Chuck Wendig/Terrible Minds Flash Fiction Challenge: Drabble – Dialogue

Wendig’s Challenge this past Friday was simple, and not: Drabble. 100 words of flash fiction. Anything. Just go.

All right, then.

*cracks knuckles*

* * *

“She here?”

“Not here right now, sir.”

“Comin’ back?”

“She’s not here, right now, sir.”

“Can bloody well tell she’s not fuckin’ ‘ere right now, y’stoat-felchin’ stoma-fucker.”

“Please don’t use that language, sir.”

“…she here?”

“No, sir.”

“…she comin’?”

“Don’t believe so, sir.”

“Why not?”

“Everyone’s already here. There’s no one left.”

“S’no one left.”

“That’s right, sir. Everyone else is gone.”


“She’s gone, sir.”

“She wouldn’t let me stay like this. She’d end it proper-like.”

“Not nice of her.”

“Perfect of her.”

“If you say so, sir.”

“I burned her.”


“S’okay. She burned me back.”

About Catastrophe Jones

Wretched word-goblin with enough interests that they're not particularly awesome at any of them. Terrible self-esteem and yet prone to hilarious bouts of hubris. Full of the worst flavors of self-awareness. Owns far too many craft supplies. Will sing to you at the slightest provocation.
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8 Responses to Chuck Wendig/Terrible Minds Flash Fiction Challenge: Drabble – Dialogue

  1. dhippensteel says:

    First, let me commend you for proper use of the term “stoat-felchin’, stoma fucker.” Additionally, I love the way the interaction in the piece is so rapid fire. You told me last year(ish) that you don’t like writing dialogue, for the life of me I can’t imagine why.

    • First — thank you. I have… a close friend who is a veritable font of horrible, horrible curses. Actually… I have a lot of friends who are horrible cursefonts. Huh.

      I… have no excuse for possibly having told you I don’t like writing dialogue. Occasionally I worry it’s too stilted, that people wouldn’t actually talk the way I’ve got them talking, that it doesn’t flow, that the people all end up sounding alike — that all my characters, ultimately, end up sounding like the guy who called the other guy a stoat-felching stoma-fucker.

      Which, all in all, isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in my head. I think that guy’s funny.

      • dhippensteel says:

        In what passes for my circle, I tend to be the cursefont (which is now so going to be an animated statue thing encountered if I ever write another D&D adventure) which makes talking to an eight-year-old a challenge akin to playing verbal game of twister.
        I think, because I have this problem too, that you might think your characters all sound alike because you are still in someways thinking with your own voice. In the end I have to trust that the reader’s mind will fill in the appropriate way the character sounds. I figure if they’re bothering to to actually read anything I have to give them that much credit.

  2. Kept waiting for the why which never came. Nice burn. 😀

  3. That was ace! Stoat Flechin, Stoma Fucker may just be my new favourite insult ever!

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