Those Who Left

Peace.

Stillness.

Footfalls are swallowed by wave after wave of greenish moss.

The path through here is worn, stepped smooth by hundreds and hundreds of sandaled and bare feet that skipped, walked, ran to meet Those Who Left. Swaths of cave wall are marked in milk chalk and charcoal drawings, love letters to the Dead who still watch over those not yet gone.

Somewhere in the distance, the sound of water can be heard, not just the trickle of springs pouring down rocks polished to a glassy shine, but a more substantial murmur, an undercurrent of song that reverberates through the long-standing stone, pulses, promises to sync up with your heartbeat, and show you the path with better clarity.

Each new cavern is somehow both darker and brighter than the last, going further into the wedge that exists between life and the underworld. In one, arching towers of stone spiral up from the cave floor toward the ceiling, while in the next, small shrines devoted to helpful spirits bear flowers, arrowheads, small cakes.

The caverns grow warmer, in the descent, as though heading further into the womb of the world, where life becomes death becomes rebirth, and the sound of the water has turned into not only a murmur, but a veritable symphony of whispering.

Wonder and promise are here, as are stability, connection, family, tradition — from the youngest child brought here to understand his connection to the earth, to the oldest crone who will be wrapped in her warmest cloak, to sleep with her cheek pressed to the earth’s cheek, to breathe with the earth’s breath, and listen to its final lullabye.

Part library, part ossuary, part museum, part journey, part story, part legend, part heritage, part blood, part promise, and wholly suffused with the memories of those whose lives are profound without revolution, because they know of cycles, circles, of every ending becoming a new beginning.

The caverns themselves tell a thousand stories that no living soul might know in fullness; each trip into them reveals more about the path, and more about those on it, than was known before.

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DeathWatch II No. 88 – Why Do I Get The Sense You Are Baiting Me?

This is Issue #88 of DeathWatch, Book II: tentatively called Heart Of Ilona, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find DeathWatch, the first in the series, or start from the beginning of Book II!

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

“How are you finding married life, Plaga?” Jet wondered easily, pouring the man a glass of dark wine.

“Ridiculously pleasant,” Acer said, beaming. “You know, she’s one of the most brilliant women I’ve ever met. I gave her a seat on my high council.”

Jet choked on his own glass, setting it aside as he stared at Acer with wide-eyes.

“Don’t look so surprised, Guardian, is not your own wife on your high council?”

“No,” Jet said, laughing, shaking his head. “Absolutely not. I’m on hers. We don’t, in general, like to mix politics in with our marriage.”

Acer said casually, “Your marriage is political, though, is it not? You and the princess did not marry out of love, after all.” He drank deeply from his goblet and looked at Jet over the rim, as if to gauge his reaction.

“Plaga,” Jet said, lifting his chin. “Why do I get the sense you are baiting me?”

“Did you marry Gemma off to keep her away from Lucida?”

Rage flared in Jet’s eyes. As his lips curled back in a furious snarl, Acer immediately moved to put his glass aside, his eyes widening. “Guardian, please, wait –”

“Your wife,” Jet growled. “Where is she?”

“No, wait,” Acer begged. He held his hands up as if to show he was no threat, was hiding nothing. “You are angry? What have I done? Guardian, please–”

Jet’s expression shifted to calm, but only barely. “Tell me, Plaga. Does she please you?”

“Please me?”

“On your council.”

“Yes?”

“At your breakfast table?”

“Yes.”

“At your side in your hall?”

“Yes.”

“In your bed?”

“…” Acer opened his mouth, and his throat worked, but no sound came out. His skin darkened with a heavy flush.

“Have you a sudden modesty, Plaga?” Jet wondered, looking at Acer over the rim of his goblet, now.

“Have you a sudden cruelty toward those who are loyal to you, my Guardian?” Acer’s voice was low and pleading.

“Why did you ask me my motives in marrying Gemma to you? Has she been anything but solicitous?” Jet set his wine down. “Answer me with openness. With honesty.”

Acer flushed, staring down at his cup. “I found diaries. In her rooms.”

“Diaries?”

“Written about the Queen,” Acer said, looking pained.

“…Recent… Entries?” Jet wondered, one brow lifted.

“No, Lord. No, none recent. But they were… They were love letters to her.”

“And? Is she otherwise loving to you, Acer?”

“There are no entries to me in her diaries, if that is what you’re asking.”

“It was an arranged marriage, Plaga. The girl’s swept away from her family and what she’s known. It’s obvious she wishes to make you happy, and will give you good counsel,” Jet said, trying hard not to roll his eyes. He felt a little more reassured that the diary entries were not recent. He resolved to keep a closer eye on Gemma. “Are you expecting her to woo you?”

“You think I’m being foolish?” Acer chewed his lower lip.

“Quite, Plaga. But it is understandable. You were quite smitten with her. It is reasonable on your part to want her to be as smitten,” Jet said, shrugging. “As for her relationship with the Queen… They were closer than any two sisters, but then had a falling out, as family often can. Lucida mourns her leaving, still, but will not see her. I imagine Gemma will be saddened for this for some time, as is my wife. Perhaps you may find a way into her heart by being compassionate about such a thing.”

Acer fell silent, mulling over this thought. Finally, he drained his cup and set it down for Jet to refill. “My Lord, I believe you are right. I am being foolish over such a thing, and if I must burn my thoughts about it, I will make up my mind to be the husband my wife needs.”

“Good man,” Jet affirmed, refilling Acer’s up. “Now, tell me about the soldiers you’ve brought me.”

“Tenebrae has had a rather remarkable army, but because of my family’s treacherous leanings, it was difficult to make certain our soldiers were following our cause due to loyalty to the nation, not to their ulterior motives. Gemma’s visions have been of remarkable help, however–”

“I was led to believe that Gemma’s visions were merely… That she watched Death? How would–”

“We were able to find out who had betrayed their oaths, some going so far as to kill fellow soldiers,” Acer said, not without pride.

“And?”

“…and what?” Acer’s expression was slightly wary.

“And what did you do once you found them out?”

“Gave them quick public trials,” Acer explains, his expression dark. “Very quick. They were offered the chance to beg for my mercy. Those who did were given quick executions and their families were spared dishonor.”

“And those who did not beg?” Jet wondered.

Acer lifted his chin, his expression brooking neither pity nor judgment. “Those who did not were publicly hanged.”

“Hanged.” Jet said the word quietly, tasting it, his brows knitting in a brief furrow.

“Yes, Lord. They were hanged at the gates of my estate, thrown from the wall,” Acer said. “Their families were given the option of cutting their bodies down and leaving with them, or leaving them there as a sign of betrayal, and begging my forgiveness.”

Jet’s brows lifted, then, and he said, “You have a brutal streak not unlike your father.”

“It is not brutality. It’s practicality,” Acer explained. “Tenebrae will follow you into the light, Guardian, I swear it. I’m nothing if not forgiving. I’ve made sure to offer compensation to those who are willing to kneel. Would you do something different?”

Jet nodded, slowly and solemnly.

Acer’s face paled, and he swallowed past an entire desert of sudden doubt. “What… what would you do?”

Jet’s lips curved in a dangerous smile, his teeth shining sharp. “Put my swords through them. If they would not serve me with their hearts, they will serve with their hearts’ blood.”

* * *

NEXT

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Tastes Like

There are those who say
you must bite into life,
that you must take the fruit of it with your teeth,
and know of its sweetness.

There are those who advise
that you should drink of life,
swallow it, consume it in great draughts,
and know of its clear refreshment.

There are those who insist
the only way forward is to eat of the tree of Experience,
that its nourishing flesh
will fill and form you,

but none of those are the ones who will tell you
that you must do all of those things with care,

for if you bite down hard enough on anything,

–be it fruit,
or sky,
or dream–

everything,

everything

will taste like blood.

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DeathWatch II No. 87 – He Was Weak. He Was Filth. As Were You.

This is Issue #87 of DeathWatch, Book II: tentatively called Heart Of Ilona, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find DeathWatch, the first in the series, or start from the beginning of Book II!

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

Garrett didn’t relish the feeling of going back to the place he’d managed to escape from, especially not dragging Kieron along with him.

Sha touched the ground where Djara had been killed. She put her hands to the soil where Kieron told her Nathan went over the edge, and stared for longer than she meant to, wondering what it would feel like if she leapt out over the inland sea, and let herself fall.

“Would be shorter,” Danival said to her, putting a hand on her shoulder, answering aloud her unspoken wondering.

“Don’t mind him,” Garrett said, walking by. He pulled off his face mask in time for Sha to see him roll his eyes. His expression was oddly warm as he looked at Dani, shaking his head. “He thinks suggesting suicide is a sign of affection.”

“Is thinking he is funny,” Danival snorted, shaking his head.

She looked up at him, chuckling darkly. “Yeah.” She didn’t know how else to signify her acceptance without signifying her acquiescence. I believe all of this happened. I accept that it all happened. I do not condone it. I am not happy with it. I do not like it. I do not want it.

Once their feet touched the city streets, once their boots hit the cobblestones, Kieron gestured, “Palace is that way. She was there, when I was taken away. But she might be with the Legatus, since Garrett says he went back. He carried me over the wall. He kept saying her name.”

Sha looked half-disgusted by the idea, her lips curling in a faint sneer. “He’s an Ilonan.”

“He helped get us up over the wall,” Garrett said. “And he had someone on the other side who got us up North. Just as we wish not to be lumped in with all other Westlanders — I imagine there are singular Ilonans who–”

“Have some measure of dignity,” Kieron said lowly, his eyes burning.

Garrett looked at him, uncertain as to whether he should be concerned.

“We’ll split up,” Sha said, wanting to get moving. “You have comms. We have comms. Whoever finds her, shout, and we get back out, over the wall, any way possible. Head north. They’ll have dropped supplies and or a bike or three. We can get north if we can’t get back on a ship right away.”

“You want to take the Palace?” Kieron offered her. “Garrett and I can go south?”

“Done,” Sha said, nodding. “It took us a long time to get into the city proper. You’ve got less than an hour before sunrise. Once that happens, we’re gonna have trouble staying as hidden as we want.” She looked at Kieron, grave. “Be safe. We’re getting her back, but not at the cost of losing anyone else without cause.”

Kieron nodded, solemn.

* * *

Garrett followed Kieron as he moved with unerring ease toward the place in the south where Jules might be; Kieron clung to shadows, hurrying with such speed, Garrett began to worry the boy’s singular focus would land him in the arms of patrolling watchmen.

Instead, they ended up in the back garden as the sun began to come up, the sky turning a vivid blue along one horizon that was quickly swallowed by thick, roiling clouds.

“Is this the Legatus’s house?” Garrett wondered, looking around at the architecture, catching his breath.

“No,” Kieron said, standing tall. He still wore his mask, and his voice was muffled for a moment as he pulled it off. “This is the home of Dominus Aecus. Exosus,” he murmured. He was watching something around a corner, his words hushed, hidden.

“What?” Garrett reached out to touch Kieron’s shoulder. “Brody, listen to me. Is this about Jules?”

Kieron looked back over his shoulder, frowning slightly. “What? No.”

Exasperated, Garrett said, “Then what the fuck is your reasoning for dragging us over here?”

Kieron turned around, his expression half mischievous, almost excited. “Look, Professor–”

Garrett leaned in, his eyes widening. He wondered what could be so important. He didn’t see the knife until it was far, far too late.

The blade bit deep, drawn across his throat. He tried to drag in a breath, and then coughed, blood spraying against Kieron, who closed his eyes and let it bathe him as he pushed Garrett down to the grass.

Garrett stared up at Kieron in shock and betrayal, feeling a chill come over him, wash over him, quick and merciless. He lay, weltering, trying to gasp, to swallow, and could not help the panic that left his limbs trembling.

A life of quiet — that’s all he’d wanted. Was it too much to ask?

Perhaps instead, this is what he deserved?

There were too many questions unanswered, too many things left undone.

He thought of Danival, of the conversation they might’ve had, when all of this was over.

He felt delirious and stupid, for never having honestly imagined he would not have made it out alive.

Kieron simply knelt over him, taking a swath of Garrett’s sleeve and wiping his own face clean.

He moved with a deliberate care that marked him not at all as the innocent schoolboy he’d been, and not even as the hardened soldier he’d been becoming — but as something else entirely.

A monster.

Garrett stared up at Kieron’s face, even as the light in his eyes faded, as the blood surging from his throat finally slowed, pooling on the grass, turning to red from shadowed black in the growing dawn.

Kieron stared back down, waiting. “He’s in here, Westlander,” he said, tapping his temple. “Kieron, that is. I know what he knows. And he knows what you did. What you were trying to do. But I’m here to tell you you failed. The boy you tried to save is long gone, professor,” he said, spitting the word out as a mockery. “He was weak. He was filth. As were you. As is the vermin infesting my house.”

Exosus Aecus stood, wearing someone else’s body, someone else’s blood, and pulled his mask back on.

He tucked his knife away, and walked into his house, leaving Alec Garrett to stare, blindly up at the brightening sky.

* * *

NEXT

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Left Behind

Fingertips find scars on my skin
from where one of us tried to tear our way in —
Or maybe one of me tried to tear its way out.
This heavy flesh, too soft, too weak, too rounded.
Carve it off me in wide, swift swaths;
let it fall until I’m little more
than bone and muscle and tooth and voice.
Let it fall until I am only
the shadow of myself that I can already feel.
Let it all fall away until
the thing I know to be me is purified,
until I am distilled,
and what is left behind can truly be

left behind.

This journey cannot begin
while I am still chained
to something so solid
and so utterly somehow not me.

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