DeathWatch No. 150 – You’ll Just Let It Happen

This is Issue #150 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘DeathWatch’ then go to ‘#0 – A Beginning’ and read from there, or go find the issue # you remember, and catch up from there!

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

Jules stared down Gemma, tightening her jaw, hissing, “Let me out of here, and I’ll tell you wh–”

Prophetia obligat, sicut voluisti, ut esset,” Gemma whispered, her face gray.

“Prophecy binds, as it is willed, as it must?” Jules said, looking baffled.

Gemma nodded, saying, “You do not know what will happen, if you change prophecy. Do your actions create it? Do they make it worse?”

Blanching, Jules shook her head. “No. No, fuck that,” she hisses. Fortified with her own unique mix of horror and need, Jules said, “Let me out of here, or I’ll make it the rest of my short and miserable life’s work to ruin everything you love.”

“I can’t help you.” Gemma’s voice cracked as she shrugged. “Tell her, or don’t tell her. If you saw her die soon, I cannot save her. And if I try to, I may make it worse. Prolong her s-suffering.” Gemma’s hands whiteknuckled as she struggled to master the panic that threatened to overwhelm.

“You really mean that,” Jules whispered, taking a step back from Gemma, looking worried. “You’ll just let it happen.”

“Fate is fate,” Gemma said. “This gift is not without its sacrifice. I just thought–” Her voice broke as she ground out the words, “I just thought I’d have more time.”

Lucida interrupted without knowing when she returned, looking determined. “It is done. They’ve gone to the grounds. The viewing will begin. He has gathered those who will watch in Immanis’s study. We will go there, now.”

Jules stared at Gemma, then at Lucida, then shook her head, clenching and flexing her fists. “No,” she said, turning, bolting for the windows. She’d gotten only four steps away when she felt her legs go numb. The small of her back burned as she looked down, feeling her knees buckle. Her tongue felt heavy, and she tried to speak, but then her bones were liquid, and she dropped to the floor. A dark patch pooled under her thighs as she spasmed on the rug, her teeth clenching together. The smell of ammonia warred with the perfume-heavy scent of the room itself, and Jules was dimly aware she’d pissed herself. In the back of her mind, she wondered if this was another awful vision, but then a foot turned her over roughly.

Lucida stood over her, holding an aetheric taser, looking angry and bored all at once. “I tire of your antics, little Krieg. You throw punches at the world around you but you are fighting no one. You are wasting time and energy. You are here now. This is where you belong. I own you. You are mine.”

Skrimsli,” Jules gasped, panting. “I belong to no one.” Her hands twitched and grasped at the floor as she struggled to roll herself over and push herself up, coughing, struggling to gain control over her body again, the simplest of movements. Hand to floor, push. Lift. Harder.

“Get a collar, Gemma,” Lucida said, tears in her eyes. “It’s time to go watch. I hope he gets every one of those ilegi Westlander spumae before it’s over.” When Jules finally got herself rolled back over to her belly, Lucida brought the taser down on Jules’s spine, between her shoulder blades, touching lightly.

Jules’s eyes rolled back up into her head. She hit the floor again, her teeth clacking together hard enough the click was audible to Gemma, in the next room. She uttered low animal noises as the taser’s charge made her muscles spasm, made her body buck against the floor. Grunting, gasping, Jules writhed under the taser as it pinned her to the floor, like a butterfly on black velvet.

She could taste smoke. She could taste blood.

Everything looked black.

Lucida watched as the contacts of the taser burned into Jules’s flesh; she carefully lifted the instrument and let Jules go still for a moment, shuddering. She brought it back down and watched Jules’s entire body tense up again. She slowly left a long trail of burned circles down either side of Jules’s spine, scarring her bit by bit, touching her only briefly — but still, the device left red weals as it moved down her back. The muscles in Jules’s back tensed and quivered; the striations of them could be seen beneath her pale flesh, beneath the navy lines of the tattoos her body bore beneath the constellations of her freckles.

Jules moaned lowly, And struggled for breath.

Lucida examined her, knelt down next to Jules as she tortured her with the device, and let her dark eyes wander over Jules’s naked skin, briefly enchanted with the woman’s exposed body.

Until she pulled the taser free one last time, and brought it back to Jules’s skin.

And didn’t lift it up again.

In that instant, Jules contorted — her jaw locked open after the fourth set of burns; a low cry began in her throat and crawled upward, louder and louder. Her eyes rolled back, and her feet began to drum the carpeted floor. She retched, gagging, wrung out like an ill-used washrag, and the rictus grin of her jaw tightened, teeth clenching harder, and harder.

Gemma returned with the collar, then, and stared down at the way Jules seemed wound tighter and tighter, and tighter still, because of Lucida’s torment.

Lucida didn’t seem to notice Gemma; she held the taser down until the aetheric charge was used up, until the stick no longer lit up, sparking against Jules’s back. When she finally pulled the thing away, it smoked, dripping black with burnt blood. Jules’s skin was blackened as well, smoking in the cup of her lower back; blood welled up there, pooled as Jules remained on the floor, trembling, drooling blood from having bitten her tongue, her eyes wide and glassy. Tears ran unchecked down her cheeks, dripping to the carpet. Her skin fairly glowed; the tattoos shimmered, while her sweat writhed and danced, glimmering in faint patterns all over her skin.

“Put the collar on it. It can be brought in and chained in front of the grouping,” Lucida said, her voice low, toneless as she looked down at Jules’s skin, staring at the strange silverblue patterns, wondering if they were real, or if, in her grief, she was imagining things. “Perhaps they’ll be entertained by its pain.”

“Yes, Lucibella,” Gemma whispered, eager to please, to have Lucy’s misery abated, even if it was only in fury, in distraction. She darted forward, scuffing over the thick carpet, and leaned in, moving to put the collar around Jules’s throat. The instant she touched Jules’s pale skin, there was a flash, a sudden throbbing blast of light, and a crackling peal of thunder.

Lucida staggered back with a cry, dropping the taser, her heart in pieces–

–Gemma lay motionless on the floor.

* * *

NEXT

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100 Words: Reach/Drown

I realize you’re drowning.
Should I just
stand by the river
and watch
as you go below?
I can’t not
plunge in up to my elbows
and pull you back out,
pull you above,
give you breath.
Open your eyes,
won’t you?
Look at the sun, and breathe.
I see you
in a river
of your own making,
all the tears you never cried,
drowning instead
in bottle after bottle.
You don’t even know
when I’m talking about you,
but I want to put my lips on yours —
not to kiss you,
but to drink away
the silence of you

Posted in Love Poems, On Depression, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

DeathWatch No. 149 – These Are Not Secrets

This is Issue #149 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘DeathWatch’ then go to ‘#0 – A Beginning’ and read from there, or go find the issue # you remember, and catch up from there!

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

“Their twelve hours is nearly up,” Jet said, standing at the window, staring out at the clouds on the horizon. His shoulders were tense; he turned, looking back to Immanis, and said, “You’re not yet dressed.”

“Excited are you, my love?” the Prince wondered of his Guardian.

“My heart is racing as I think of it. I feel a fire within me, my Prince,” Jet said quietly, turning to pace within the room. “I can’t explain it — I simply must begin. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

“And yet, you will,” Immanis said, catching him by the wrist. “My Jet, my black stone, my Guardian,” he purred.

Jet didn’t pull away, but instead leaned in closer, once Immanis had him caught. “You provoke me,” he said quietly, his golden eyes warning.

“That I do,” Immanis laughed, and pressed himself against Jet, kissing him warmly.

The hunt would wait; the air would be properly scented with fear.

* * *

Garrett dropped down into the walled garden just as the first fat drops of rain began to fall on the canopy. His breath left him in a brief ‘whuff’ and then he darted off as the clouds thickened overhead, hurrying as fast as he was able, toward the last place he’d remembered seeing Kieron.

All over the city, a clamor rose — no one had ever attempted to get in to The Hunt, before.

* * *

“Majesty?” Secta said, pulling the window coverings aside, letting in the pale grey light of the rainsoaked afternoon. “Master?” He lit lamps, and uncovered dishes of food. “It is time to–” He gave an undignified squawk and fell to the carpet, gasping.

Immanis growled lowly, releasing Secta’s ankle, and shifted to loom over him. “Tace,” he hissed sleepily. “I’ll remove your pretty head from your shoulders, boy. Your master is busy resting.”

“I am awake,” Jet said, rolling away from Immanis, moving to stand and stretch. He carefully worked out the soreness of his muscles, cracking his neck and back, popping his joints and groaning lowly as he eked out the last of the tension in his frame.

Immanis watched him with unreserved hunger, dark eyes lingering on the Guardian, bearing both love and desire.

“And I’ll thank you not to threaten my famulo. He has worked desperately hard to achieve my approval, my brother, and I am more pleased with him than I have been of any servant. He is all I could have asked for in a loyal subject,” he said, reaching to cup Secta’s cheek in his hand. He leaned in and kissed Secta, unabashedly pressing his lips to Secta’s cheek with a loud smack, and then released him.

Blushing hotly, Secta said, “There is food. And… your clothing has been laid out. The weapons you selected earlier will be waiting for you at your entrance to the gardens I have been asked to inform you by the guards of the hunting grounds that an unidentified man has gained entrance–”

“Let me see–” Jet said. “We’ve video of the place, yes?” he wondered, reaching to pull back the folding doors for the nearest console, reaching to power it on.

Immanis crossed the room swiftly, slapping the doors shut — Jet had to pull his hands back to keep them from being crushed. “Immanis!” he cried, looking startled. “What are you–”

“There will be no cheating,” the Prince hissed. “I won’t even have the barest suspicion of it.”

“…what are you talking about?” Jet said, looking baffled.

“If you see video of the man, or video of any of the places in the Hunting Grounds,” Secta murmured, “You may gain an unfair advantage over those you see in the pictures. You must go into the hunt without any knowledge. In truth, some previous game have waited by the Prince’s entrance, their weapons at the ready. And still our beloved Prince has never been bested.”

“We do not get any warning. They have the best chance they can to beat us. Besides, it does not matter if anyone has let himself in,” Immanis said, reaching to catch up Jet’s hand, to carefully curl his fingers around those of his lover. “He will be ours to hunt, as any of the others are. We’ll have nearly two dozen between us. Criminals who have been waiting for execution. The Legatus. The Westlanders,” he said, a smile curving his lips, hungry, predatory.

“What are we waiting for?” Jet said, smiling himself, showing white, sharp teeth.

* * *

“Now what are you giving her?” Lucida’s voice was all curiosity; she hovered over Gemma as the woman carefully administered a tonic to Jules, who laid weak and still in the tiled bathroom.

“Something to revive her. She’s purged many times; the seeds should be gone by now — blood is coming. She is weak. If she does not stop soon,” Gemma said, pursing her lips and frowning, “she will be of no use to your husband.”

“It is not my husband who forced her discovery by poisoning her,” Lucida said, drawing back and chewing her lower lip.

Gemma pressed her lips into a thin line. She looked pained as she glanced over her shoulder, saying, “You believe me, don’t you? I kn–”

“I do,” Lucida said softly. “But I do not believe my caro will care one shred for this milkskin even if what you say of Immanis is true.”

“Her visions will help him believe in mine,” Gemma said, her dark eyes shining fiercely. “I want to serve my Guardian, meabella. I need to. He is Ilona’s true light. He will bring about its glory,” Gemma said, turning to look at Lucida, and for a moment, her expression softened. She stood up and stepped away from Jules, moving to clasp Lucida’s hands. She reached to stroke Lucy’s cheek, saying, “You haven’t slept. Oh, my love, you look so worried.”

“How could I not be!” Lucida cried. “Gemma, Immanis is g–”

“No!” Gemma hissed, looking around wildly. “No, you cannot say it. Not aloud. You cannot speak the prophecy where he could hear you. It could change things.”

“I want them to change!” Lucida said, her dark eyes wide, pleading. “Ilona is not ready to lose him,” she said, curling her hands into fists, looking afraid, looking furious. “I am not ready to lose him!”

“Can’t lose him,” echoed a voice from the floor.

Gemma stopped trying to hold Lucida, who pulled away, clearly upset, unable to be comforted.

The redhead put her hands against the tile floor and moved to push herself up, gagging briefly. “I can’t lose him,” she slurred, moving to push, to try to stand up. She stared at Lucida, her eyes glassy. “Ilonan suka,” she hissed. “Pulled off my robe. Ya …nenavizhu tebya,” she grimaced, glaring at Lucida.

Odio,” Lucida returned mildly, actually seeming to have none of the hate that Jules wore. “Who can’t you lose, my canicula Krieg?”

Jules got quiet, then, refusing to give more information. She looked around, and down at her nakedness, and crossed her arms over her chest, determined to show no weakness.

Just then, there was a knock at the outer door; Lucida went to pass, to answer it — Gemma stood in her way, saying, “Let me, Lucibel–” but Lucy shrugged off her touch and shook her head, slipping by.

Once she’d left the room, Jules snarked, “Trouble in paradise?”

“You know all of nothing,” Gemma hissed.

“I know you’re a handmaiden. I know you have visions like I do,” Jules said, looking around the room, looking for a way out. Coryphaeus had been taken by the Prince — she wasn’t sure he would be able to help anyone, no matter his promises. She was growing desperate, and desperation was a much more efficient mother of invention than necessity ever was.

“These are not secrets,” Gemma said, rolling her eyes.

“Fine,” Jules said, gritting her teeth, her eyes fierce as they narrowed. She didn’t want to stay stuck here — she had to get out. Find the hunt. “I know you’re lovers,” Jules said, and relished the look of surprise on Gemma’s face. Throughout the war, even after the attacks, even after making her watch her men die, Jules wouldn’t have considered herself an especially vicious person, but there was satisfaction in her heart as she watched the light in Gemma’s eyes dim with pain and tears, as she hissed, “And I know she dies inside the year.”

* * *

NEXT

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Blessing

You have mine. 

I give it freely. Take her 

in your arms and love her as I couldn’t. Put your ring on her. 

Claim her. Own her. Make her yours as I couldn’t. 

Brand her. Mark her. 

Stain her in a way that changes her. I could never and never will. Perhaps you love her 

more than I. Perhaps that is what love is, to make a mark, 

to leave a way of telling, showing, having. 

Instead, I will love her in my way, in my own way, 

far from her, 

imperfectly, as I am. 

As she is. 

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Fury

The moment
–over and gone
the thing that was perfect
–ruined forever, in too-tight fists

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