I never knew what
you were asking for but I
still find me flailing
to give it even
when I’m certain I should just
be giving up.
Get past it. Get through
it. You’ve given me the kind
of advice that makes
me want to slit my
wrists. How hopeless can someone
get? Do you know how
hard I wished to be
good enough for you? Us? Or
how hard I had tried
to be someone else
for you, certain that you could
never love someone
like me. I came all
unwound, you know. I came all
undone. I’d taken
bits and pieces of
myself, uncertain as to
how they fit us then,
knowing only that
some of them fit with you. Please
wake up with me. Tell
me stories again.
Let me see those eyes, colors
I never thought I’d
love until they were
yours. What will it take to sweep
you off your feet? What
will it take now, to
make me greater than I am,
enough to deceive,
to trick you into
never leaving me, for it
must be a trick — no
one as beautiful
as you could ever stay with
me for too long. I
have loved you, darling,
ever since you showed me the
tenderness locked up
behind youthful eyes
that grew up far, far too soon.
What glitter we have,
glitter discovered. You’ve
made it easy to lose all
those I ever left
behind. If it’s true
you never forget those you’ve
loved, then until now,
until you, in my
life, I haven’t ever loved
anyone else.
