You’ll never get better
or figure it out later, they said.
I’m just so lonely, she said.
I just want to be
understood, she said.
He stares over my shoulder
and he is judging.
He is deciding
what I am worth.
I feel shame
and shame
and shame
and shame.
These are the faces I make
when I am trying to
give up my darkest secrets.
These are the faces I make
when I have checked out.
The urge I have had,
I don’t understand.
This cycle.
I’ll break it.
I’ll fucking show them, she said.