Visions of Leni

I believed him, when he said he wouldn’t just kill her. I believed him, when he said he’d make it worse than that. For all the lies I’d caught him in, for all the betrayals, this wasn’t something I was going to push my luck on. I only had a few hours to get back to him with the drop, and while I could’ve taken forever to plan the perfect heist, he wasn’t going to wait a minute longer than he’d given me. She’d be tortured and left for me to find, piece by piece. All the while, she’d be knowing I failed her, and her last moments would be agony and despair.

I knew this, and I knew it with a chilling precision, with an unerring detail for one perfect, awful reason:

It wasn’t the first time he’d done it —

(visions of Leni, broken and bleeding, filled my meditation hours; her face could never wear accusations, but all the same, I knew this would be my fault)

— and if we didn’t catch him, it wouldn’t be the last.

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Nothing Like

I am nothing like
the tiny slip of a thing you have now.
I am nothing like
the babysmell of soft curls she bore you.
I am nothing like
the delicate ones
you saved and cradled.
I was strong before you.
And then you broke me.
I am strong again without you.
You shattered me.
I am reforged.
You cannot break me again.
I will bite deep into you,
peel back your skin,
bare your heart,
carve you up.
I will scatter you
to the four winds,
and you will never be whole again.

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Haiku For You

Freezing dark water
from icy heavens, heavy:
tears of the Fallen.

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You Were The Best

I want to remember
the before time,
when I had wings,

when I flew,
when I was higher
than the clouds.
When I was
the color of space,
and the stars were my eyes.

I want to remember
when I created fire,
and when I breathed light.
I want to remember
before you,

before you rose higher
than any other,
and then fell.
You were the best
at everything —

you were even the best
at ruining everything.

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Cold Goodbye

The knifesharp
of a cold goodbye
is more than just a stabbing,
a flutterdown slice
to separate breath
from bone.
My safeword
is hidden
from you;
I have decided to keep it
for myself,
which means
I alone
hold both the shackles,
and their key.

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