DeathWatch No. 49 – Little One, Forgive Me

This is Issue #49 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

It was a week later, when the vision hit.

Kieron was standing with Nathan in the Captain’s quarters, going over maps, discussing plans with the navigators and pilots. He felt proud to be included; more than once, he’d even been asked his opinion. The only thing he worried about was the nagging feeling of ‘not-there’ that had been growing over the past few days.

His Captain knew about it, and he was fairly certain that Nate knew about it, as well, but he didn’t feel like fainting or throwing up in front of anyone else on crew. He waited as long as he could, nodding, talking, strained and finally breaking out into a sweat before he excused himself, and staggered out onto the decks.

It being late, most everyone who wasn’t on a watch was either in the meeting, eating, or bunked, which meant the deck was fairly clear. This was good, since Kieron wanted to keep himself from being mobbed by crew who didn’t know what was going on, but bad, since it meant no one would be able to help him, if he were pained by the vision he knew was coming.

He moved to lean against a bulkhead and close his eyes against the rise and swell of his dizziness, and then had to grab hold of his surroundings, when he felt like he was falling through the world.

He had one last moment where he heard Nate’s voice come near, and he could smell the leather-and-hot-guns scent that was the Quartermaster, and then he was gone, slipped.

* * *

So many times the slip into someone’s death was violent and sudden — this one was no different. Kieron tensed, opening his eyes with a gasp, and was immediately assaulted with the stench of blood and loosed bowels. He was on his knees — on that marble floor he recognized, and his hands were bound. He could not feel a wound, could not feel a flow of blood, but he could feel his stomach churning, his throat on fire.

Bodies lay around him in pools of their own viscera, their mouths wide open, something redblack pooling beneath their slack jaws.

He could feel his own insides burning, and he curled his arms around himself, bowing his head forward. He recognized the uniform, and then he recognized something else: corkscrews of orange copper spilling over his shoulders. Kieron shuddered, closing his eyes and trying not to keen.

Not her. No, not her.

He remembered Nathan’s face, the agony as he held the rail so tightly, the cords in his neck standing out as he stood there shouting into the clouds. “JULES! JULES, I LOVE YOU!”

Anyone but her.

He dragged in a painful breath and sat up again, turning to look, to see who else was around, when in marched Abramov, bound in chains, following the man who had watched him slit his throat, some time previous.

The prince. Was Jet near? He tried to focus on Abramov, to figure out what happened — they’d only left a week ago. Could this already be happening?

“This is what remains of your crew,” the prince spat.

“Bastard. Animal. Monster,” Abramov snarled, looking at his people. In realizing the torment before their death, the fury in him withered, and Abramov looked broken. His eyes roamed over the dead littering the marble floor — but the worse heartbreak was when he recognized the body that housed Kieron, kneeling helplessly in the middle. “Yana,” he gasped, staggering toward him.

Kieron opened his mouth to speak, but a runnel of something hot and sour poured over his teeth, squeezed from his insides without control, running down his chin. It reeked of copper and death. He gagged, gasping, and the next breath in was fire.

“YANA!” Abramov shouted, horror painting his features. He turned to run down the dais, to get to her, but didn’t get far.

The man Sha had called Immanis pulled on the chains binding Abramov, and brought him to his knees.

“MONSTER!” Abramov growled. “You are monster! This is why we fighting! This is why war will never be ending! You are monster! You are filth! You are worse than filth!” He turned to look back to Yana, sobbing.

“You are not fighting,” Immanis said. “You are murdering. You are massacring innocents.”

“NONE OF YOU ARE INNOCENTS!” Abramov howled, raging.

“You burned villages. Whole villages. To the ground. They weren’t fighting in a war, you worthless coward.” He shoved Abramov down into the sprawl of dead bodies. “You rained fire from the sky, and you obliterated every man, woman, and child in an entire farmland valley,” Immanis seethed, tears in his eyes. “Thousands of my people!”

“I SHOULD HAVE DONE MORE!” Abe shouted as he landed near Kieron, skidding in the muck, sobbing as he tried to get to Jules.

Rained fire from the sky. Kieron remembered the face of the man who’d directed him to the TS Jacob. He remembered the scar tissue, and how the man had said it came about.

The he remembered the technic telling him what was in the kegs.

What’s it for? He had asked.

Burning.

He tried to say ‘No’, but Jules’s body retched again, and he bowed to watch his insides become outsides, straining, bloodied, lost. He turned to look at the captain of the Maxima, pain on Jules’s face, but another spasm made him lose his balance. With his arms bound and his knees in the muck, he thrashed and fell, hitting his head on the marble floor, leaving him dazed. The agony of it was unlike anything else he’d ever felt, as though a thousand hot needles were driven through him from guts to throat. He gagged, unable to catch his breath, and felt the boiling, poisonous fire of his body rage on as he stared at Abe.

What have you done? he wanted to ask.

“Yana,” Abramov begged, horror in his eyes. “Little one, forgive me.”

Immanis grabbed hold of Abramov’s beard and pulled his head to the left, and then the right, making him look at the dead, showing him what his own actions had wrought. “I charge you with the murder of thousands,” he hisses. “You are guilty, and this is your penance. Look upon what you have wrought.”

“You deserve it,” Abramov snarled, spittle at the corners of his lips.

“As you deserve this,” Immanis said, standing up and stepping back. He nodded to another figure who stepped forward.

Kieron’s vision was fading; he couldn’t breathe, and the body was panicking. He had a moment of clarity to see the man he knew was an executioner step close, and draw a blade crafted of polished black stone. The killer wore a black a black sash, and an ornate enameled death’s head mask covered his features. He stepped forward and thrust the blade up beneath Abramov’s jaw, driving the tip of it through the delicate bone of the captain’s palate and into his brain. Jules’s body yet again spasmed, and her vision finally failed; the last thing he saw was Abramov fall forward and drive the last of the knife further up, until the point sheared through the eyesocket from behind. Abe’s massive body jerked once, and then was still.

Unable to see, unable to move, Kieron lingered in Jules’ death, vomiting redblack clots of his liquefied innards until at last, merciful oblivion came for him.

* * *

The deck was ghostly quiet as the TS Jacob cut through the night sky, daring to leave the cloudbanks while in the dark.

He came to with a ragged cry, pulling himself up against the bulkhead. He was weak-kneed, with his head spinning, and his heart thundering.

Strong arms wrapped around him suddenly, holding him up, surrounding him in that familiar scent. Leather and guns.

“Nate,” Kieron gasped.

“Fuck, Brody — if you puke on me you owe me a new coat,” Nate said, laughing lowly. The sound of it died in his throat when he saw the look on Kieron’s face.

Kieron squeezed one of Nate’s hands as he panted, looking pained, and once he’d caught his breath, he spoke.

“We have to find The Maxima. Now.”

* * *

NEXT

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DeathWatch No. 48 – Your …Metamorphosis. You Have This Word, Yes?

This is Issue #48 of DeathWatch, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find ‘A Beginning’ and read from there, if you need to catch up.

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

The room that had been the site of gore, of screaming and crying and horrors that no one had expected was cleaned up and mostly silent. Windows were open, and warm late spring air blew dryly through the halls. In the distance were the sounds of the nearby market and all of the peoples going about their lives with no idea the chaos contained in the palace. One figure lay in the bed, draped in a white sheet, while another sat in the window, stricken into exhaustion.

Jet woke slowly, pulled to the surface of a dark pool that had held him for what felt like years. He found himself awake, finally, and recognized the feel of fresh sheets and bedding, while the memories of copper and salt faded like smoke chased in the wind. He did not forget, per se, but the horrors of it seemed dulled, set aside, while the memory of what he had not seemed to focus on, before — all that blood — was still so clear. The windows in the room were open, and the diaphanous canopies and curtains fluttered easily in the warm breeze; the lightness of it, the cleanness of it, felt almost absurd, given the pain and gore of the previous days.

He knew he had been incapacitated for quite some time, knew he had been ill, but it wasn’t until he sat up and saw Lucida in the window that he had any real idea of what anyone else had gone through.

She rested in a window seat, her head tipped to the side, exhaustion blanking her features into a mask of sleep, her hair spilled loose, her gown in faint disarray.

He carefully got out of bed, marking how he was not sore, not wounded in any way, though he had fragments of memories full of blood, of his blood. He looked himself over and found no wounds, no blood — the slice on his hand had healed into the shape of a four-pointed star, red and silver against the pale of his palm. Naked, he crossed the room and moved to touch her face, gently rousing her. “Lucy,” he whispered. “Mane est, Lucida. Vigilas,” he said, easily using the tongue of the people who had kidnapped him, but turned him to family, shifting a hand to her shoulder to give a gentle shake.

When Lucy woke, her eyes tried to focus as they traveled up his form, and when they met his face, they widened in shock. “Jet,” she whispered, and a smile broke over her face as she got up to throw her arms around him, tears on her cheeks. “You have returned!” she cried, laughing aloud, pressing kisses all over his face. She pulled back and ran for the door, pulling it open to shout, “He is alive! Immanis! Immanis, my brother, my Jet is alive!”

It was not long before Immanis came in, and moved to pull Jet into his own embrace, kissing his cheeks and laughing victoriously.

Jet could see how they were both exhausted, and so once they were both eased, he curled his fingers around theirs — how fragile they seemed! — and urged them both to get their rest. “I’m savagely hungry,” he said, and he found it was savagely true; he felt he could eat the meals of a hundred men. “And I feel as though I could scale the mountains and move the stars. I’ll take care of myself, and we shall all reconvene this afternoon, and you can tell me the horrors of my resting, for you both seem as though you have been through a bloody war.”

Lucida did not resist; she looked relieved, and kissed Jet’s cheek warmly. “It was a war. And it was bloody. But yes, I will rest. Gemma will be pleased that I return to my own bed,” she said quietly — only for Jet to hear.

He squeezed her hands and kissed them, and said, “Please give her my regards.” Though much of the horror of the last few days was forgotten, he did know that he’d behaved horribly beforehand, and wished to smooth over that conflict.

“I will,” she promised. “Please get my brother to sleep. We have not left your side in days, and he has much to do, much to catch up on,” she said, her voice pitched a little louder, so Immanis could hear her. “He must soon meet with a delegation from a city-state further from the Luminora, further into Intemeratus Posito. They are vipers, a greedy set of people who wish to swallow our wealth and resources for their own,” she sighed. “He must be entirely polite; they do have a sizeable army of which we could make more use…”

Immanis rolled his eyes as his sister left, saying, “You’re awake. My people are awake. There is no reason to–”

“Excellency,” Jet interrupted, earnest. “You’re exhausted. Please, go to bed. We can talk soon enough.”

“I am not used to not being obeyed, my Jet,” Immanis growled irritably; his eyes flashing with warning. “I understand I cannot compel you, but it does not mean I appreciate it,” he said, all but baring his teeth.

“On the contrary,” Jet interrupted, reaching out a hand and laying it to Immanis’s chest. “You appreciate it perfectly, my brother. You cannot make me agree — I will back you, side with you, fight for you, fight with you based on my own choice. On the true merit of your words and your actions. You will get no false love from me.”

Immanis nodded, lifting a hand to Jet’s cheek, and sighed, dropping it away again. “We will get food, and then retire, but you will not put me to bed like a tired child.”

Even if you are acting like one, Jet thought, but did not say aloud. “You will put yourself to sleep, I imagine, and I shall rest nearby, so that when you and Lucida wake, I will know,” he promised.

Immanis agreed, and while the two men waited for the house servants to bring food, he said aloud, “My blood was in you. That is why you were ill. You have been changed, Jet.”

At the same time, Jet said aloud, “I’m not in love with Lucida. I can’t marry her.” He flinched back from the potential response, but then relaxed, confused, saying, “Changed me how?”

“You may not be in love with her, but you love her, and it will do her good to have you as a husband,” Immanis said dismissively, shrugging. “Changed you — it was your novo, your… metamorphosis. You have this word, yes? Your change into man.”

“Ah,” began Jet delicately, an expression of bafflement crossing his features. “That’s just… isn’t that just puberty? Maturation? Normal people don’t fall into bloody fevers for days,” he said. “They just go through horribly awkward times where they grow too quickly and voices change and it’s all a matter of… of–” Jet’s brow is crinkled as he struggles to find the right words to articulate the horrors of adolescence. “Hormones?”

“The shift from being unable to breed to being capable of breeding is of little consequence,” Immanis said, waving a hand dismissively.

That statement, in and of itself, showcased a difference between Ilonan culture and Centralis culture that was so remarkably vast, Jet nearly felt his head spin. “Of little consequence? It… it–” Jet struggled, his eyes widened. “It’s the most significant change in a–”

“It is primitive,” Immanis said, pursing his lips. “If the ability to breed was the most significant anything, it would mean inanimate objects and childless unions were worthless,” he said. “It would mean art was nothing, and the elderly were obsolete. Considering this is so far from the truth as to be offensive toward it, I require your silence!”

Jet opened his mouth again, but Immanis snarled immediately, “I am not interested in the backwards customs and shames of the childish people who walked away from civilization to die of starvation and common diseases!”

Jet narrowed his eyes briefly, and his jaw was set for a moment before he sighed, saying, “I apologize for interrupting you.”

Immanis sighed as well, rubbing his face, and reached out to take Jet’s shoulder, and walk him to a mirror in his dressing area. “I am speaking of the abilities I told you of, before. Lucida’s speed. My voice. There are others who have grown great strength or skill of the mind,” he explained. “You.. I do not know what it is you possess. Only that because of my blood, you achieved your own novo — it was this that afflicted you for so many days,” he said, gesturing to Jet in the mirror.

He recognized himself immediately, and yet not at all. Gone was the boyish rounding in his cheeks; the bones of his face had gone sharp, his jaw a clean smooth line. Gone was the pallor of his unsunned skin; his flesh bore a golden-bronze sheen. Gone was the short, spiky haircut of the Academy; not it spilled past his shoulders in a thick black fall. Gone were any traces of softness to his expression, his body. He was muscled and lean, and there was something unforgiving about him, something hard. Most stunning of all were his almond-shaped eyes — their color had shifted to a brilliant gold.

Jet looked shocked, and leaned in to stare at himself, lifting one hand and putting it to the glass. He saw in the mirror that his hand was changed, too, and it made him glance down and trace a finger over the red weal. “You did this to me?” he wondered, glancing over at Immanis.

The prince of Ilona could not comprehend if Jet’s expression was one of wonder, one of worry, or one of anger. “Yes,” Immanis said.

“But you don’t know what it did to me,” Jet continued.

“…yes,” sighed Immanis.

Jet’s answer was practical, if wry. “Let’s hope it’s something useful, then.”

* * *

It was early in the afternoon when one of the servants came running to the antechamber of the princes suites. Jet was leaving, having finally gotten Immanis to agree to rest, and he spun toward the servant and hissed, “Morieris!”

The young man panted, looking fearful, and said, “Mactabilis Plaga of Tenebrae is here and demanding to be seen.”

“Take me to him,” Jet said, shrugging.

“Yes, lord,” the servant whispered, and hurried back to the audience chamber, with Jet in tow.

When he walked into the chamber, he saw a dozen well-armed men with their hands on their weapons, looking by turns arrogant and lazy. He pressed his hands together and strode forward, smiling calmly, and called out a greeting. “Salutatem! Innumeris gaudia in domum tuam,” he offered. Entirely polite, Lucida had said. Jet wanted to make sure he kept to it.

It didn’t matter. Immediately, the men were on alert, all but snarling, while the man Jet was certain would be revealed to be Plaga himself lifted his chin and snarled epithets. He spat on the floor and snapped, “Immanis. Iam.”

Jet pursed his lips and sighed, rubbing his face. He slipped into his other tongue, looking apologetic. “I’m terribly sorry, but Venator is not to be disturbed. Can I offer you any other hospitality? You have come earlier than was planned and you are welcome here, to be sure, but–”

“Plaga!” Immanis called from across the chamber, having entered behind Jet and the servant. “Coivit bestia! Vestram deprecor tuam sphaeram exicederes!”

Jet’s jaw dropped; that certainly wasn’t polite.

* * *

NEXT

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Welcome Cakewrecks/Epbot fans!

I had no idea I’d end up with new followers based on my brownie story — come for the nostalgia, stay for the airships?

For those of you who have absolutely no clue as to what I’m talking about, carry on, carry on. For those of you who do, seriously go check out Gluten Free Girl and the Chef.  Those brownies will make you feel like you’re home.

In about 75 minutes from the time of this post going live, DeathWatch #48 will hit the intertubes. Aren’t you just quivering with excitement?

While you wait, how about a quick #DeathWatch poll?

[polldaddy poll=8866113]

You can vote more than once if you feel the need, but you can’t pick more than one at a time.

I promise I won’t Joss your favorite character just because you picked him or her* — the poll’s so I can focus on a character at a time for some visual posts I’m working on.

* * *

*I reserve the right to Joss anyone I want, but it won’t be because you said they were your favorite!

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Tell Me You Know

I have no need of your misery;
I am creating my own in mixed media —
the watercolor of tears
and the tempera of blood,
glitter and confetti
for every single fake celebration of life.
Glue it to the canvas
with the spit I plan
to put in your eye.

My agonies are artistic;
I want to share
their distress with you.
Look me in the eye
and tell me you know
how I feel.
Tell me you know.

I need someone else to know.

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Won’t You

This is a bad day,
the kind of one where the world
feels like red smoke
and tastes like hate-flavored sky.
This is a bad day,
where there is no do-over,
no reason why.
I feel taken apart,
taken down,
cold in the middle of my heart.
The exhaustion comes from wondering
if I will ever be good enough
and then deciding somewhere in there
that I don’t care,
but secretly I’m craving
your approval and attention.
Love me, won’t you?
Love me
so I can love me, too.

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