DeathWatch II No. 14 – You Did That?

This is Issue #14 of DeathWatch, Book II: tentatively called Heart Of Ilona, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find DeathWatch, the first in the series, or start from the beginning of Book II!

Happy Reading!

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* * *

Still exhausted, still limping, Coryphaeus trudged through the walled-in hunting grounds, following the southern wall east, and then the eastern wall north, until he came to a steep slope leading down to a rocky beach.

It took him all of the morning, and by the time he reached the shore, he was slick with sweat, and he could feel his stitches pulling.

He walked without hesitation to the figure robed in black that knelt at the water’s edge, and stood behind it for a time, silent, waiting.

After a long while, he moved closer, pulled a bottle of water from a pack at his hip, and unscrewed the cap. He knelt beside the figure, and offered out the bottle, saying nothing.

There in the sun, silent, scorched from the heat, the figure took the bottle, drank beneath the hood and scarf it wore, then handed the bottle back.

Coryphaeus stood, then, and offered out a hand, gesturing for her to follow him. “Come,” he said softly. “You will not find what you are looking for, here.”

He led her away from the water, and she followed him, her head bent, her eyes dulled.

When they arrived at his apartments away from the regular barracks, he pulled the doors shut, and all the shades. In silence, he got her food, and in silence, he watched her not eat. He made up a bed for her, and let her lie in it, eyes open, staring at the ceiling.

When he went to check on her later, she was in the same position, unmoved.

He ate, and slept, and went to check on her again, and she was gone.

* * *

The third time he retrieved her from the beach and walked her back to his rooms, he did not leave her, when he put her down to sleep, but instead, sat down in the room with her, waiting in front of the door. She laid still for hours, until finally she sat up, walked the paces of the room, then moved to sit back down on the bed, and lay herself in it, motionless, staring up at the ceiling once more.

He left her that way for only long enough to get her food, and to relieve himself. He took to catching naps against the door, waiting her out, watching her.

One morning, he brought her food, and sat down beside her, and offered her a spoonful, bringing it to her lips. She stared at it, for long moments, and then blankly opened her mouth, accepting the nourishment.

She ate, entirely, choosing each mouthful as he offered them.

He did not force her, and she did not resist.

With a full belly, she finally fell asleep, and Coryphaeus nearly wept with relief as exhaustion claimed him as well.

when he woke, she was gone again.

* * *

“Please,” he said. “Commander, he’s not here.”

“How would you know?” Her voice was rough with disuse, but it came, nonetheless.

Coryphaeus was stunned by her response; he blinked stupidly at her for a few moments before finally saying, “Because I’ve checked.”

“What?” Jules said, equally as stupefied. She hadn’t been expecting something so simple and straightforward.

“Because… I’ve searched for him. He gave his life for mine, and I don’t even know why,” Coryphaeus said quietly. “I’ve searched for him, and I’ve had my sister search for him, and my men search for him, and he is not in the capital city, nor is he in the sea.” He looked out at the water, squinting against the sun’s glare.

Jules looked down at her hands, and then back to Coryphaeus, pained. “You did that? You looked for him?”

“If it were within my power, I would bring him back to you, Commander. In an instant,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, I–” He turned away, choked up, swallowing roughly.

“Why?” Jules wondered, looking up at him, anger and confusion on her face. “Legatus, why? What does any of it matter to you?” Exhaustion had all but claimed her; she looked drawn and pale, miserable.

“Because I know what it is to be alone!” he finally shouted, his hands clenched into fists. “Because I know what it can be like to have no one but yourself, and to realize you’re aren’t even certain of that. You say you know what I am — you think you know me. Do you know my father tried to have me put to death?”

Jules blanched; she stared at Coryphaeus in shock.

Coryphaeus kept on, pressing. “He tried to kill me. My own brother? Cut off his left hand in repayment for the dishonor of what I am. My sister was kept from me while I was locked away in an attempt to be cured. I was not touched for two years except to cause pain,” he said, his voice cracking as he gritted his teeth, determined to hold back a distressed sob.

Legatus, I–”

He pulled open his robes, then, and bared his scars, his stitches, his wounds. “Do you see these?” He gestured to the crescent scars in the faint creases of his muscled chest. They scrawled against his bronzed flesh in a study of silver and pink, pulling at the flesh, pulled at by the flesh, shining but not smooth, the taut texture of mutilated meat, marking up the smooth expanse of his skin as much as any of the tattoos on any of the other Ilonans.

Jules couldn’t help but stare, frowning slightly, looking at them, imagining what his body had been like, before its change.

“These I had done, to myself. They hurt, but they did not hurt half so much as this one,” he said, pulling the robes open further, to show the silver line etching down from his navel, disappearing into the waistband of his black braccae. “This one was from my father. He cut into me as though I were an animal to be gutted.”

Wide-eyed, Jules stood before Coryphaeus, and lifted a hand to lay it against his chest, splaying her fingers over his skin.

“Why you? Why do I care? Because you’ve been gutted, too, Commander,” he whispered, chest heaving with panted breaths beneath her touch.

“No,” Jules said, her skin paling. She moved to take a step back, but Coryphaeus stepped forward, and offered out his arms. At no point did he confine her, did he hold her and keep her from being able to be free, but he surrounded her, all the same, strength and safety, solid heat.

“You flinch, if someone is too close, and yet you still hope,” he murmured, keeping her near, his touch there, but light.

She stopped pulling away, and trembled in his arms, looking up at him, her pulse pounding in her ears. “You don’t know me,” she whispered, pleading.

“I know you’re alone, and yet you still fight,” Coryphaeus said, lifting up one hand to cup it near her cheek.

She leaned into the touch, closing her eyes for a moment, letting his hand cup her cheek. Red lashes grew dark with tears, and she looked up at him, earnest.

Coryphaeus pressed closer, bending his head down, while Jules tipped hers up, a giddy rush filling her, her cheeks suffused with a heady blush. “I’m not brave. I’m terrified,” she said, staring up at him, and he could feel the thunder of her heart against his chest, battering against her ribs, a caged bird, mad with captivity.

“I know. And yet you still love,” Coryphaeus whispered. “Commander?”

“Yes, Legatus?” She could feel the warm edge of his lips nearly against hers, and the heat of them was a profound sweetness.

“I know you are grieving, and I know I am not the m-”

He did not get the chance to finish his sentence; she pressed close, and whispered, “Call me Jules,” against his mouth, and kissed him where he stood.

It did not matter she was a Westlander. It did not matter he was Ilonan. For that moment, whatever had warred between them surrendered on both sides.

* * *

NEXT

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Have I Not

What have I done
what have I ever done
to deserve the holy terror
you wreak against my heart?

What have I ever done
to make you believe
you have the right
to eviscerate my spirit
and shred my soul?

Have I not given you everything,
my body and mind?
Have I not promised you the moon,
delivered the galaxy,
put out the sun,
lifted you into the sky
and made your eyes twin stars?

Have I not made you immortal?

Are you not all delight and prayer for me,
my perfect child,
my blessed one?

All I ask
is that you love me,
worship me,
serve me,
adore me,
now and forever.

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DeathWatch II No. 13 – Navarchus Mei

This is Issue #13 of DeathWatch, Book II: tentatively called Heart Of Ilona, an ongoing Serial. Click that link to go find DeathWatch, the first in the series, or start from the beginning of Book II!

Happy Reading!

PREVIOUS

* * *

Tu!” Lorem’s shout was piercing; he never called Aneen by his name, only ‘You’ and ‘Idiot,’ usually.

Aneen was used to the treatment; he could remember no other. He loped up to the navarchus’s side and stood still, murmuring, “Etiam, Navarchus?” Waiting for an order, Aneen would let his mind quiet. He tried to turn it back, back before the cold, dark water, back before waking on a table, before a man who was paying for his arm — for him, really.

“We receive reports the air forces are mobilizing. This is not good for our business. They are not interested in us, but in the war they are stirring up. It does not matter — the other ships won’t fly as much, if there are war games going on about us,” Lorem said, quietly talking, leaning against the rail while the quartermaster and swain directed the crew.

The quarter turned, Aneen’s name on his lips — or rather, his version of Aneen’s name, which was far less polite than Lorem’s ‘idiot,’ when he saw the man talking to the Navarchus. His eyes glittered with hate, and he turned away, sneering, and went to directing the other men.

Lorem didn’t notice at all, and kept right on talking quietly to Aneen. “We may move territory,” he said, and cocked his head, gesturing for Aneen to follow him.

Once, Aneen thought perhaps he remembered salt in his lungs. Once, he thought he remembered flying. Crashing. Huge ships falling from the sky, splitting open and exploding against the ground, tearing up great wounds of black earth. He didn’t like that memory, but he held to it, wondering how true it was, and how recent. He’d tried to ask his fellow airmen about such things, but his Ilonan was poor, and they pretended not to know what they called the vulgar tongue.

Only Lorem treated him with something halfway toward consideration. Aneen followed the navarchus without hesitation, until Tenuis shut the door behind them both, and then pointed to the maps on the table. There were plenty of the known world, but Lorem pulled a few close, tapping them to get Aneen’s attention — which was held at that moment by the items littering the walls of the navarchus’s chambers: some where superstitious relics, half-tied knots, feathers braided together, and bottles of what looked like aetheris vapor. Lorem himself was decorated like that, well dressed and then covered in tiny details of what Aneen had assumed were nostalgic souvenirs of a sort, or superstitious items kept for luck.

Aneen turned and lifted his eyes to Lorem, who was studying him as well. “Here’s where we are,” the Navarchus said, pointing at section of the map. “And here,” he added, gesturing to another section, “is where the Kriegs will invade.”

“The Kriegs?” Aneen said, frowning slightly. He closed his eyes and could smell tobacco leaf and gun oil. It made his heart hurt.

“Yes, stercore. The Kriegs. Reports say they are finally coming down from the north,” Lorem sighed.

“A full invasion?” Aneen wondered, leaning over the map, ignoring the way his heart felt heavy in his chest, heavy and tight, thundering.

“Yes,” Lorem sighed. “Our illustrious Prince, may he live forever, long may he reign, has finally angered our neighbors with his merciless, bloodthirsty ways.”

“We should fall back,” Aneen said, pointing to the map. “Here. Seplasia. The perfumed lands. It isn’t far from where we are now. But first, we should warn the Prince, long may he reign.”

“The Prince?” Lorum snorted, looking up at Aneen. “I was just beginning to believe you had half a brain in there, boy. Why should we do such a thing?”

“Loyalty, Navarchus?” Aneen said, looking confused.

Lorem looked touched, and sighed, reaching up to put a hand on Aneen’s shoulder. “Maybe my second is right, and you really don’t belong on this ship,” he sighed.

At that, Aneen looked distressed, looking around, looking at his hands, looking at the one of flesh, and the one of metal, then looking to Lorem. “Please,” he said. “Please let me stay. I work hard. I won’t fail you.”

“You do. And you won’t,” Lorem said, sighing, shaking his head. “Get back out there. Give the word to the pilot. We’ve got a long haul ahead of us.”

Navarchus?” Aneen wondered, looking confused.

“If we want to get to Seplasia before the Kriegs arrive, boy, we don’t have long to warn our prince now, do we?” He said, pursing his lips. His dark eyes looked back over the map, and he began to make notes, pulling out other papers, and checking charts.

Aneen’s eyes were wide as he looked to his commanding officer. “No, Navarchus.” He hurried out of the quarters onto the deck and for a moment was disoriented.

This isn’t my ship, he thought. This isn’t

A blinding headache pierced his skull; he clapped both hands to his head for a moment, until it passed.

Ut movens!” The quarter master’s voice was piercing as well; he shoved Aneen forward, and it was all Aneen could do to keep himself from sprawling to the deck as he struggled to find his balance. He hurried for the pilot’s seat, scrambling away from the quartermaster, who turned to follow him.

Aerisrego,” Aneen said, panting, leaning in the door, struggling with using Ilonan, trying to make himself understood. “Iussu Navarchus — reverti? Et capitalis… Retro.”

Capitalis?” roared the quartermaster, standing just behind Aneen. “Nequam sus!” He began to shout at Aneen, and at the pilot, countermanding the order, and when the pilot did not comply, he pulled a pistol from his side, and leveled it at the man, snarling in frustration.

It wasn’t until the Navarchus revealed himself, standing behind the quartermaster, that the man pulled back, looking more than a little embarrassed. He growled a quick apology which was greeted with a blank look from Aneen, and a curt nod from Lorem, and was gone in a moment.

That night, Aneen could not sleep. He stood at the rail, the wind in his face, nodding to those who walked the watch, staring out at the night, the clouds, the stars. In the distance, he imagined he could see the faint glow of the stars upon the surface of the inland sea, but they were miles and miles off, yet.

After a time, he turned to see the Navarchus had joined him. The man held out a glass of something to him; he took it with a careful hand, looking it over, and when the Navarchus lifted his, Aneen did the same. When Lorem drank, Aneen did the same, wheezing briefly, when he felt the burn slide down his throat. When he coughed, Lorem Tenuis laughed aloud, and it made Aneen smile.

For a brief moment, he felt home.

For a brief moment, Lorem Tenuis saw something in Aneen’s eyes that made him question his decision to keep the man, and he put his hand on his blade, his expression uncertain.

Aneen lunged forward, wrapping his arms around the man, and spun, putting him to the rail. There was the sound of metal on metal, but in the darkness, Lorem could not tell where the threat came from; he felt a blade kiss past his cheek, and then heard the grunt of Aneen taking some kind of impact.

He drew his own blade, even as he watched Aneen turn, putting himself between Tenuis, and whatever else was in the night.

Again, again, the clash of metal on metal; sparks flew, and Aneen cried out in frustration and fury.

The crew took up the cry, realizing there was a fray. Torches and lights were brought out, but it was over almost before it began — in the glare of the light, Lorem saw Aneen on the deck, his metal arm around the quartermaster’s throat. The quartermaster was stabbing at Aneen wherever he could reach, and the blood was startling, more so for the fact that Aneen would not let go.

Aneen held the quartermaster, looking up at Lorem, expectant, waiting, flinching as the knife in the man’s hand sunk into his thigh, bit into his hand. The crew stared, watching Aneen, watching the Navarchus, watching the quartermaster flail.

None of them seemed to know what they should do — but they knew what they shouldn’t do: interfere.

Tenuis watched Aneen quiver, holding tight, staring up at him, just waiting, taking strike after strike, bearing it.

Eventually, the quartermaster spasmed violently one last time, and then went still, his eyes falling shut.

The crew seemed to let go of their collective breath.

At that, the sound of the man’s neck breaking was sudden in the ship’s silence. Aneen released the body, and slowly moved to crawl away, panting as he reached Lorem’s feet.

The crew stepped back, as a group, giving them space.

Aneen knelt, looking up at Lorem, bleeding. “Paenitet me, Navarchus,” he gasped.

“What have you done, Aneen?” Tenuis said, looking over at the body of his first mate.

“He wanted to kill you. He wanted me dead, and you protected me.” Aneen’s voice trembled, there on the deck, the wind in his hair. He kept his exhausted eyes on Lorem as he spoke, wiping sweat from his face with a bloody hand, painting himself in crimson. “So I protected you. Poenam seditionis… Morte est,” Aneen said, “navarchus mei.”

The penalty for mutiny is death, my captain.

* * *

NEXT

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Oppressive/PushPull

In all this time,
after all this time,
because of all this time,
all the time,
always,
I am hearing your voice
telling me hush,
telling me shh,
telling me no,
telling me be quiet,
telling me don’t talk,
telling me don’t speak up,
telling me don’t say a word,
and if I
and if we
and if you
and if they
and if everyone
just managed
to keep their heads down
what would we learn
if we never saw the sky?

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Likely Love

That feel of your hand in mine,
fingers slipping through fingers,
cold against hot,
gloves or no gloves,
where I cannot remember
the taste of your lips,
except in fragments
of certain songs.

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