Holding My Own

I’ll make sure to remember,
while I’m going down with the ship,
that you left me with this.

I’ll make sure to remember,
while I’m rearranging these deck chairs,
that you just sat there.

I’ll make good goddamn sure
I picture your face,
every time I look around this place.

I tried to take a big cup
of shut the fuck up
to swallow such a bitter pill,

but I’ve had enough to drown,
and it ain’t goin down,
don’t think it ever will.

I’ll make sure to remember,
while I’m cleaning up what you left
that it’s really just your mess.

I’ll make sure to remember
while I’m trying not to fall
that this is really all your fault.

I’ll make good goddamn sure
I picture your face
when I take a can of gasoline to this place.

I tried to take a big cup
of shut the fuck up
to swallow such a bitter pill,

but I’ve had enough to drown,
and it ain’t goin down,
don’t think it ever will.

I was holding your hand
this whole time,
til I found it was mine,

just holdin my own, holdin my own, here,
and if I’m gonna hold my own,
I’ll hold it high,
light the sky on fire,

and never look back,
and if I never look back,
I might not notice you —
and how you never
looked back at me, too.

You got out while you could
now I know I should
have done the same.

You got out while you could
that’s fine, it’s all good,
and if I were a better man,
I could even take some of the blame.

(But I won’t —
now where the fuck are my matches?)

I tried to take a big cup
of shut the fuck up
to swallow such a bitter pill,

but I’ve had enough to drown,
and it ain’t goin down,
don’t think it ever will.

I was holding your hand
this whole time,
til I found it was mine,

just holdin my own, holdin my own, here,
and if I’m gonna hold my own,
I’ll hold it high,
light the sky on fire,

and never look back,
and if I never look back,
I might not notice you —
and how you never
looked back at me, too.

About Catastrophe Jones

Wretched word-goblin with enough interests that they're not particularly awesome at any of them. Terrible self-esteem and yet prone to hilarious bouts of hubris. Full of the worst flavors of self-awareness. Owns far too many craft supplies. Will sing to you at the slightest provocation.
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