The creature was a fascination; the captain hadn’t come back in hours and no one had thought to call out. When our band crested the ridge, the few children left to us ran down the muddied, rocky slope, heedless of the exhausted, wordless bleat of warning that came from an over-protective few. The fallen thing fell silent and reached for them as they came close, and they crowded round, grubby fingers eager to touch it, their mudstained hands leaving redgrey fingerprints and smears. Our captain stood and carefully watched them explore, watching, too, the skything, as it struggled to respond to each querying touch. At last, overwhelmed, it lifted its voice in song, and the astonished crowd drew back, holding its collective breath. That is how we found them, surrounding and surrounded by it. It sang as though that were the only way it knew to speak. It sang as though its voice were Music itself. It sang, and we listened, with no thought to the lengthening shadows, or the coming chill.
Return 2
For Trent (And Bill, and the people who read the refrigerator note but don't understand it…)
Maybe because
it is spring
I am naked
and whitegreen,
newly formed
and forming.
Maybe because
I want the wind
on my face
and at my back.
Maybe because
I am burned
by the sun
but need it
to blind me.
Or maybe
the taste of ashes
means I am
a phoenix, rising,
and now
it is time
to fly
again.
For Trent (And Bill, and the people who read the refrigerator note but don’t understand it…)
Maybe because
it is spring
I am naked
and whitegreen,
newly formed
and forming.
Maybe because
I want the wind
on my face
and at my back.
Maybe because
I am burned
by the sun
but need it
to blind me.
Or maybe
the taste of ashes
means I am
a phoenix, rising,
and now
it is time
to fly
again.
Return
In the aftermath, there were those who uncovered the dead, and those who buried them. There were no services, no names, and no mark-stones. No one would look upon the fields sown with blood and ash. We were wide-eyed under the stars, Â squinting under the sun. We staggered and tumbled, blown in every direction, fallen leaves in an unexpected storm. At times, there was little enough to say that we would go for weeks without speaking, without a sigh or shout or sound. Perhaps that is how, when it came from the heavens, cloudstained and broken-winged, the captain’s heart was caught — he was the only one who remembered what it was like to hear music. He stopped covering the faces of those who would never see again, and he followed the ghost of a memory as it drifted on the wind, to the spot where it lay in the stone-grass, shattered and scattered and still singing, staring up at the hole in the sky where it had fallen through.
Kneel
Listen, listen. Ear to the door and you can hear the heavy bass and slow, nearly-non-existant drums of something Top 40 Generic; she plays it while she lays on the floor and looks for galaxies in the texture of the ceiling tiles. When she’s high, she lets the white of everything melt down and puddle on the floor — later when she’s coming down, she’ll clean it up while she listens to the soundtracks to anime that she’s never had translated, a springing beat to the Japanese lyrics she can sing, but can’t understand.
Except today, while she’s staring up at the ceiling, her eyes will glass over, and she’s never going to breathe again — those nearly-non-existant drums are more like the nearly-non-existant heartbeat, slowing and slowing in her chest.
Listen, listen, and you’ll be able to hear it stutter.
She doesn’t feel it; she’s finally found her stars.
* * *
Kneeling down over the body, he rested his fingertips on the cheek, still warm, and kept his eyes shut. This was not the first body he’d seen, not the first death of someone too young, not the first death of someone who ‘didn’t deserve it’. Not the first time it was senseless, pointless, horrific, depressing, full of despair.
This was not the first time he’d fallen in love with a corpse for the way she finally looked peaceful.
This was not the first time he lit a cigarette in the midst of a crime scene and walked away.
This was not the first time it hurt — perhaps that’s why it hurt so strongly, so that he couldn’t get used to it, couldn’t be blinded by it, couldn’t be dulled to the fact that failure was not an option, that human lives are worth more than paper, money, drugs, sex, booze, contracts.
That every time he squeezed the trigger, someone else would find themselves kneeling.