Older Than We Think We Are

Remember I remember I remember I
set my blender to eleven
but I only use pulse
I only use it but a moment;
half the world,
half my world is thinned
to blood
and the rest is tectonic plates,
too huge to
do anything but
fit together and be obvious.
I came all this way —
but I came all this way.
I look into your eyes and I
taste the smoke I know
was on your lips.

Why didn’t you stop me?
Why didn’t you save me?

I don’t want you to save me.
If you walked back into my life
right now
it’s even odds I’d
kiss you or kill you.
I miss you.
I hate you.
The elephant in the room
is me.
Everyone stares.
It’s all right; it’s all right —
I’ve always
been this way, my
insides on the outside,
so I’m used to it.

Why don’t you stop me?
Why don’t you save me?

I came all this way.
Nobody owes me
anything.
Sometimes I close my eyes and I
forget to breathe.
None of these things go
together.
I don’t go
together.
I remember

You can’t stop me.
You can’t save me.

About Catastrophe Jones

Wretched word-goblin with enough interests that they're not particularly awesome at any of them. Terrible self-esteem and yet prone to hilarious bouts of hubris. Full of the worst flavors of self-awareness. Owns far too many craft supplies. Will sing to you at the slightest provocation.
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