Today I broke my foot…

The left one, to be precise.

(Mind you, this is a retroactive post, to explain for a supreme lack of content.)

I went to the doctor’s office for a checkup, and once I was home, rather than work on writing, or resume-polishing skills, I procrastinated in the form of “cleaning the house.” I got ambitious (which is often the case, when procrastinating — taking on a larger, seemingly “necessary” project instead of the one which is most useful, but somewhat tedious, boring, or otherwise stifling (I had had a rather stunning episode of writer’s block — how many parenthetical (or otherwise noted) nests can I create, in this sentence?) and therefore unappealing) and decided to clean out the sunroom.

Did you follow all that?

Well, to make a long story short (which is humorous — at least, to me, considering I write  flash fiction — because I keep making this re-telling longer and longer, by adding asides) I was on the step from my sun room to the kitchen, leaning to pull the door shut to keep the cats from escaping, and when I leaned back to stand up straight, my left foot wasn’t fully on the step, and it slid down abruptly, and hit the flagstone floor.  All my weight, right down on the side of my foot. I suppose I’m lucky I didn’t break my ankle!

It made the most amazing noise. Sounded like a gravel sandwich.

I hopped up and down, in a manner Rudyard Kipling would’ve probably labelled with an amazingly apt turn of phrase, swearing mightily, then limped and stumbled into the house, took some Advil, got an icepack, took my sneaker off, and put my foot up. I supposed that fifteen minutes or so of ice and Advil and I would be feeling remarkably better. However, five minutes after that, I was in so much pain, I could barely text with any coherence, and had to call a family friend to take me to urgent care.

To make a long story somewhat shorter (again, perhaps): I suffered what is called the “Jones Fracture” — and you must believe me when I tell you I was perversely pleased — a break at the base of the 5th metarsal. Apparently one of the most common fractures in the world.

And now I am wearing a strange velcro-plastic-strappy-inflatable boot thing, but I must not bear any weight on my left foot FOR SIX ENTIRE WEEKS.

Oh, cue the madness.

About Catastrophe Jones

Wretched word-goblin with enough interests that they're not particularly awesome at any of them. Terrible self-esteem and yet prone to hilarious bouts of hubris. Full of the worst flavors of self-awareness. Owns far too many craft supplies. Will sing to you at the slightest provocation.
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