I haven’t had to change anything on this site in so long

I have forgotten how to do half of it.

I have this new thing I’ve been trying, but I can’t figure out how to publish it on here, because all this website is is a glorified wordpress instance, and I can’t remember how the directories work, otherwise, god help me. If the subscription part of this isn’t working anyway, maybe I burn it all down and start over anyway. People are still reading the old stuff, which is delightful, (if fucking weird, in a way) and it would be sad to lose those fingerprints, but maybe its the last of a skin that needs shedding.

I’ve taken to carrying around a notebook with me. A dear friend suggested it, to use as an outboard memory of sorts, to store thoughts and experiences, to put down literal cut and pastes of things, if need be.

I haven’t written a fucking thing in it, of course, except to state that that’s what it’s for. I know my dear friend will read this and shake his head and probably roll his eyes at me. I know my wife will do the same.

It’s more than a habit — it’s a hallmark of all sorts of neurodivergent nonsense. (My editor has a red line under that word; apparently it hasn’t caught up with today’s vocabulary.) I feel like inscribing my journals/diaries/notebooks with their purpose simply curses them into becoming unused husks of unfulfilled purpose.

I’m not sure this will flow through Tumblr, Facebook, or email subscriptions anymore — I’m shouting into the void right now and that’s okay, because I just need to get moving. I’ve been slowly calcifying in body and mind since at least the pandemic if not before, and if I don’t do some kind of writing, art, something, I’m just going to end up a heap of unmoving sludge.

Even if it’s just posts like this to remind myself I’m alive.

I’m alive.

If this showed up in your email, drop me a line — catastrophe.jones@gmail.com, or a comment below? I promise I won’t use your information to sell you trips to Las Vegas.

About Catastrophe Jones

Wretched word-goblin with enough interests that they're not particularly awesome at any of them. Terrible self-esteem and yet prone to hilarious bouts of hubris. Full of the worst flavors of self-awareness. Owns far too many craft supplies. Will sing to you at the slightest provocation.
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One Response to I haven’t had to change anything on this site in so long

  1. Hmmm. Well, I’m still here. Still receiving you loud and clear, though via the WP reader, not email. I prefer to keep my email traffic to a minimum and so far (since 2007ish?) the reader seems to work for me.

    During the pandemic, I had the impetus and opportunity to build a new WP site/blog from the ground up using the new ‘Blocks’ format and that really helped me wrap my head around it. Perhaps there is a way for you to rebuild your site and then port over the new ‘build’ to your existing domain? Can’t say I’d really know the first (well…maybe the second) thing about how to do that but it seems like something that should be possible. Just a question of how much of a headache is would be.

    Nice to see you around.

    I’m still alive too.

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