Cold and Flu Season

It began as a thought in the 19th century, a wondering in someone’s head: What’s the earth’s temperature? On average, globally, for that century, it was approximately 13.6 C.

Today, on average, the temperature is 14.6 C, one full degree warmer than a hundred years ago, and statistically speaking, higher than it has ever been in thousands of years.

Most scientists say that it will continue to get higher and higher, that ocean basin temperatures will increase, that ice shelves will become unstable, and melt, and when they do, the sea will rise, and overtake so many shores that the world as we know it will be unrecognizable.

This is blamed on carbon emissions, on “greenhouse gases”, on CFCs, on, predominantly, the human condition, and what we have unthinkingly done to the planet in our hurried sprawl to expand, conquer, survive.

What if, instead of all of those theories, it was merely that the earth finally noticed we’d infected it, and global warming isn’t a strange new phenomenon, after all, but instead, is merely the fever of a celestial body — an attempt to heal itself of the plague of humanity?

About Catastrophe Jones

Wretched word-goblin with enough interests that they're not particularly awesome at any of them. Terrible self-esteem and yet prone to hilarious bouts of hubris. Full of the worst flavors of self-awareness. Owns far too many craft supplies. Will sing to you at the slightest provocation.
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