DeathWatch II No. 66 – I Serve

This is Issue #66 of DeathWatch, Book II: tentatively called Heart Of Ilona, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find DeathWatch, the first in the series, or start from the beginning of Book II!

Happy Reading!

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* * *

“My Master?” Secta’s voice was low, gentle; he stood near Jet, and when a lull in the conversation occurred, he reached out, attempting to get close once more.

Lucida had slipped off to speak more intimately with Venustus, and Jet found himself moving from grouping to grouping giving blessings and advice and being praised and prayed to, as the night went on.

“Yes?” Jet said, slipping away from the latest, devoted soldiers who were spreading the word of the Guardian’s powers through the ranks, calling for men and women who might have an affinity for devotion to him, to caring for the shrines, for building the churches. He smiled at Secta, and watched the worried face of his famulo shift into a look much like that of the men he’d just left. He dropped his smile abruptly, and turned, gesturing that Secta could follow him. “Let us find a quieter place.”

“Of course,” Secta said, his shoulders dropping. He knew he’d misspoken, knew he’d pushed too far in bringing up Kieron’s name. If only he could apologize — if only there were a way to make it clear he could never replace his master’s first love, that he would never try to–

“Secta,” Jet sighed, when they had finally managed to stand alone. “Was there something you wished to tell me?”

“I…” Secta blushed, his heart in his throat; he squeezed his hands into fists behind his back and said, “I wanted to beg your forgiveness, Lord, I–”

“Shh. Famulo, no. You are not in my bad graces. Stop jumping about in worry, and please, for the love of all that is just, stop making cow-eyes at me, hm? You act like I may wound you at any moment, or that you are to die at my displeasure,” Jet sighed.

“It is only that I spoke too quickly, my Guardian. I… I was careless and cruel with my words, and I never wish to be the cause of any pain to you,” Secta pled.

Jet turned, looking at Secta, and moved to cup his face in his hands. “Listen well, famulo. You will cause me pain. As I will cause you pain. It will happen, from mistakes, from fear, from anger. I will wound you and be wounded by you,” he said, and he leaned in, putting his forehead against Secta’s.

Secta shivered, closing his eyes. “But–”

Tace, my Secta,” Jet said quietly. “Steel your heart. Love is madness and agony and delight, each in its own turn, and at times, all at once.” He kissed Secta, then, his mouth hot and sweet against that of the page. He put what of himself he could into that kiss, allowing himself to imagine it as a last one. He could not keep being weak in the face of his desires.

My Secta. The famulo leaned into the kiss, silenced, nodding, surrendering, unknowing of Jet’s thoughts.

“Now,” Jet sighed, pulling back, “Let us find my wife, and say our goodbyes to Venustus, hmm? No doubt the family still has much to do. We will leave our tokens of mourning, and we will go back home, and send tokens of celebration, and notes that we are at the family’s disposal, for their needs, as they re-center their house.”

“Yes, my Lord,” Secta beamed.

They rejoined the main of the party, and found Venustus returning with Nixus and Lucida, just as Coryphaeus returned as well. The talk turned to logistics, of plans moving forward, and Venustus quietly related the story of her husband’s letters and his wishes.

“And is this how you would move forward?” Jet wondered. “You have in this time, the right to revoke his will, or instate it, as you so choose.”

“I find nothing objectionable in his will, but I am certain other houses will drag all legal matters through the mud–”

As was occasionally his way, Secta interrupted, blushing as he said, “If it pleases, Domina, the issue of a royal decree of the validity would put it to rest.”

“It cannot be that easy, famulo,” Lucida said, pursing her lips, one brow raised.

Gambling that her expression was only a warning, and not forbidding, Secta continued, “While our beloved Prince ruled still, it was a bit of knowledge I gained; he had had to issue particular decrees regarding our Guardian’s legitimacy as a husband for you. Spoken aloud by you to the appropriate barristers, recorded in your blood for the lawbooks, it becomes fact. New fact replaces old fact — in effect, you control our history, my Queen.”

“Then,” Lucida said, her expression mild and somehow not betraying the sudden surge to run to read every lawbook touched by her late brother, desperate to be close to something of his, some way he still touched the world in which she still lived. “I will simply decree it allowed. Let them come to me to argue.”

Venustus looked at Secta, impressed. “A brilliant young man. You are a noble’s son, paging for our Guardian? Your face is a face that is familiar to me.”

“I purchased the famulo from his family, for his service,” Lucida beamed.

“And he takes initiative in such a fashion?” Venustus’s eyes lit up.

“In all things, Domina. He is without compare,” Jet said quietly, wincing inside himself to see Secta beam for such praise.

“But from a low family, purchased.” Venustus marveled, reaching a wine-steadied hand to pet Secta’s head.

“My family was not low,” Secta blurted, barely not flinching back from the touch.

“That is true.” Lucida looked unconcerned.

“…Secta?” Jet said, looking a little baffled.

“My father was a fourth generation barrister. His great grandfather made the pilgrimage from Viridia to Ilona proper, to pay blood so that he might be blessed to offer his services to Ilona. He knelt to Venator — the man who would have been Lucida’s great grandfather. I would have inherited the family business,” Secta said softly.

“And now you serve,” Lucida said, finishing off a glass of wine, and pouring herself another.

“…and now I serve,” Secta said, nodding, trying not to look at Jet.

Jet looked queasy; he demeaned a brilliant and noble scholar in this way? He’d robbed the boy of his own life, and made him wash his feet, fold his laundry, shave his face? He’d been bought by Lucida, just to do this with his life?

“He would be of such great use to me in this time,” Venustus beamed. “There are several matters I would love your eyes on, famulo Secta.”

“Oh, I–” Secta’s expression was careful not to insult, accepting the honor of being asked for such a thing but refusing it was a delicate balance.

“Absolutely,” Jet said. in a rush, his heart in his throat. Here was his chance. It was a sign — he could not continue on like this, with Secta; here was a way he could give the boy back his life. He would have Secta excel, shine for the woman, and then he would have Lucida make it law, free him. “You must. I… I offer his expertise to you, Venustus, and ask that you report back to me his knowledge in these matters.”

Secta froze, his smile gone stiff. What was this? He looked at Jet, then at Venustus, and did the only thing he could do. He relaxed his smile, bowed his head, and murmured, “I serve.”

* * *

NEXT

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DeathWatch II No. 65 – If Nixus were here, what do you think she’d do?

This is Issue #65 of DeathWatch, Book II: tentatively called Heart Of Ilona, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find DeathWatch, the first in the series, or start from the beginning of Book II!

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

Famulo,” Coryphaeus said, smiling to Secta. “I thank you for taking special pains with my servant; feel free to rejoin your master in the festivities.” He went to Jules’s side and put the food and drink on a table beside her, eyeing the bucket with no small amount of hesitance and disgust.

“She has neither seen, nor purged, Legatus,” Secta said, rising. “And–though it may be bold to say it–”

Jules’s head snapped up; she stared at Secta, imploring. Don’t. Don’t do it. Say nothing. Say. Nothing.

Secta caught Jules’ expression; his eyebrows lifted, and he paused in the middle of speaking.

“Yes?” Coryphaeus wondered, looking back at Secta, expectant. “What is bold, then?”

“I… am happy for your rising, Lord. This is your house, now, is it not? Though death is not necessarily always a joyous thing, this occasion marks a dawn for your family.” Secta’s honeyed voice made a smooth recovery; he smiled, bowing low. “I wish all blessings of the Guardian upon you.”

“Ah… thank you, yes.” Coryphaeus smiled, nodding to Secta, and gave a light wave to dismiss him, so he could turn his attentions to Jules, who kept her head down, waiting for them to be alone.

Once Secta had finally left the room, Jules snagged the aetheris and swigged it down, then moved to take the plate of food, trying to make herself eat slowly. “Thank you. I feel like I haven’t truly eaten in weeks.”

“You haven’t truly eaten in weeks,” Cory said, moving to stand up and meander around the room, looking over the bits and baubles that decorated it, the banner of the house crest that belonged to his father. A great phoenix was semi-wound in a hooded serpent’s tail, the bird’s talons piercing the serpent, the serpent’s fangs piercing the flank of the bird. Coryphaeus had found it a spectacular reminder of never becoming too focused on a singular outcome — both the phoenix and the serpent thought themselves winning — but both were soon to die.

He remembered his father droning on about the true meaning involving something about the black field upon which the figures rested — the shadow overcoming both beasts — that all things fell to death at some point, and their struggles were neither epic nor worth remembering. Only those who sought to serve past petty needs of the moment would ever accomplish true goals.

Coryphaeus lifted his own glass to the banner, snorting in salute and then drinking.

Jules wry voice was easily heard over the clamor of his own thoughts. “N’my country, y’know, w’call that ‘daddy issues’.”

Coryphaeus coughed into his drink, rolling his eyes, and looked over at Jules, saying, “Couldn’t maintain the facade for the entire duration, could you?”

“D’ye really want me t’pretend, when we’re alone, Legatus?” Jules wondered, setting her clean plate aside. She stood, without wavering, and uttered a long, low sigh of satisfaction. “M’I really t’play the facade for you even when no one’s watching?”

“If Nixus were here, what do you think she’d do?”

“She’d call one of us a stupri cunni, roll her eyes, and leave the room again,” Jules said aptly.

“No, I meant the banner. Do you think she’d salute him? Drink to him?” Coryphaeus wondered, frowning.

“I–” Jules looked up at the banner, her eyes moving over the tapestry threads. It was an expertly woven thing, beautiful even in the horrible way it portrayed the dying beasts. The surrounding details, past the field of black, were breathtaking in their precision. “I dunno,” she admitted. “Why d’you ask?”

“She killed him,” Coryphaeus said, voicing aloud the thing he’d been fairly certain of, since seeing the site of his father’s death, and then absolutely certain of, once he read the note written to himself.

“She what?” Jules’s eyes went huge. She moved to stand in front of him, saying, “But–”

“She and I spoke, one night, while you were in and out of aetheris, trying to master the visions, and then she left. She stays with her Legios, with Sollerti, most times, but I’d heard from various servants who still give me information, that she came here. Stayed the night,” Coryphaeus said softly.

“So?”

“A few days later, while she was with us, my father was announced dead. I’ve seen Nixus truly surprised. She wasn’t. And… the letter from my father was–” He drank more aetheris and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “There is no way in this world my father wrote those words with his own hands.”

“If you know–” Jules said, looking worried.

“It’s possible the whole house knows. We’ll never bring it up, outside this moment. The aetheris will keep our secrets between us,” he said, nodding and gesturing to her with his glass. He drank the last of it and set it aside.

“Your sister killed your father.”

“And named me sole heir in his note,” Coryphaeus said. “My mother gave our house a new name, and the Guardian blessed it. I am the eldest son of a very wealthy family,” he says, looking to Jules.

“What.. what would Nixus get out of it?” Jules wondered.

“She’d get left alone. She doesn’t want the money. She doesn’t want to be married off. She wants to be in the military. She wants to run her own life. I was the one who joined it only to get away from him. I’d wanted to know how to run the household for years. At best I’d have been married off… somewhere. Anywhere far from him. But now–” He laughed, tears on his face, giddiness overwhelming him. “I am a legitimate son, Jules. I’m free. Free from him. Free from being tied to the military. Free.”

“Congratulations?” Jules’s voice worried faintly — she wasn’t sure what that meant for her, and what he would expect of her… as a slave.

Coryphaeus turned from the banner, where he’d been marveling at his mother’s intricate tapestry work, his eyes flitting from flowers and leaves to birds and script and all manner of details he’d never noticed, and looked to Jules. “It’s been… it is known. There have been Lords before me, who have–”

Jules’s eyes darkened; she cocked her head to the side. Don’t you dare. Don’t you keep me a whore in this pretty cage. Don’t offer that to me. She advanced on him, fury in her eyes.

“They have set aside their concubina,” he began, trying not to stutter. “Retired them, in a way. Gave them a house and household,” he said, smiling tentatively. “Relieved them of all obligation to his desires.”

“What?” Jules frowned slightly, looking bewildered. That certainly didn’t go in the direction she’d expected.

“It’s been done before, I am saying to you, Commander. When I publicly take the place as head of this house, I could set you free. I could give you money, land, or just.. my seal, and a way out,” he offered, looking hopeful. “Or we could go with my original plan — I simply smuggle you out, with resources, but considering the place will be a war zone–”

“Y’tryin awful hard t’get rid of me, Legatus.” Jules tried to keep her voice level, when she spoke.

“Only because I finally accepted that’s what you want,” Coryphaeus quipped.

Jules made sure she didn’t let her expression twist to hurt — instead, she smirked in something between smugness and irritation. “N’what if the thing that makes me wanna get away from anyone is when they try to make my decisions for me? What if you don’t know what I want?” Jules asked as she closed the gap between them, and kissed his mouth. What if I don’t know, either? But that was a thought best examined alone, while he was off busy with his family.

Coryphaeus looked shocked as her lips pressed to his; he stared at her glassily when she pulled back.

“Now go,” she said, her own heart thundering. “I’ll stay out of sight, but this is your celebration too, hmm? Y’have t’stop runnin off into darkened rooms. Who knows what all those guests are already gossiping about?”

* * *

NEXT

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With SERIOUS apologies to Corned Beef Hashtag, Howard Ashman, et al….

Lift up your pen
Dust off your keyboard
Here, take my pencil
Erase false starts away
Show me your page, clean as the mornin’
I know things were bad, but now they’re okay
Possibly Henry is sittin’ beside you
You don’t need no agent, don’t have to pretend
Possibly Henry is here to provide you
Sweet understanding
Henry’s your friend

Nobody ever treated me kindly
Daddy left early
Mama was poor
I’d meet a book and I’d read it blindly
It’d have big plotholes
Me, I’d say “sure.”
Possibly Henry is standin’ beside me
He don’t give me orders
He don’t condescend
Possibly Henry is here to provide me
Sweet understanding
Henry’s my friend

Tell me this feelin’ll last till forever
Tell me the bad times are clean washed away

Please understand that it’s still strange and fright’nin’
For losers like I’ve been it’s so hard to say

Possibly Henry,
might’ve inspired me
Possibly Henry
He showed me I can
Learn how to be more
The writer inside me
With sweet understanding,
With sweet understanding,
With sweet understanding,
Henry’s my plant!

Possibly Henry,
Yes he inspired you
Possibly Henry
Yes, you can
Learn how to be more
The writer inside you
With sweet understanding,
With sweet understanding,
With sweet understanding,
Henry’s your plant…

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DeathWatch II No. 64 – I Owe You All My Happiness

This is Issue #64 of DeathWatch, Book II: tentatively called Heart Of Ilona, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find DeathWatch, the first in the series, or start from the beginning of Book II!

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

“Am I mistaken, caro, or have several of the hosts of this gathering simply left their guests to fend for themselves, without announcement?” Lucida wondered, lingering near Jet.

“They are not the only ones who have wandered off,” Jet said irritably. He was angry with Secta, but he hardly knew why anymore. All he knew was the young man wasn’t near him, and it made his skin feel hot, tight, and like he couldn’t concentrate.

At that moment, Venustus and Coryphaeus returned, re-engaging their guests, talking warmly. Plied with honey wine and Venustus’s effusive charm, even Jet’s near-sour mood returned to joy.

* * *

“Here.” Nixus handed Jules a cool washrag, and put a large bucket between her knees.

Secta sighed, moving to stand. “I’m sorry, little Krieg, but I should return to my Lord.”

“I’m sorry, Summus,” Jules said to Nixus. “I thank you for the assistance, but I know you would prefer to be with your mother and your guests. It’s possible the worst has passed. It does not always come as a vision immediately. I have had dizzy spells.”

“You do look more settled. I’m not convinced, however,” Nixus said, pursing her lips. “Remain here. I will bring you food.”

“Aetheris has been known to help.” Secta noted.

“I may be a bit, while I handle guests. I should not remain long from the gathering,” Nixus said. “In truth, I would rather be in here.”

“With the vomit?” Jules snorted.

Nixus’s expression made Jules pale.

Paenitent mea, Summus,” Jules whispered, bowing her head. She trembled, furious with herself for slipping. Regardless of Secta’s acceptance of her, and the unlikeliness of him somehow trying to use her un-slave-like demeanor against her, she knew she should not be so cavalier. “I forget my place,” she breathed, slipping from the floor to her knees, setting aside the bucket and washcloth. “I’m so sorry.”

Nixus nodded curtly, and moved to leave.

Immediately, Secta crouched to help Jules back up. There was such fury in his face, she shrank from him as she stood. “Did he do this to you?”

“What?” Jules said, looking frustrated. “Did who do– Yes. Yes, he– He is the Master he should be. I am as any other slave.” Shaken, Jules tried to clear her throat and pull away from Secta.

“I had thought him a more honorable man than this.” His voice was dark; his jaw worked as he clenched his teeth.

Jules looked up at Secta, flinching back from his fury — and then stared at his hand as it curled tightly about her arm. She looked from it, to his face again, and then whispered, “It was Nixus, friend. It was Nixus who did this. Not the Legatus. He could not bear to. She did it so he would not have to; I cannot be seen as anything but a slave, or I would face worse terrors from those who hate people like me. And for good reason.”

The fear on her face made Secta drop his hold on her; he worried for the way Jet’s blood seemed to be changing him. “You think we hate Westlanders for good reason?” he wondered.

“Not Westlanders, little Ilonan,” Jules said, her voice so very low. “Kriegs.”

“Why should we hate Kriegs any more than any other?” Secta said, his expression shifting from rage to pure bewilderment. He frowned, cocking his head to the side.

Jules kept her voice quiet; all the same, the answer was thunderous. “Because of what they are about to do.”

* * *

Jet was pleasantly cheered with with food and wine, and had found himself a comfortable seat while the vigil-turned-celebration had grown. It was a grand honor to host the Queen and the Guardian in her home, and Venustus was well-pleased to keep them close. She shone with pride when Jet spoke of Coryphaeus’s bravery, saying aloud, “There are some who believed he was a traitor, I–”

“I forgave him myself,” Lucida said, without hesitation. “He, Nixus, and Plaga of Tenebrae are our Guardian’s foremost advisors. They will see Ilona become the jewel our beloved Prince had meant it to be. They will defend the heart of Ilona with their lives. They are a treasure to our people.”

Coryphaeus had the happy accident of rejoining the conversation to hear those words, and he made appropriate exchanges of gratitude and loyalty to both the Queen and the Guardian, attempting to hold to the pride in his heart without crushing it into arrogance. He still had a rather ridiculously pleased expression on his face when he saw Nixus at last. “You’re missing the festivities,” he said to her, dark eyes watching her carefully. “Where’ve you been?”

“I’m on my way to fetch your favorite toy a bit of food and aetheris,” Nixus said, trying not to roll her eyes.

Coryphaeus barely kept his expression in check. “Aetheris? Is she well?”

“Well enough, Coryfrater. If she keeps this down, I imagine she’ll be able to rejoin the group without worry. At least for a bit, hm?”

Coryphaeus was not soothed by his sister’s dismissiveness. “What has she seen?”

“Nothing since your house, that I know of,” Nixus answered. “Peace, brother. You’ll cause a commotion. Many eyes are on you now.”

“Well get them off me. I’ll take it to her. You go sit with mother a bit and regale them all with your glorious tales of conquest,” Coryphaeus offered. “I’d prefer you bask in the light of their praise. After all, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

“What?” Nixus felt her heart seize as she nearly dropped the small plate of food.

“You convinced me it would be for the best to return home, to speak with mother, to see that I was no longer an outcast. I had assumed father’s words spoke for the whole of the family, but I have received nothing but the kindest of welcomes,” Coryphaeus said, reaching to take the food with one hand, and touch Nixus’s shoulder with his other. He leaned in and embraced her warmly, beaming. “Don’t look so startled, Nixus. Am I not a man who knows how to give thanks?”

When he drew back, Nixus saw the barest glittering in his eyes, and was startled when he reached up and brushed her own cheeks, saying, “Tears, soror?”

“Joy, frater. Now go, before you ruin it with an insistence on noticing my weaker moments,” she said.

He leaned in and kissed her between her brows, then leaned his forehead against hers. “Truly, Nixus, from this day forward, I owe you all my happiness.”

* * *

NEXT

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The mirror’s lament

How you had spoken to me
in the pale mornings
I cannot express to anyone —
all are deaf to me;
no voice is my own.

All that you had told me
is the first truth,
and mine is but a dim echo,
seeking to mirror your brighter light,
your stronger tone.

You are my Narcissus,
and I am not even the nymph,
but the pool beside which you perish,
never even having kissed
your own cool lips.

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