Tag Archives: depression
black dog
Clawing and wishing I could hold on wishing there were some other way to make sense of the things around me that didn’t involve putting them in my mouth. Feeling like a less-than-toddler at being able to cope, feeling like … Continue reading
Motherland II
Look out the windows at the shining days, the caught-ups, the ones who blithely move through life with an assurance of peace, and a blindness to the voracity of despair. Remember yet again that to resist, to strive against the … Continue reading
Inevitable
Somewhere in me, a great ocean has iced over. The ice itself is brittle, and if pressed, a great tide of tears will rush forth. It threatens to drown all who are near. I will not cry, I promise them. … Continue reading
Honesty
I am terrible at promises. I am a liar and a fool. I am weak and I am maddening. I am fearful and I am broken. I am hopeless and I am miserable. I think of myself as unloved, unlovable, … Continue reading
After I Drowned
When I came back up I was dead. I’m still dead. I’m not here. My eyes are water blue, and my lungs are full of salt. I want to burn something into my skin to prove I exist. I want … Continue reading