What do you feel
when I’m in you?
When I’m fucking you
and you’re spread for me,
when you’re howling my name
and I have you pinned
like some perfect butterfly,
impaled by me,
held against the velvet coverlet.
Do you try to hold your breath,
or are those sounds
the unraveling of screams
bitten and strained
through clenched teeth?
When you are all mine,
do the thoughts in your head
belong to me, too?
Belong to me, too?
DeathWatch No. 141- Get Out, Headmaster
This is Issue #141 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘DeathWatch’ then go to ‘#0 – A Beginning’ and read from there, or go find the issue # you remember, and catch up from there!
Happy Reading!
* * *
“What is the meaning of this, Garrett?”
Olivier burst into the room as though the people inside were waiting on his cue to come to life. It made Garrett want to pick up his pointer and ram it so far up the Headmaster’s ass he got chalkdust on his tonsils.
“I’m sure I don’t know,” Garrett said, even though he could plainly see that the Headmaster was holding the same newspaper he’d been reading earlier. He turned to the student he’d been tutoring, and said, “We’ll need to pick this up later. Come and see me an hour before evening vespers.”
The student nodded, picked up books and papers, and scuttled out.
“Headmast–”
The door clicked shut, and Olivier turned to face Garrett. The expression on his face was so close to murderous, Garrett actually stopped what he was doing, folded his hands, sat on the corner of his desk and waited.
“You left this in the student lounge,” Olivier snarled, flinging the paper down on Garrett’s desk.
“Actually, I gave it to a student,” Garrett sighed, picking it up and rearranging it, shuffling the papers on his desk and looking unconcerned. “They likely left it in the lounge. I don’t normally go to any of the lounges, Headmaster.”
“Damnit, Garrett, you’re walking a fine line, and the instant y–”
“For fuck’s sake, Holden, you’re being an absolute ass,” Garrett said, slapping his desk. “You want to fire me? Fire me! But I’m not going to cower from you any more! Whatever power you’d had from the Redwell family is long gone! If you want allies here, you’re going to have to earn them without acting like an irrational bastard!”
“You’d better hold your tongue!” Olivier snarled. “Your behavior is not acceptable! The students–”
“You don’t have a heaven-sent clue about the students!” Garrett snapped, his face growing red. Slowly, he clenched his fists and ground his teeth together, struggling not to lose his self control. “Do you have any idea how this news affects them? After the Academy, ninety percent of them were to march out into basic training, Holden! So they could follow in the footsteps of men and women fighting for their nation. So they could be the brave, the bold, the saviours and conquerors. And they just got word that their heroes — not to mention classmates of theirs, alumnae of this institution — are dead. Hundreds, if not thousands of them, Brody and Harrington among them. They knew without me leaving the paper anywhere. They get papers of their own. They have family. People talk, Holden. And word outside the Academy is that we’ve suffered grievous losses — that those Blackland monsters have simply killed wave after wave of our soldiers.”
“Brody and Harrington are not in the list of the confirmed dead,” Olivier said, looking confused.
“Kieron left, to join the scouts, and Jet followed him not long after. I still have contacts in the military,” Garrett murmured. “There are only three scout ships still in the air, and neither Kieron nor Jet is on any of them.” The words are half choked out; Garrett stops, bowing his head, briefly, putting a hand to his brow. “Leave me,” Garrett said, his eyes closed. His expression was neither triumphant nor smug — he had information, but it was a wealth of awful information.
“I hardly think–” Olivier began.
“Get out, Headmaster, or I shall most assuredly behave in a way we will both regret,” Garrett growled, looking up from under his lashes, his teeth beginning to be bared. You, more than me, he thought.
Olivier left, shutting the door behind him quickly.
* * *
It was a full day later, when he barged in again, and yet again, Garrett dismissed a student, promising to finish the lesson later. “Go back over the calculus,” he sighed. “You’re having trouble with the limit as the delta becomes infinitely small.”
“Yes, sir,” the boy replied, gathering up his papers. He stole looks at Olivier, and hurried, nearly dropping his things more than once.
Once they were alone, Olivier simply sat himself down in the chair behind Garrett’s desk, wearing a smug, ridiculous smile.
“What?” Garrett finally asked, exasperated.
A slow smile spread over the Headmaster’s face; he crossed his arms over his chest, saying, “Pack up your personal belongings. You’re hereby relieved of your post, Mr. Garrett.”
Garrett narrowed his eyes, cocking his head to the side.
“Hoyt Redwell is returning to the Academy to finish out a final year and graduate with honors,” Olivier said.
“But the Brody’s–” Garrett sputtered. Ellison may have broken down and begun to rebuild himself, but neither he nor his beautiful wife Delia would have ever conceded to such a thing. Kieron had been too abused by the bullying of the other student.
“Are no longer contesting the boy’s right to have his education. Their son is dead, as you well informed me. I let them know you’d been aware of their son’s whereabouts. Harrington’s as well,” Olivier said, looking proud. “They’ve asked for your dismissal, in the face of your unbecoming conduct, or they threatened to withdraw all ties to the school. Instead the Redwells will be endowing a scholarship, and their son simply needs to finish up some classwork by the end of the term, so that he can graduate,” Olivier said, smirking. “I do believe the Brodys and Harringtons are interested in bringing charges against you, for aiding minors in enlisting.”
How very like an angry owl he looks, Garrett thought, and smiled in spite of himself. In truth, his blood was chilled; he had never managed to face down Ellison Brody when he full well believed the man to be in the wrong, and now… now he was not so certain of his position. He held the smile, wanting to keep himself as measured and calm as possible.
“What do you have to look so smug about?” Olivier hissed. “You’ve just lost your post; you’ll be leaving in disgrace; you’ll soon be served a summons for violating the law, and your pet students are de–”
He didn’t have a chance to finish the sentence; Garrett had the man out of the chair by his throat. It was one thing to be a petty man, and Garrett was certain that Holden Olivier was petty. It was one thing to use his power to turn Garrett away from the teaching job he so loved. It was another thing entirely to break the hearts of two families to prove a point, and to throw it in his face that the boys had likely been killed. “You’re a wretched little pissant of a man,” Garrett snarled, sharp teeth revealed as his lip curled. “And it would give me the greatest of joys to break every bone in your weak, grubbing little body. Do you know what they taught me, outside the Academy, Headmaster? Do you know what I learned after Squadron 414? Or did I fail to place Invasive Tactics Training on my curriculum vitae?”
* * *
Flash Fiction Challenge – Subgenre Tango
Chuck Wendig is at it again. 2 random subgenres, mashed up. I got ‘Technothriller’ and ‘BDSM Erotica’ and 1500 words.
I did 1500 words, exactly — Enjoy.
* * *
“Where… how do you want me to start?” Denan asked, looking around, familiarizing himself with the sterile, medicinal feel. He hadn’t been back here in months.
“Remove your clothes,” Halsi said, his tone blank.
That’s not how this used to go. Before, Halsi tore his clothes and shocked him to within an inch of his life before demanding to be sucked off. “All of them?” Denan wondered, pulling his Tshirt off over his head.
Halsi looked unimpressed. “I am… quite certain you understand the difference between ‘remove your clothes’ and ‘remove some of your clothes,’ yes?”
The pale of Denan’s skin broke out in gooseflesh; he shivered, even though it wasn’t cold — Halsi’s quiet voice was gentle, but something behind his eyes was not.
“Sorry.” Denan blushed, and immediately shucked out of his jeans and boots. Naked, he stood on the cool tile, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
“Fold your clothing. Place it nearly in the chair,” Halsi said.
Denan did was he was told, grateful for the instruction.
Halsi gestured for Denan to get onto the table; he strapped the young man in with both strength and haste, then closed his eyes, and the briefest of frowns furrowed his brow. His eyelids fluttered, and his fingers twitched.
Denan could feel the room grow warmer, the lighting grow dimmer, the low hum of music grow louder. In awe, he breathed, “Did you get a Neurolink?” Neurolinks — the mark of the indescribably wealthy.
Halsi nodded briefly, and Denan beamed. Halsi had been his client for years; but when Denan had taken on a new client, for some extra money, Halsi had been furious. He stopped asking for Denan entirely and Denan had assumed Halsi would never be back, so he moved on. Work was work, and rent had to be paid somehow. The banking system hadn’t given a shit if you were down on your luck before it had gone paperless and people-less, and it didn’t give a shit now. If Halsi was showing off his Neurolink, it meant one thing: Denan was back in his good graces, and all would be well again. Techs used them for work, but rich people, like Halsi, used them for fun, pleasure, and profit.
Denan snapped back to the here and now, as Halsi silently commanded the room to obey his whims; the lights shifted color, until the area looked like a darkroom, lit in cavernous red, and the temperature rose, until Denan felt himself on the brink of breaking into a sweat. The music–or maybe it was just ambient sound–grew even louder, until Denan could feel it in the frame that held him, a slow rushing, a pulsing, rhythmic and familiar.
Denan trembled as the table swung into an upright position, making him stand spread eagled, and he bit back a low moan as quickly as it began. His breathing grew ragged, and he felt the faint strain on his wrists of the bonds holding him up, nearly on tiptoe against the foot plates.
Halsi’s command of the space grew more effortless; Denan watched the walls of the room flicker to life with a shifting study in tonal reds. The sound in the room rose again, immersing him. He had a momentary thought — it’s a heartbeat. I’m listening to a heartbeat — and then it was stolen by the sight of Halsi disrobing. He’d never been allowed to see Halsi naked before.
Denan’s eyes opened wide; he felt his cock stiffen as he took in the sight of the man’s body. From head to toe, he was every inch an Adonis, well-muscled and lithe, with clear, dark skin and large, dark eyes. His finely sculpted features would’ve been beautiful, if Halsi ever smiled, instead they rendered him powerful and commanding in their stark perfection, and the beauty was a great and terrible thing, a divinity wrapped in human form.
Halsi glanced down at Denan’s erection and nodded, as if to acknowledge it as acceptable; Denan felt his cheeks flush with heat. The blush of his skin only intensified as Halsi stepped closer, moving to step up onto the footplate of the table-turned-St.-Andrew’s-cross.
Denan felt Halsi lean against him, and his eyes widened further as he felt Halsi’s hard cock press against him. He uttered a low cry of frustration and need; the dark-eyed man splayed himself out against Denan, on the rack, feet alongside feet, hands going around Denan’s wrists.
The table tipped then, to put Denan on his back, and he felt Halsi’s weight bear down on him, the heat of the man’s body pressed to his. Between them, tight against his belly, Denan felt the heavy jut of Halsi’s cock slide against the rigid heat of his own.
He focused on looking at Halsi, and noticed the flickering light within Halsi’s left eye. Lines in scarlet scrolled there, looking at first like blood.
Then, Denan could make out a command prompt.
“You’re one of–” he began to say, and Halsi leaned in and put his lips against Denan’s, kissing him savagely. He tasted of ozone and copper, like blood and circuits, and Denan might’ve screamed, but for the sudden jolt of electricity that moved through him. His muscles tensed and trembled, and Halsi’s tongue ran over his teeth as his hands tightened around Denan’s wrist.
Denan’s back arched, as if to throw Halsi off, but Halsi simply bore down against Denan’s hips, grinding against the other man. Denan realized now that Halsi had no breath, no pulse. He’s a synth, he thought. How did I not notice? He moaned against Halsi’s teeth and tongue, half in fear, half still aroused, feeling his cock throb between them. He could no more have stopped Halsi’s movement than he could stop his own desire. His muscles trembled, twitched from the aftershocks of the electrostim.
He could still taste ozone, see stars.
Halsi pulled back, and Denan felt the Xframe shorten, to make his knees bend. The way Halsi had clung to Denan allowed him to be drawn closer, knees sliding beneath Denan’s, bringing his hips up against the backs of Denan’s thighs. Halsi reached down with one hand and curled his fingers around Denan’s cock, squeezing it, stroking it slowly. The other hand slid beneath, and Denan tensed as he felt Halsi guide himself in. Denan squirmed under Halsi’s touch, the pressure of being entered. He panted, lifting his hips, and struggled to receive, arching himself right off the Xframe — the room shifted, the walls glowed black-red, and Denan felt a wondrous, awful thought well up from somewhere within him — it’s a womb. I’m in a womb — as he was slowly, excruciatingly filled.
He stared up at Halsi, hips twitching, and watched the synth’s hand stroke his cock faster and faster, as the pulse of the room’s walls grew faster and faster. His eyes widened as Halsi’s skin fluttered. As an infinity of reflective scales shifted, flipped, tumbling to resettle, and suddenly, Halsi was Denan. He watched himself, his own hand around his cock, and it was like being fucked by a mirror, except for how his reflection kept receiving and transmitting commands that scrolled past, over his left eye. Halsi rolled his hips the way Denan did, when he was close. Denan moaned, as Halsi did, when Denan serviced him. “I love you,” Halsi-as-Denan said, but his face wore no emotion. “I love you.”
Denan arched his back again, and bared his throat as he came, shocked by the suddenness of it. Halsi’s fist worked up and down his cock; Denan rode the feeling of it, his hips jerking as he spilled, hot and wet, over Halsi’s fingers.
The ecstasy of it was shattering. Denan was only dimly aware of the feel of Halsi’s own climax; the synth’s cock filled him in a sudden, jerking rush, scalding and deep.
Denan’s whole world turned red. He lay beneath the image of himself, watching the commands scroll, as Halsi’s outer shell reprogrammed itself to return to default. In only moments, Halsi was Halsi again, and Denan felt a splitting, tearing agony behind his eyes. The taste of ozone filled his mouth; his left eye watered, and he shook, violently, as Halsi withdrew, pulling out of Denan, leaving him empty.
His vision burned, and the red walls closed in on him; everything was suffocating. He watched his skin shimmer, harden, fractal into shivering scales, tumbling over and over themselves to resettle.
The Xframe righted itself, and Denan slumped in it, gasping. He struggled for another breath. When it did not come, he thrashed in his bonds — one last violent spasm, and then fell still.
Halsi watched, silent.
The red walls pulsed, slowed.
Stopped.
Denan twitched, muscle groups shuddering in brief myoclonus, and he lifted his head. As the room’s walls faded further, the red darkening to black, Halsi looked into Denan’s face, searching.
At last, he saw what he was looking for — a flicker of red, in Denan’s left eye.
A command prompt.
DeathWatch No. 140 – I Need You. Don’t Leave Me.
This is Issue #140 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘DeathWatch’ then go to ‘#0 – A Beginning’ and read from there, or go find the issue # you remember, and catch up from there!
Happy Reading!
* * *

* * *
It was the same. It was always the same.
He felt his bowels run cold with terror, and he held the gun in his hands, staring down the dozens of pairs of eyes that looked up at him with fear and determination. He looked over at his comrade, who wore a similar expression as he shouted at them to move.
Slow motion; the world moved like cold honey.
He, too, tried to usher the children away, but they wouldn’t leave; the temple was a safe place, a sacred place — but intelligence had promised that weapons were being held there. Weapons the like of which the Allied forces had never seen.
They had to be retrieved.
The children sang and prayed, and wouldn’t move.
Orders came in, over the comms.
Move forward. Get in. Get the weapon.
He walked, waded through the sea of children, and they reached up and hung off him, festooned him with flowers, kissed his hands, weighed him down. He couldn’t move forward without harming them — and they were children.
The orders came in, over the comms, again.
And again.
And finally, as Squadron 414 was nearly stopped by a temple full of innocent children, the orders were changed.
The soldiers looked at one another in faint confusion, but all it took was more time, more fear, and finally, with HQ screaming in his ears about a court martial, feeding him lies about what it was the Blacklander weapon would do, one of the men finally pulled the trigger.
Those first shots began a hailstorm, as soldiers flinched and shot in response, as fear and adrenaline took over.
Dozen and dozens of bodies littered the floor, pink and orange and saffron robes soaked in crimson, chains of flowers strewn everywhere.
He wasn’t the first to shoot — he knew that. But he knew that he did shoot. He did.
The tip of his weapon was smoking; the barrel was hot.
What children were not dead would die soon.
Others had run, fleeing.
The path to the innermost chamber was clear, at last, and stumbling and scrambling over and past the bodies, the soldiers ran in — and found it empty but for a large fountain pool of blessed water. They stared at it, at how it shimmered with threads of a strange silverblue, and then had to retreat, empty-handed, escaping the temple to get back to their pickup spot.
That night, Alec Garrett woke to the sound of his roommate crying. John Ryan had fired first, finger pulling that trigger out of fear or exhaustion or fury, or who knows what — but it was his bullets that spurred the rest of the squadron into killing.
“I’m a monster,” the boy sobbed. He was, after all, merely a boy. They were both just boys. Children fighting an old man’s war.
Garrett got up and crawled into John Ryan’s bed, and pulled him into his arms. “Shh,” he pleaded. “Shh. It was quick. It was orders. You have to let it go,” he urged, though he knew in his heart he couldn’t let it go, either. He pet John’s hair and kissed his cheeks, like his mother did when he was young, and Ryan quieted, shifting enough to wrap his arms around Garrett, struggling for rest. When he seemed settled, Garrett carefully pulled away, to crawl back into his own bed.
“No, no, Alec, please,” John said, rousing, holding to Garrett’s sleeve.
“Shhh, Garrett whispered, petting John’s head. “We can’t,” he murmured. “You know we can’t.”
“I need you,” John confessed. “Don’t leave me.”
Garrett relented, and held him until he felt himself begin to drowse, and then he simply had to let go — it would be no good to wake up in John’s bunk in the morning; infantry found guilty of immoral fraternization had two choices — they could be discharged without merit, or they could be sent to invasive tactics training, and put on ground missions in enemy territory until they died.
In his time as an infantryman, Garrett had seen more than a handful of men caught. In the end, most of them chose invasive tactics, though some denied the allegations, blaming the man they were with, implying some sort of force or unwilling seduction. He had decided, once he’d realized his feelings for John, to not act upon them, not open himself (or John) up to the horrors that would come with an investigation into their secret hearts — but John had confessed his desire boldly, and Garrett had been swept away by the idea of the affair. They’d been lovers for months, under the noses of their commanding officer, a fierce and notoriously bigoted Krieg who had been rumored to hunt the men that went AWOL from his units, and when he caught them, beat them to death.
With all those thoughts, Garrett crawled back into his own bed, and struggled to find sleep. He drifted off at some point. That he knows.
He curses himself for it, still.
No one knows what John Ryan was thinking when he woke up and found himself alone in bed. Was it still about the children? Was it how he couldn’t be comforted by his lover and friend when his heart was breaking?
All Garrett knows was that at some point, John Ryan cleaned and loaded his sidearm, crawled into Garrett’s bed, and curling up with him. Once settled in the crook of Garrett’s arm, John put the muzzle of his sidearm into his mouth, and pulled the trigger.
* * *
Alec Garrett woke with a start; adrenaline surged through him, and he lived in a moment of pure fear and shock, until the panic ebbed away. He gripped the edge of his desk, and the paper he’d been reading when he dozed off crinkled under his fingers. He stared down at the article and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and cursed himself for getting involved in Kieron’s leaving. Likelihood said that now both boys would only be coming home draped in the Centralis Flag.
* * *
Spirit/Flesh
Fully aware,
when the stars are
at their peaks,
whorling in strange circles
in our forbidden sky
you are the meat of my existence,
the flesh of it
and I am the soul,
the spirit of yours.
You are my hand and eye,
my mouth and cock.
I am your song and memory,
your truth and tears.
As one,
we reach for the heat,
the bliss,
the hope of the sun
that burns away the fog of restless dreams,
and solidifies without warning
into the morning vespers bell,
when I can taste you again,
your warm tongue on mine.