It’s Just Me, Then

Every winter she paces the pavement, nimblefingered hands stealing wallets from slickhaired men. She sleeps on rags and cardboard stuffed deep into the steel and concrete vaults of overpasses, nests made of necessity and spite.

She walks when it’s too cold to sleep, or dozes in all night diners, bumming cigarettes, tipping heavily for endless coffee, reading worn copies of paperback books, writing notes in the margins, trembling so much she’s forgotten how to be any kind of still.

She’s lost and she’s been lost for so long, she’s feeling more and more certain she’ll never be found.

“It’s just me then,” she mutters to the empty seat across the booth. “Just me.”

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Come On and Tell Me

Why’s it matter
what’s the matter
you can say what you want,
it’s hardly gonna change the fact
hardly gonna change
what happens once we fall apart
once we fall apart we’re done for good
and we’re done for good if you think the moments
are the only thing that matters
why’s it matter
what’s the matter?

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Getting Blue

My fingertips
are getting blue.
Is it cold or
lack of air
or maybe lack of you?

It drives me to become
different colors?

How much of me
is missing because
I can’t breathe you in?
What of me
lacks enough to become
red and warm again?

What drives me to become
different colors?

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Help me

I’m back in that space
where it’s perfect to be
spread for you, gorgeously undone.

I know you know what I want,
the cold scalpel,
the hot stone,
the heaviness of your glove,
the pressure of your fist.

Back in that space
where I can hear
the crying of your heart,

the wanting of you
to bend me, break me.
You know I know what you want,
the split of me peeled open
and singing for you.

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Wish I Could

Wish I could pluck out your eyes,
peel off your skin,
tear out your hair,
rip off limb and stem and root
and hate you to death.

Wish I could drown you
and everything about you.
Wish I knew a way
to unsew you from me,
rip out every seam,
cut every stitch.

Wish I could unravel the thread of you,
make you come undone at all the knots,
unbutton the buttons,
unzip the zippers,
unstuff your air head
and your fluff body.

Wish I could make you feel
what I feel
every moment I have to look at you
inside me.

Wish I could undo you
to the time and place we met
and move my life forward
without the taste of you
contaminating the flavor
of the rest of my life,
turning me bitter,
bitter.

What would I taste like, without you?

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