Sorry, not sorry

I’m not sorry about the toast.
I’m not sorry about the wedding.
I’m not sorry about the fake priest.
I’m not sorry about switching the donors.
I’m not sorry about Ramon.
I’m not sorry about Kevin.
I’m not sorry about Carl.
I’m not sorry about Butch.
I’m not sorry about Celissa, Marissa, Narcissa, Clarissa, or the rest of the elderly choir.
I’m not sorry about calling you Uncle.
I’m not sorry about calling Uncle you.
I’m not sorry about making you do it at the same time.
I’m not sorry about shooting you.
I’m not sorry about shooting you again.

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Go ahead -- say something. Anything.