and his overshirt. As nimble fingers began to undo the laces on his breeches, he looked up at Kieron and said, “What are you waiting for?”

Kieron hugged himself, teeth chattering as he perched on the stool. He stared at Nate with huge, pale eyes for awhile as the man disrobed, and precisely as Nathan asked him what he was waiting for, blurted out, “What are you doing?”

“Trying to not freeze, which you should join me in. Take off all the wet things. Hang them to dry,” Nate explained.

“I don’t keep my spares in your footlocker, Nate,” Kieron said blankly.

“You’re getting into bed, Brody. As am I. The sooner the better,” Nate said, peeling off his undershirt, revealing pale skin striated with numerous scars, indelibly marked with a score or more of tattoos. He shucked off his breeches and smallclothes and barked, “Out of your things, cadet! We’re at ten thousand and holding through a storm so we evade enemy detection. It’s not getting any fucking warmer!”

Kieron began to peel out of his uniform coat, numb fingers fumbling with brass buttons, but stared at Nathan for a long moment. He could see the man’s younger face, his rage and despair. It overlaid the present face, blurring out a scar or two, a wrinkle here and there, but the agony behind his eyes remained the same. He still carried that horror with him, so many years later. That, or he’d seen so much of it recently that it hardly mattered. His face was a mask that misery wore, and Kieron felt his heart tighten, and try to break.

Nathan noticed Kieron had stopped, and his expression grew concerned. He waved a hand in front of Kieron’s face. He snapped his fingers, frowning as he asked, “Hey. You’re not… you’re not going again, are you?”

“Slipping,” Kieron said, leaning back from the waving hand. “I call it slipping. And no. But I did. Earlier. A lot. I saw…” He stared at Nathan, pained, and the words wouldn’t come. Finally, he finished lamely, “I saw a lot.”

“Did you see me?” Nathan wondered bluntly.

“I–” Kieron’s expression grew briefly panicked, and he bowed his head and busied himself with undressing.

“Forget it,” Nathan said. “I shouldn’t’ve asked.”

Kieron was desperately glad Nathan dropped the conversation; he was soon down to nothing but his shivering skin — he jumped when Nathan took him by the wrist and pulled him into the cot, under several blankets.

“C’mon,” the Quartermaster said gruffly. “Sha’n’Jules are doing the same. As is anyone caught out in that downpour. This is the only way to get warm enough again before you’re in danger of losing hands and feet. You got nice hands. Be a shame to have to use stumps for anything fun, eh?”

Kieron squirmed under the covers, attempting to not touch Nathan, and cried out aloud, freezing as Nathan’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. “Oh–” he breathed, hissing air between his teeth. “I don’t–I’m not–”

“Brody,” Nathan sighed, raking long wet hair back from his face. “We’re cold. This makes us warmer. Get over yourself and curl up.”

Kieron closed his eyes and breathed in and out, trying to quell the trembling in his limbs. He edged closer to Nathan, almost wincing each time he felt the older man shift.

Nathan laid his long limbs against Kieron’s, and each of them hissed in turn at discovering which had colder feet–Kieron–and which had colder thighs–Nathan–as they settled in. Nathan held him firmly, his front to Kieron’s back, his arms wrapped around Kieron’s shoulders, his face tucked near Kieron’s neck.

Kieron tried not to tense as he felt Nathan’s warm breath on his skin; his own broke out in gooseflesh — his teeth chattered as he blurted out, “Y-you d-did the right th-thing.”

“What?” Nathan said, pulling the blankets closer, wrapping them both from head to toe in several layers of wool and quilted cotton.

“When you k-killed — you killed the man who killed the s-stowaways,” Kieron whispered. “That’s wh-what I saw. I saw you d-do that. I didn’t see how you die.” I don’t want to see that. I could go my whole life and never see that. I hope I never see that.

Nathan grunted, saying, “Got myself court-martialed for that. Sorry you had to watch.”

“He wasn’t sorry,” Kieron said.

“I was your age,” Nathan said lowly, “and I threw up for days, thinking about it.”

There was a long pause then, and Kieron felt the stirrings of warmth between them, finally, and realized his teeth had stopped chattering. “He was sick, and he would’ve done worse if you left him alive,” Kieron said, feeling as though Nathan deserved some sort of reassurance that he was not simply a murderer.

“Get some sleep,” Nathan said, after awhile.

Kieron thought to himself there was no way he’d ever get rest, curled up like that, naked and still wet, his back pressed to the stomach of his superior officer. It was all he could do to stay still; his muscles were quivering in chill and exhaustion, but his mind was racing, and he wondered if Nate could hear his heart as it thundered, nearly in his throat. He opened his eyes and focused on how he could see Nathan’s forearm laid against him, and he closed his eyes again, wondering what the tattoos meant.

He also wondered if Nathan had meant to lay his lips against Kieron’s skin in an unbroken kiss, or if the man had simply fallen asleep that way — but he fell asleep himself, before he could wonder too long.

* * *

NEXT

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Purely of Joy

Burn me;
put your hands on my skin
and blacken me.
Sear the imperfection out of me
until you’ve glassed me,
left me as bone and char
and shining surface to be admired,
to be feared,
to be lusted after.
Burn me alive;
I’m begging you for it.
Do it, and know my screams
are purely of joy.

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Hungry Work

She wears a crown of
customizable thorns,
it fits beneath her
shining halo.
Artfully applied mud
conceals blemishes,
but otherwise shows off
the radiance of her skin.
Whitened teeth
are sharpened,
all the better to
eat you, my dear;
being a martyr
is hungry work.

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Marked

Sometimes
it won’t come.
Sometimes it’s as easy
as sitting down
and everything spills out.
Sometimes
it’s like drawing blood
from a dry vein.
Searching for it
collapses what might’ve been useful,
and then it spills,
but it spills
in the wrong place,
and it can’t be used.
A bruise of words,
clotting up internally,
leaving me
the only thing marked
by something I feel
should mark the world.

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DeathWatch No. 67 – Before They Slipped Over The Edge

This is Issue #67 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

He came to, writhing, rising, shifting, and began to scream as he twisted, his back arching up off the cot.

“Hold him! HOLD HIM!” The Captain’s voice was sharp and furious.

The ship pitched and rolled, and those standing around him struggled to stay upright and still. Outside, lightning sizzled and arced too close for comfort, and thunder crashed loud enough to deafen everyone.

But then Kieron’s cries were louder.

“Get it off! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF OF ME!” he shrieked, sweat pasting his hair to his forehead and cheeks. His skin shimmered silverblue from the aetheris dust that had washed over him when the Maxima exploded for the final time. “GET IT OFF!” He thrashed like a madman, squirming so violently, there was a sucking pop, and the surgeon cursed as Kieron’s left shoulder went out of joint. He leaned down and jabbed a needle into the muscle of his arm, and once the light had gone out in Kieron’s eyes, he reset it.

There was silence, save for the hum of the engines, and the panting of the four who were working to keep Kieron still — each time he roused, he fought and screamed, thrashing and pleading. Ropes hadn’t held; they’d come back to find him chewing through them, lips and tongue bleeding, his eyes rolling, froth at the corners of his mouth.

Aside from shouting orders, Sha said nothing. She stared at Kieron in sadness and fear — this was the way her brother had become, for spells, and in the very end.

Jules stood near her, one arm around the Captain of the TS Jacob, the other occasionally reaching for Nate.

For his part, Nathan Einin O’Malley paced up and down the small med room, until he finally knelt beside Kieron and began to pull off his uniform.

“…Nate?” Jules said, startled into breaking the silence.

“Get it off–” Nate said. “That’s what he’s screaming. Don’t know what it is, but he needs it off. Maybe he got hit by something and we’re not seeing it,” Nathan said, undoing the buttons of his shirt, exposing the young man’s chest. “What–” He stopped, staring, and looked between Kieron’s face, and his chest. Once more, his face, then his chest. “He’s… shining.”

“S’the aetheris dust, from the explosion,” Jules said. “It’s on all of us. Whole deck would’ve been covered, but the storm’s washing it clean.”

“But look at it,” Nathan whispered, leaning in, his eyes watching Kieron’s face and hands. “It’s… do you see?”

“Ohgod,” Jules said, and then turned away, turning green.

“What th–” Sha began, looking first at Jules, then at Nathan, and finally at Kieron. “It’s… moving. It’s moving?”

Jules reached out to touch Kieron, then, to put her fingers against the dust but found her hand caught.

Kieron reached out, seizing it, and cried out, “He knew.”

“What?” Jules looked shocked, and Nate tried to undo Kieron’s fingers from Jules’s wrist.

“Your Dedy knew,” Kieron said, shaking his head, leaning in, his rough whisper only for Jules’s ears. “He loved you, little Yana,” he said, and his hand tightened enough that Jules pulled — and Kieron sat up, still holding onto her.

Jules looked panicked and pleased all at once, staring at Kieron in wonder.

Another lightning strike, another crash of thunder, and Kieron released Jules and turned to look at Nate, panting. “Help me,” he begged, his eyes wild, his body shaking. “Nate, you gotta help–” His head snapped back, and he howled again, and reached to claw at his own skin, screaming.

Always one to move quickly, Nathan threw caution to the wind, picked Kieron up in his arms, and ran for the door.

“–the fuck?” Sha said, getting up to follow after him. “Nate? Where are you going?”

“It’s the aetheris!” he called, already halfway up the stairs. “Don’t have enough grey water to wash it off him, but there’s plenty in the storm!”

For a moment or two, neither woman got up, until another rolling crash of thunder made each of them freeze. Suddenly they both moved as one, a desperate knowing on each of their faces.

“Nate!” Jules cried. “Nathan!”

“You fucking idiot!” Sha called. “The lightning! The engines and barrels are shielded — you’ll get struck!”

Nathan burst out onto the deck and ran for the rail; he wouldn’t jump over, this time, but because of the rigging and the balloon’s main envelope, the rain came down in sheets from it; he figured he wouldn’t have any trouble rinsing the dust from Kieron’s skin.

All the while, Kieron screamed, thrashing in Nate’s arms, flailing until he was held under the downpour.

Nate stood back from the line of water, so he could see what he was doing; he didn’t want to drown the boy. He held him still, and the water sluiced the brilliant glimmering from Kieron’s skin, leaving him pale and soaked. It splashed over Nathan’s hands and arms, but left him otherwise nearly dry, and shimmering in his own right.

Kieron shuddered as he came back to himself, and stood on fawn-weak legs, panting, sagged against the railing, looking at Nathan with gratitude.

Lightning flashed around them, hitting the balloon and dissipating over the chains, striking again and again; each time, the chains lit up ghostly blue, throbbed once, twice, and then came the strike.

When Jules and Sha spilled out onto the deck, they saw the ghostly halo surround Nathan; the dust on his body lit up and shimmered. The light that seemed to nearly come from within him pulsed once–

–Kieron’s eyes grew huge and his hands shot out; he seized hold of Nate’s coat and hauled him against his body, throwing them both to the railing. Nate’s eyes widened as he saw his horizon begin to tumble. For a moment, they balanced precariously on the slick oaken surface, with Nate’s hips laid to Kieron’s. Rain washed the glimmering dust away, pouring over them both; the pulse of it stopped like a fire going out, and the strike that had been imminent sought a different point of dissipation.

Before they slipped over the edge, Nathan hooked one booted foot around a baluster, and clung to Kieron, pressing his cheek against the young man’s as he desperately tried to catch his breath.

For long moments, they hung there, even as Jules and Sha joined them, rushing to put themselves under the downpour, to rinse off the remnants of the shimmering blue.

Eventually, Nathan pulled them back over the edge, and held Kieron up, clapping him on the back. “Hey, hey!” Nathan shouted. “Brody! Are you with me?”

“M’with you, Quartermaster,” Kieron said, sagging against Nate, panting and nodding. “M’with you.”

Nate’s fingertips were feverhot against Kieron’s cheek as the older man turned the younger’s face toward his, searching his expression, eyes meeting eyes. Nate shouted to keep his voice above the thundering storm as he patted Kieron’s cheek and said, “See that you stay that way.” He shouted over his shoulder to Sha, calling, “Captain! See that you return my wife in one piece, in working order!”

“If you’re lucky!” Sha cried back, leaning into Jules as much as Jules was leaned into her.

The two women staggered below decks, followed by the two men, in search of someplace warm and dry.

* * *

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