Caoineadh ar an Bean Sí

“Blue–”

“Máire, le haghaidh an grá Dé, scor do caointe!” bhí a guth éadrócaireach, aon uair a chan Mary.

Ba mhaith sí ag canadh barely sé nótaí i, ag obair sa seomra níocháin, nuair a líonadh sé suas an doras, screadaíl i greannú, bladhmadh srón, agus ag gol beoir saor tríd a faoi léine.

“Aon duine ar mian chun éisteacht leat. Fuaimeanna cosúil le bunch cait screadaíl.”

“Is maith liom an dóigh liom–”

“Is maith duine ar bith é!” Nuair a chuir sé, feargach ní raibh sí tarraingt amach as dó, thóg sé a dhorn chlé, réidh a dhéanamh di. Stop sé ina rianta, go páirteach as a ghualainn aching dó, go páirteach as an dath an uisce níocháin, bándearg cúradh a marred an bán a chuid léinte oibre, ar fad a raibh an chuma a bheith folaithe i fola. “Cad é an ifreann atá tú ag imirt ag?”

“Nach bhfuil ag imirt, Mick,” a dúirt Máire. “Ag déanamh an níocháin Amháin. Beidh ort léine glan a chaitheamh ar an Eaglais don tseirbhís.”

“Seirbhís? Cén seirbhíse?” a dúirt Mick, ag cur céim eile chun tosaigh, an cuma ghránna ar a aghaidh casadh tuilleadh mar bhraith sé ar an preabadaigh géar ar a bogadh taobh clé trína a ghualainn agus síos isteach ina bhrollach.

“Do sheirbhís, ” a dúirt Máire, sciúradh na héadaí ré.

“Mo sheir–” thosaigh Mick, ach thit sé ar a chosa, a bhfuil a cófra, agus an ansiúd istigh de chuid brístí iompú dorcha mar a stop a chroí.

Curtha ar shos sí ina níocháin, ag smaoineamh faoi conas caithfidh sí nigh a bríste anois, freisin, agus chan sí amhrán tír is fearr leat aon uair amháin níos mó. “Blue — Oh, so lonesome without you. Why can’t you be blue over me?”

* * * Translation Below * * *

“Blue–”

“Mary, for love o’GOD, quitcher caterwaulin!” His voice was cruel, whenever Mary sang.

She’d hardly gotten six notes in, working in the laundry room, when he filled up the doorway, bellowing his irritation, nostrils flaring, sweating cheap beer through his undershirt.

“Ain’ nobody wanna hear you. Sounds like a bunch of cats screamin!”

“I like the way I–”

“Ain’ NOBODY likes it!” When he advanced, infuriated she didn’t flinch, he lifted his left fist, ready to make her. He stopped in his tracks, partly from his shoulder aching him, partly from the color of the laundry water, a foaming pink that marred the whites of his work shirts, all of which appeared to be covered in blood. “What the hell you playin at?”

“Not playin, Mick,” Mary said. “Just doin the washin. You’ll need a clean shirt t’wear at the Church for the service.”

“Service? What service?” Mick said, taking another step forward, the sneer on his face twisting further as he felt the sharp throb on his left side move through his shoulder and down into his chest.

“Your service,” Mary said, laundering the bloody clothes.

“My se—“ Mick began, but he fell at her feet, clutching his chest, and the crotch of his pants turned dark as his heart stopped.

She paused in her washing, thinking about how she’d have to wash his pants now, too, and wailed her favorite country song once more. “Blue, oh so lonesome without you – why can’t you be blue over me?”

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Cold

It was November 18th, nine in the morning. It was cold where I was, and I was cold, but I couldn’t feel it. My eyes were open. Navy blue, but fading — not blue like his. They’d never be too-blue, like his.

Frost made feathers on the inside of the windows near me, curling and spiking, soft and sharp.

There wasn’t food here, or heat. No smokes. No blankets. I didn’t have much of anything useful I had a couple thin coats around me, and some scavenged pieces of exercise mat under me. Someone had already stolen my boots. If I had been standing, I’d have been shorter than him without them. He stood in the doorway, cigarette at his lips, smoke trailing idly as his too-blue eyes watched me. I’d stopped breathing hours ago, long before he’d shown up. He was too late this time, as he’d been every other time. He wouldn’t come further in, and I couldn’t make him. I looked down at my hands as he touched them, but I still couldn’t feel it.

“Daft bint,” he muttered quietly. He had to know this wasn’t his fault, but all the same, he would feel like he failed me.

I was the one who failed. I couldn’t even wait. Why couldn’t I just wait?

He took off his gloves and he touched my hair; I could hear it rattle, hear it clatter and clack, the beads and braids sliding against one another. Then he let his fingers reach to touch my face. I couldn’t blush anymore. I couldn’t pull away.

I wouldn’t have wanted to, finally.

I wanted to know how warm his skin was. I wanted to know how his fingertips felt as they traced my cheek and my jaw. He did it the same every time. His fingers slid over my cheek, my jaw, then his thumb went over my lips.

He slid his hand into mine.

Every single time, I felt nothing.

Then he closed my eyes.

Then he closed his eyes.

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I Could Title This But I'll Still Hate You, Either Way

If I were
sympathetic,
I feel as though
you might like me more.
If I could show you
a certain amount of pity,
rather than seem
apathetic,
you might be
less angry with me.
I am, however,
only empathetic,
and having been there,
I must tell you
how
little
sympathy
I have for one as
pathetic
as you.

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I Could Title This But I’ll Still Hate You, Either Way

If I were
sympathetic,
I feel as though
you might like me more.
If I could show you
a certain amount of pity,
rather than seem
apathetic,
you might be
less angry with me.
I am, however,
only empathetic,
and having been there,
I must tell you
how
little
sympathy
I have for one as
pathetic
as you.

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Love and War

She had
that kind of smile
that was piercing;
once it fixed on you,
you were going to be
broken,
no matter how iron
your will,
no matter how strong
your shield.
She did not slip a dagger
between
the plates of your armor
so much as already have it borne
within
your own heart,
a secret weapon that came
through
between
your ribs,
from the inside
out.

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